May 20, 2014

Chin up, buttercup!


My eyes felt like they'd been given a thorough scrubbing with coarse sandpaper. Weary and red, they blinked away a few more sleepy tears as I lay back against the wooden headboard, the bedroom fan rippling airwaves across my face as a full moon shone vividly across the dark sky outside. It was precisely nine days since I had opened my Etsy shop and you'd think that I would be nothing but a  bundle of happiness every second of the day as a result.

Nothing, unfortunately, could have been further from the truth. While I was, and very much am, elated that I launched a shop, what I wasn't prepared for once I'd done so was the toll and barrage of stress, challenging emotions, mixed reactions and responses (about having gone from being "just" a blog to a blog + a shop) from my online public, the toil that the financial investment I laid out to get things off the ground, and the incredible fatigue and long stretch of that zero sleep (three days or more sometimes at a time) that having done so would take on me. I was taken aback, and not in a good way, but how some people responded to me opening a shop and this hurt me to the core at a time when my emotions and nerves were already as a raw as a freshly peeled grape.

Beyond that though, was the larger picture. I was exhausted and worried and each new concern or reminder of what was troubling me seemed to heighten my anxiety and set me off into a fit of tears. This, I assure, sensitive soul as I always am, is not commonplace for me in the slightest. Quite the opposite actually, I'm usually the type to buck up instantly, smile through the stress, and plow forward with steadfast determination. But I think that I'd simply been pushing myself too hard, for too long, with a head far too full of concerns, and as a result I was going though a bit of mini emotional meltdown.

I loathed how I was feeling, knew that it was hampering my productivity, and that I truly was happy to have launched a shop, which, don't get me wrong, tons of folks (online and off) were, and are, wildly supportive of. I needed to pull myself up by the bootstraps and move forward right quickly. So that's what I did.

You see, I've always believed that we have the power to choose happiness and to create our own destiny. It's okay to be blue and sad, even to throw a pity party for ourselves from time to time, especially when such is justifiable, but hitting low points like that are incredibly draining and won't help you do anything more than tread water at best and at worst, they may cause you to sink entirely.

Glancing towards at the silvery May moon, I blinked away those straggling tears, got up, splashed cold water on my burning eyes, quite literally shook my head a few times, and vowed to look upward and onward, not down at my worries from here on out.

My Etsy shop is not my blog and I needed to realize that I can't see it as merely an extension of such. It is a brand new baby, with much growing and developing on its own to do. Yes, it may get a bit of help from my blog, its five year old sibling, and its audience sometimes, but I must look at it as the separate entity that it is and foster its growth and development right from the start in ways that are mix of familiar and brand new to me.

I had to remind myself that this (opening a vintage shop) was already the fulfillment of a dream of mine that took root years ago, that I'd already done so much and that I didn't have to push myself, no joke, to the point of collapse every single day for the shop to succeed. And, most of all, I had to tell myself that there will be times when peoples' true colours are shown and no amount of tears in the world will change the fact that there are plenty of fair-weather friends and blog readers in this world. It's flat out naive to think otherwise.

In the days since that last painfully long night, I have reevaluated and rejigged my schedule, stopped worrying quite as much (I'm a natural born worrier, so I'll never stop there entirely), began pacing myself better when it comes to handling the new trifecta of my shop + my blog + daily life, done several things that I believe will help grow my shop's sales numbers and reach, and above all, stopped crying, put a smile back on my face, and banished my temporary blues.

These are new and exciting times. I can't expect myself to know everything or to get each step 100% right all the time. I may know blogging like the back of my hand, but online business ownership and operation is brand spanking new to me and it will come with its fair share of challenges, and ultimately, I believe triumphs as well. Hard work and problem solving have never scared me away from anything, no matter how big the challenge, and I'm not about to let this be the first time that happens.



 
No way, no how! I'm following both pieces of advice in the graphic above, keeping calm and keeping my chin up alike. I can do this. I will do this. I am already doing this and it's going to be, as I knew months ago when I decided to open an Etsy shop, but nearly forgot in the process, incredible.

Chin up, buttercup? You better believe it, I've got a new business to run, grow, and to see turn into something utterly amazing!

103 comments:

  1. Hang in there sweetie! Any new venture brings stress and worry, and there are always going to be people who want to bring you down, or are jealous of your success, or just don't understand the new direction you are headed in. I think it is great that you are following your dreams, and I think your shop offerings are very nice! Best of luck on the new venture, and looking forward to what you have planned for the future (blog and otherwise!)

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  2. as someone who opened an online shop with my designs this april, based on just having a blog before, i COMPLETELY understand this post and how much stress you must have been through. Chin up and hugs and I'm glad you're keeping your chin up! :D

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    1. I appreciate your firsthand understanding a great deal, honey, thank you. Here's to all of the good and exciting things that the future holds in store for both of our burgeoning shops!

      ♥ Jessica

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  3. Dear Jessica,

    Here you are, getting through it all, and what a great job you are doing! It is wonderful how you can put your struggle into words. I am sorry that it has been such a difficult road, especially with the excitement and months of hard work that went before it, but I am sure, eventually, this jarring beginning will become something like a strange dream because, one of these days believe things will get so great that it will be hard to remember that it once wasn't so great.

    Love you!
    ♥Hope

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    1. Sweet, caring, wonderful Hope, your words lift my soul and are sincerely helpful. I share the same vision and bet that in even just one's years time it will be hard to remember the roughest parts of these early days.

      Thank you with all my heart,
      ♥ Jessica

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  4. Sweetheart you are one of the loveliest and kindest bloggers out there! I cant understand why anyone would feel justified to be rude to you. I wish you much happiness and success, you deserve it for all your hard work and talent. Be gentle with your sweet self and ignore the haters, they have to live with themselves you don't! <3

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    1. Hand on my heart, I had a few tears well up in my eyes as I read your compassionate comment. Thank you so very much, dear gal. I will work harder to heed your advice and be more gentle with myself - I must, I'll become far too run down and browbeaten if I don't.

      Many, many hugs,
      ♥ Jessica

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  5. I'm sorry, Jessica. Deeply sorry. I know, all too well, the stresses and difficulties of running a business. And how debilitating they can be. I also learned, years ago, not to mix business with pleasure. People you believe are your friends become someone else when money is involved. It can be disappointing to see that first-hand.

    To handle this myself, I learned to separate my business activities from my leisure ones (e.g., blogging). I don't mix the two. It takes steel resolve to face business stresses and, when I'm relaxing, I don't want that to infiltrate my life.

    Hang in there. Learn from your experiences. Make smarter choices in the future. As painful as this launch has been for you, try to benefit from it by not repeating decisions that don't work. And good luck.

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  6. You can't let those few people bring you down dear Jessica, you have worked hard for your shop and have done so well setting it up. Congratulations on an awesome achievement!

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    1. Thank you deeply, dear Joanna. Things are looking up again, I'm relieved and very happy to say. Tough few days though, I tell you! Thankfully for every "hater" or harsh critic out there, I'm blessed beyond measure to have amazing, supportive, and genuinely caring friends like you to help me succeed and feel happy in the process.

      ♥ Jessica

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  7. Dear Jessica :)
    Welcome to the Etsy world and congrats on opening a shop! I know it;s an exiting, crazy and stressful time to be finally online and owning a store.
    Let me tell you - your shop is gorgeous- fabulous products and gorgeous photos! It will take time till people will find you. I am sure that you will manage your shop and will get to know the world of Etsy very soon very well like you know blogging. If you have any questions about Etsy, feel free to contact me! Your Sales are already great for the time you have a shop!


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    1. You're such a gem, dear Lorena, thank you so very much. It's interesting, isn't it, how an outsider views my sales numbers so far compared to how I see them. I think, objectively though, that you're the one who is right and that I'm being (in true Jessica fashion) far to critical and harsh on myself. Thank you deeply for the reminder of what's what and also for your offer to be of help. I won't hesitate to call on you with any Etsy issues.

      Huge hugs,
      ♥ Jessica

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  8. I can't believe you received negative feedback about opening a shop! I think it's wonderful that you've done so. Good for you for making a dream come true! I'm so sorry you hear that it's brought you stress but happy to know that you're looking on the bright side now. There are certainly times when things seem grim and unbelievably stressful (like my wedding planning) but your post today is a great reminder not to let things get you down, to think positive and to smile. :)
    -Emily

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  9. Hey, you have to chase your dreams, even if it doesn't fit into what other people think they know about you. Don't let th negativity get you down - it's not like there isn't any constructive critisism there if you look at it enough, but most folks are (possibly?) comparing your shop to your blog and just not seeing a match. There isn't a match, by the way - this is your shop to sell items that you want to sell, and this is your dream to do this.
    Chase your dreams and *insert any dirty term you wish here* the nay-sayers! :)

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    1. Thank you very much, my supportive friend. I don't want to get into too many particulars publicly, but a lot of what was said that was negative to me related to either people saying that they thought I'd now let my blog go to heck in a handbasket because I had a shop (which to me proves how very little those folks know me), as well as some wildly hurtful comments from multiple people to the extent of that (they thought) there was no way someone like me who is chronically ill could maintain a successful blog and Etsy shop at the same time (which I think reverberated with my own fears of as much that were there before I finally took the plunge a few months ago and opted to beginning working towards opening an Etsy store). Some of these folks had been commenting on my blog for months and even years, which added to the sting, but you know what? Ultimately I'd rather see someone's true colours come out like that then have them be superficial when I interacted with them online.

      Huge hugs,
      ♥ Jessica

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  10. I'm sorry to hear that some people have upset you and been downright unkind. I understand the type of stress you are going through. Maintaining a blog and two etsy shops with two sisters can be a whirlwind for me. Etsy shops can take a lot of energy out of you in the beginning and you will make mistakes- I learned that too. Your shop is still young and I can see that you want to do everything the right way. But for me, I had to step back and start over. You can do it!
    :D

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    1. Dear Viola, thank you for your encouraging, wonderful comment which comes from a place of firsthand expeirence. I appreciate your candidness and caring alike so very much and am glad to hear a fellow Etsy seller say that running a shop takes a ton out of you in the beginning.

      I hope that both of your stores are doing wonderfully now and that things will only continue to get better and better for you from here on out.

      Tons of hugs,
      ♥ Jessica

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  11. I'm a little late to the party, but still wanted to congratulate you on you new business endeavor! I think your shop looks great and I'm sure all your hard work and sleepless nights will repay themselves!

    Having a little meltdown over such an endeavor just shows that you are a human being with your heart and head at the right place :)

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    1. Thank you so very much for the splendidly nice congratulations, dear Renee, and for your insightful take on my recent state of mind, too.

      Tons of hugs,
      ♥ Jessica

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  12. Sorry to hear you got some negative feedback. I think your photography as I mentioned beforehand is so good! My sad photo skills are one thing that disappoints me about my own shop. Sales seem to fluctuate with online shops you shouldn't get worried about them as well I have found that almost all customers are happy with their purchase even if they don't leave you feedback or you never hear back from them. I personally would always like to know when the package arrived with a message but it never happens. It takes a lot of work to post as many items as you did keep at it but at your own pace:)

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  13. Sorry to hear your all stressed out, I wish you the best of luck in all your endeavors !

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  14. Were some people mean to you about the new shop?? I can't imagine why, but some people are just like that I suppose.

    Sending big hugs your way and I hope you feel better soon. The things in your shop are beautiful and you have never been anything but kind and lovely to me, and you have a lovely blog too. You have my support, anyway! xx

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    1. Hello dear Helen, thank you deeply. While most - the overwhelming majority, it must be stated for the record - of people were nothing but supportive, kind, helpful, etc when I publicly announced the opening of my shop, a select few were surprisingly harsh, judgemental, and utterly uncouth and said some things (mostly via email and FB private messages) that that cut like knives. True colours were shown to say the least! These comments got me down for a bit, but I can say with complete sincerity that while I won't soon forget them, I've moved beyond them and am now back to my usual chipper, upbeat, optimistic self once again (phew!).

      ♥ Jessica

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  15. It baffles me that someone would be disagreeable that you opened a shop!
    I think it is smashing and the next logical step .

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    1. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, dear Kim. I must emphatically stress that most people were awesomely kind and supportive about my shop, but a few sharp tongue, harsh critics and "haters" came out of the woodwork mighty quickly and I have to say, I really didn't see that coming it. Knocked the proverbial wind out of my sails for a few days, as I tend to be a very sensitive person, but thankfully I've bounced back and my skin is much thicker now, which I'm sure will ultimately serve me well with it comes to doing business.

      Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your support and love for my shop,
      ♥ Jessica

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  16. I'm so sorry that things got bad for you there. I think you are doing tremendously well, so keep it up. Nobody can please everyone, so don't try. Just go on being your lovely self! That is more than good enough.
    sending hugs xx

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    1. That's a beautiful reminder, dear Jenny, thank you deeply. To thine own self be true, I will most certainly strive.

      ♥ Jessica

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  17. Everything will be just fine, just wait and see! Don't let the haters take you down on their own sad and jealous way down. Big hugs!!

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    1. Thank you very much, sweet Liz. No more stress brought on by haters for this gal and her new shop any more - I've gotten over my funk and am in a better mood now than I've been in months (thankfully!).

      Tons of hugs right back at you,
      ♥ Jessica

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  18. Your shop is a divine space in this dark and morbid digital world of ours, and I fail to accept that there's anyone who is to disagree with me. On the contrary: we need muck more places like yours, Jess.. and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
    You are a shop owner. Need I repeat it again: you ARE a shop owner. This is now your job (as the office-work is mine). And you fight for your job, dear. Chin up, gloves off, teeth out.. and all that.
    Do not be discouraged by the lack of inspiration in other people's lives (and they do tend to went-out that rage to any target - in this unfortunate case, yourself).

    I've said this the first time you've told me about your shop: I'm here for you. Darn, if that means sending those who disregarded you my way (for a little "treatment"), do just that... or, more simply, mentally file them under "I don't care" and move on. It works for me.

    Stop worrying (so much).
    Ignore what you don't feel like hearing.
    ..smile.

    Marija

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  19. (((BIG hugs!))) Ah, the joy and madness that is being an Etsian! Getting my policies clear was tough. And I must share this: one of my first sales was a sequin jacket that went to it's new home in China... I was SO far under on the shipping cost. The Jacket sold for $75 and I do believe around $50 went to shipping. Talk about knocking the wind out of my sales!
    Glad you are looking on the sunny side! Love your shop and blog!!
    - L A
    .TheRavishingBlog.

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  20. Very inspiring, Jessica! I believe every blogger has debated opening a shop at some time or another, myself included. Like Helen Mae said, I can't imagine anyone criticizing someone opening a shop, but I suppose it can happen, and unfortunately you've experienced it. For anyone to think they've got the power over someone else's decisions and beliefs, they are sadly mistaken and need a reality-check. You've got my support whatever you do!

    Ivy

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  21. WHY THE HELL would anyone be mean to you about opening a shop?!? Seriously?!? THAT. THAT makes me so angry that I can just spit acid. Lady, do me a favor, don't let these jealous creeps get you down. Don't. YOU, my dear, wonderful Jessica, are beautiful, brilliant, lovable, and utterly dedicated. I love your shop, and find your knowledge of vintage clothing/accessories mixed with goodies for sale to not only be extremely tempting (I will be shopping soon. Must finish this diss!) but also educational! You really put a lot into that shop and your blog, and I, for one, appreciate it. NEVER listen to those with nothing to say. They are only putting doubt in your head because they want you to fail. Why? Because they can't do it. They can't be you, so therefore, you can't be you. You can't succeed because they can't. This kind of behavior makes me CRAZY. You keep going. You keep being fabulous. Please, believe me that you are fabulous.

    Point me in their direction. I've my big boots on today and will be happy to knock some sense into them. grrr ... no one screws with Jessica. SOOOOO angry right now.

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    1. You're the best, honey, oh my gosh - thank you for having my back and for your unflinching support of my new endeavor. They did get me down....way down at first, but I've bounced back and honestly feel better and more optimistic now than I have in months, so maybe, ultimately, their harsh words were a bit like an emotional cleanse for my soul that I needed to "endure" for a few days.

      I believe you and will do my best to keep being fabulous (I've got you for endless inspiration there!). Thank you, thank you, thank you so very much for everything!

      ♥ Jessica

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  22. Oh Jessica, I am so sorry to hear that you have gone through such a hard time over something that should be so much fun, people can be funny and sometimes jealousy can bring out peoples true colours. I am sure you will make a total and utter success of your shop (it looks gorgeous by the way you can really see all your hard work) as you have done with your blog, as if you put even as half as much passion in to it as you have done here you'll be on to a winner! x

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  23. Holy cow, honey! I know your pain!! *lol* Its wonderful and fun and sure the money is great too. I love sharing my finds with vintage lovers like myself and hearing positive feedback......but. I opened mine two weeks ago as a bare-bones attempt to get rid of all of the hoard in my basement and it has been absolute hell. I'm covered in hives from stress head to toe and my hair is falling out. I haven't slept....and I wake up at 3am to check convos. Its pretty ridiculous and I'll be glad when it's all done! Its certainly not a job for everyone and after attempting a full time one of my own for a very short while, I realized that the stress and time involved was totally not worth it for me. My mom on the other hand makes her living with her etsy shop and was able to quit her day job with it! Both of my parents work from home running her etsy shops and they were able to move to a beautiful home in the country last fall and quite literally they have made all of their dreams come true. So, it certainly can be done and it can certainly lead to bigger and more wonderful things. If you're happy and having fun, go for it!!! As for haters- is there something in the water lately?! I usually don't have much of a problem with people but it seems like these mean spirited crazy internet trolls are coming out of the woodwork this week. Maybe it's "International Be Crappy To a Blogger Week" and we weren't informed? Brush them off and keep doing your thing, sweetie. Remember- people can only hurt you if you give them permission. I know that it's hard to not care what people think when you value others so much but if they're just out to hurt others, they aren't worth it!! *hugs*

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    1. Oh my goodness, sweetheart, I am so, so, so sorry that you've been going through the same kind of sleepless, stress riddled, health impacting experience as of late. Your shop is amazing (I've been checking it nearly daily and am beyond impressed with the hard work and effort you've put into it) and I can tell you that I fully appreciate every last drop of effort and moment of time you've committed to make it what it already is today a couple of weeks after you launched it.

      Now that I've weathered this storm, I do feel genuinely happy and excited again - and perhaps most importantly, like my usual chipper self. Even on the roughest day, I didn't think about tossing in the towel and have zero plans to. Challenges don't scare me off and developing a thicker skin because of these initial issues will no doubt prove to be a good thing in the long run. Your parents' story is immensely encouraging, thank you for sharing it with me.

      True! I've seen a lot of "haters" online in our realm lately, too - many more than usual. What's up with that?! Fingers crossed we're both done with them and that we'll soon feel completely like our usual selves again soon.

      You're awesome, Brittany, and I'm here for you in any way I can be. Please don't hesitate to email or FB PM me day or night if you need to chat about anything.

      Endless hugs,
      ♥ Jessica

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  24. I am surprised that some people have been negative about you opening a shop. After all they do not have to buy anything if they don't want to, and it's always been a part of your blog to highlight places you can go to achieve a vintage look. Believe me, I know how hard it can be to try something new when your health isn't as great as it could be - it really does take extra courage and determination. But as you so rightly say, chin up and get stocking those charming doggie brooches and nickel free earrings for me to buy!

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    1. You're such a truly lovely, understanding soul, dear Philippa, thank you dearly. I've got three, count 'em, three new (old! :)) doggie brooches that will be hitting the shop soon, and hope to get my first round of handmade nickel-free items up in June.

      Endless hugs,
      ♥ Jessica

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  25. I am so sad after reading this post. And, believe it or not, I just felt something was not quite ok with you. I felt it a couple of days ago. I am very sensitive for such things.

    I am appalled about the negative reactions that you got for opening a shop. It always amazes me how some people can be so narrowminded about bloggers and how childish they become when the blogger does not walk the path the reader wishes; some people want a blogger to just blog 24/7, without the blogger having other interests and things to do, too. Baffling.

    I cannot think, for the life of me, why anyone disapproves of you chasing and living your dream. You are always so kind to people, so supportive, so enthusiastic ... and this is what you get in return. Luckily there are tons of other people who do support your shop and I am one of them. You have great taste, and an eye for detail and beautiful things and your shop shows that. It shows the beautiful side of vintage and above all your personality.

    I am happy that you have bounced back. You are strong, Jessica. Don't let anyone else tell you otherwise.

    <3

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    1. My fellow sensitive soul, I am very moved that you perceived that something was a bit array with me lately. Thank you for picking up on as much and for your caring, wonderful comments and support. You're a special, dear friend and I treasure your words of encouragement with all my heart.

      ♥ Jessica

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  26. How or why would anyone say anything derogatory to you Jessica dear. You are entitled to open whatever shop you choose and whenever. Just don't let those people get to you. Basically they are the ones with the problems not you. If you read anything that cuts you to the quick just delete it as quickly as possible.
    I always remember what my Mum said and still says 'If you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all'.

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    1. Your mom is right as rain, my lovely friend, thank you for sharing both her and your wisdom with me. My skin has thickened on this front a great deal in the last few days and ultimately, I think that will serve me well as I move ahead as an entrepreneur.

      Tons of hugs,
      ♥ Jessica

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  27. I really can't imagine why anyone could be mean about somebody opening up an Etsy shop, what a silly thing for them to pick fault at! As far as I can see a shop seems like a logical step to take for a vintage blogger anyhow.
    I'm glad you haven't let it get to you though, and I truly wish you and your new business all the best!

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    1. Thank you very much, sweet dear. I agree, it does seem like a very logical step and I was surprised anyone would come at me with harsh words, criticism and scorn. Thankfully, it was just a small number of folks, most people have been the epitome of supportive, caring and fabulously nice about this new venture of mine, which is certainly part of the reason I was able to move past the "haters" so quickly and not let their insults ruin such an exciting new part of my life for even a day longer.

      Huge hugs,
      ♥ Jessica

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  28. wow, people responded mean about you opening a shop?
    i have no words for this ... that is none of their business. what is their problem?
    it's your right to open up a shop and it is your right to advertise your little business with the help of your blog. you might not be the first person using online marketing ... ;)
    there will be always envious persons ... akting mean to the people that realise their dreams.

    as you might remember, the man and i are working on a shop aswell (with all it's ups and bigger downs) ... when i thought about lounging it online i really expected peolpe to be mean (words like: another fashionblogger with a shop, blahblahblah) ... people are just like that. sounds sad and frustrating but this is how it is.

    the most important thing is, that the shop does well and brings in money and joy. as i see, a lot of pieces i saw in your shop are already gone. this is what counts! :)

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    1. You are absolutely spot on across the board, my wise friend. Thank you for the poignant reminders and insightful words rooted in firsthand knowledge. I appreciate your care and support tremendously.

      ♥ Jessica

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  29. eeeeek, and i love the red velvet hat ... and the rainbow hat! wonderful finds! if their wouldn't be taxes i would get both right away. (a sad thing about oversea buys)

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    1. I truly understand, sweetheart - we get hit with similar when buying from other countries here in Canada. Thank you very much for your interest in those hats (OMG, do I love the rainbow one - sooo hard not to keep it for myself! :)) and my shop in general.

      Big hugs,
      ♥ Jessica

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  30. I think it's really sad that people were nasty to you about this. I don't get it but I think your reaction is admirable and I know you will be successful in spite of their negativity.

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  31. Dearest, sweetest Jessica. Its beyond me how people would want to wish you anything but the best of luck for your fabulous venture. Even if they don't really gel with your collection. (I adore it, just for the record! ) . It smells like jealousy to me, if I am honest. Why else should anyone feel even the mildest bit of aggression towards you?

    Therefore, I pray that you can see the attacks as a badge of honour. You did it, you jumped, you took the risk. The jealous crowd is therefore busy finding reasons why you shouldn't have and why it's all wrong. Isn't it sad that these people have to carry so much anger in them? I feel sorry for them! You, however, have taken a wonderful step of faith with your shop and the kindness you display online will ultimately fill your e-shop space with hordes of admirers! Big e-hugs to you!

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    1. I think you hit the nail square on the head, dear Sascha, thank you deeply. Even when people hurt me, I usually like to think the best of them, but jealousy could be playing a role here for sure and would explain the types of "hate mail" that I received. I tell you, it was jarring and quite a big surprise those, but thankfully I'm moving past it and am focusing solely on those wonderful people like yourself who are the positives in my life and online world.

      Huge hugs,
      ♥ Jessica

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  32. I am so sorry that people have been so unkind about your great new venture. I really can't see why other than the wish to be unpleasant. Your reaction is perfectly natural and the lack of sleep will have made things worse. I am glad you are back to your usual sunny self, just remember that there are more kind and supportive people in the world than the other

    You go girl!

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  33. I think it is both strange and hateful that you would be chastised for opening up a shop, but some folks never cease to amaze. Plan to check out your shop a little later tonight. I've been considering opening one myself...hmmm, maybe rethinking, lol.

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  34. Can you imagine having such a miserable existence that you feel compelled to attack someone for opening a business? Of course you can't, because YOU wouldn't! (I can't imagine attacking someone for losing weight because they got cancer either, but I've seen that one too). The internet is wonderful in so many ways, but it really brings the jerks out. Sour grapes, and then some.

    It isn't you. Repeat, it isn't you. Please don't give another second of time to these terribly unhappy people, and enjoy all the hard work you've put into your lovely shop. You'd think most people grow out of that sort of thing by middle school, but I guess they don't (at least not based on what I read in comment threads at newspapers).

    Your shop is lovely, your taste in vintage is excellent, and I have complete confidence that it will be a great success.

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  35. Cannot believe that some people were silly like that! Just do what you like, ir's your blog after all and this new shop is a part of your life, a new baby so why not share it... crazy, jealous people!

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    1. Thank you deeply, dear Laurence, I think you summed things up perfectly. I was certainly in low spirits for a few days, but thankfully I've bounced back big time now and am not going to let my critics or anything else put a damper on my excitement today or my long term plans for the shop.

      ♥ Jessica

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  36. Holy cow, I can't believe people would react that way! That's awful. But I'm so happy that you're sticking with it because it's such a beautiful shop. I do wish you all the very best with it! I hope you start to feel better soon. <3

    Cheers and hugs!
    Jenny

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  37. Oh hun, I know exactly exactly exactly how you feel. It is perfectly normal to feel overwhelmed esp when you have been working so darn hard with so many hours and sacrifices put into it. I think its ugly how some people can be. Thats just disgusts me to no end but think of it this way-imagine how disgusted they must feel with themselves? People who spit out misery are usually miserable. I'm upset for you that happened to you. Just distance yourself from that and from them and know that you are doing a wonderful job and that there are others out there who admire your hard work, determination, and passion. You and I are very similar-it blows me away when people are cruel and rude. I don't think I can ever get used to it but I am learning how to not allow it to sink in and ruin me or my work. Lots and lots of hugs to you! xox D

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    1. You're 100% right, dear Daffny, about everything - including that, much like yourself, even having witnessed and experienced all manner of the dark side of some peoples' actions and behaviors, I get the wind knocked out of me, proverbially speaking, when people are intentionally unkind, cruel, or rude for any reason. I know that such exists in the world, but as it's so far removed from how I try to live my life and the type of people I try to surround myself with, it never stops jolting and unnerving me when I'm in such individual's firing paths.

      Thank you with all my heart - huge hugs right back at you!
      ♥ Jessica

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  38. Oh Jessica I am so sorry people responded negatively and hurtfully to your shop. Like the others I don't understand such behaviour and am appalled that they would not only disapprove for some reason, but also think they have the right to abuse you. I know we only know each other through the internet but you a kind and lovely soul and it realy angers me that someone would treat you this way.

    I am behind in my blogging and SoMe life (my health has sent a new curveball my way and I am still learning to deal with that and hibernating a fair bit) so I apologise for not being more up to date with what's been going on. But I do want to say I am so proud of you for doing this. For taking charge of your dream and being an authentic you. I know what kind of toll these endeavours take and I hope that you can ignore the naysayers (sometimes easier to say than do) and celebrate what you have achieved.

    Big hugs and much love and congratulations.
    Michelle xx

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  39. Oh, Jessica! I'm so glad you shared this with us so that we may support you in getting that chin up, dear buttercup! Those harsh words must have stung a lot.

    My daughter has a pair of red sweatpants that says "Haters Back OFF!". (She also bought a pair for her good friend's birthday. Must be a high school girl thing!) I know you'd never wear sweatpants but they just crack me up. So think of them if you get more hate mail and remember that some 16 year old girls here in the states love those crazy sweatpants that sum it all up!

    {{{{Hugs}}}}

    Sarah

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    1. Thank you very much for the smile-inducing comment and uplifting message that the thought of those red sweatpants brought my way, dear Sarah. Their sentiment is quite similar to one that's been helping me get through the past few weeks big time: http://memecrunch.com/meme/1S0YQ/cheers-to-my-haters/image.png

      Ultimately, that's the kind of stance one has to take to move past their critics, lest the funk of hate mail (or what have you) never departs and alters who you are in a negative way forever (scary thought!).

      ♥ Jessica

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  40. You are one of the most positive people I've ever had the pleasure of chatting with, and I am so glad you're not going to let some naysayers keep you from following your dream. <3

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    1. That's truly beautiful, dear Rach, thank you deeply. You bet! I was down in the dumps for a few days, but neither those critics nor the many other things that were contributing to my stress and state of mind are eating away at me any more, I'm elated to say. It's onward and upward when it comes to my Etsy shop from here on out!

      Huge hugs,
      ♥ Jessica

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  41. Whaaaatttt??? I'm momentarily speechless at the thought of anyone making negative comments about your intentions to open an Etsy Shop. You are undoubtedly one of the kindest bloggers in this sphere we call blogosphere...I routinely witness your sweet comments on blogs; comments written with warmth and sincerity. To read that you've had negative feedback on your newest venture is disappointing to say the very least. Jessica, it may not be much, but please imagine yourself wrapped in a virtual cyber hug from me!

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  42. Jessica, I find it hard to believe that others would have been so unkind, I'm sure the green eyed monster was involved. As a sensitive soul it sometimes hurts us to the core. You are so sweet , kind and generous, qualities not held by your detractors Your shop is indeed wonderful and I am sure will reap rewards, now have some much needed rest . All the best my dear.

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  43. Following your dream means sometimes hard work and disappointments. You are so right, starting a blog and opening a shop is not quite the same, but very similar, and I like to compare it to having children. I know all three, so I can assure you, every one of them is a challenge of its own, but with much similarities. Things don't go well all the time. There are ups and downs. But for some people it just seems everything that Jessica Cangiano does comes easy and effortless, without sorrow and pain. If there is envy, don't forget, there's a lot more joy and sympathy from many readers that love to follow your blog and your new business adventure. I am a shop owner too on Etsy, and I was SO happy to see you opening your shop. There just can't be enough (vintage) sellers! That's what enriches life of vintage collectors. I love looking at other peoples shops, and if I had more money I would buy many more things from them. (Love, by the way, that gorgeous red velvet hat in your shop - my style, my color!)

    Don't let you being drawn by feeling miserable about some jealous comments/reactions. You have a lot of friends or supportive people that are around you and follow you, even from far away like me, so just hold on to your dream and your new "baby". Don't mind those few grudging people - they are an insignificant and minor nuisance compared to many who feel happy for you. You can't please everyone. But you can please yourself. (My mother until this day doesn't understand why on earth I waste my time sewing children's stuff for customers, nor does she understand "that vintage thing" - mind, she's my mom.)

    So just go ahead. Run you shop, promote it on your blog if you like, as much as you wish, it's YOUR blog and YOUR shop. Those who don't like it are not obligated to follow the blog or look at your shop. Others do and like it. That's all that counts.

    Cin up - and cheer up!

    Warm wishes from sunny Switzerland, Doris

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    1. Dear Doris, you are a wise and wonderful woman. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your caring, supportive and very uplifting message. I know that I will read it time and time again whenever I feel a whisper of self-doubt or too much shop related stress creeping into my life again. I truly appreciate your insight, encouragement and online friendship and that you took the time to write me such a touching and beautiful comment.

      Endless hugs,
      ♥ Jessica

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  44. So sorry to hear that Jessica, there will always be people like that in the world sadly and as a fellow sensitive soul I know only too well how hurtful people's words can be. All you need to remember is that we all support you and your shop! Chin up my dear xx

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  45. Oh no! I can't believe that people would react in a mean and rude way towards you for embarking on a new business venture. Some folks really have too much time on their hands, and too much of a mean spirit in their hearts!!! I for one congratulate you on pursuing something that you have wanted to do for so long, and taking the opportunity to follow your dream! Well done girl!!! Don't let the haters get you down, and try not to get too stressed out over it - as I always say, 'work to live, do not live to work'! xxx

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  46. Oh Jessica! I am so sorry to hear that you've had such a rough time lately, but am glad to hear you are coping with it. I think we all struggle with trying to set priorities and not over stretch ourselves, but it can't always be helped and hopefully it is just a season of stress that will quickly pass once you get the hang of things.
    I don't know why in the realm of blogging, and the online world in general, people feel the need and that it is appropriate to critique others they barely know in reality. Most would never walk into a store building and so openly criticize the owner, but online they feel free to tear others apart. I suppose it only shows what they are truly like, for what comes out of our mouths only reveals the true nature of our hearts. If our desire is selfish and to see others fail and to belittle them, then it will eventually pour over into our words. Just know that is their problem and in actuality has nothing to do with you. After all there is a big difference in giving constructive criticism in order to help others and just being critical for the sake of being critical.
    I hope and pray that you continue to flourish and know that their words will catch up with them one day. I hope you know there are more who wish to encourage you than discourage, and I love your shop. Now if only I had more money right now...
    Love,
    Sarah

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  47. I am sorry that you have been having such a hard time. I find it amazing that people could be mean and critical over you opening a shop. I tend to think much of it is jealousy, coupled with obviously not having enough going on in their own lives. Don't let their comments detract from your achievement and from the joy you feel over achieving one of your dreams. I am full of admiration for your attitude. It is hard work to pick yourself up and dust yourself down so well done! Big hugs.x

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    1. Thank you very much, my darling friend. I think that it was a "perfect storm" kind of situation at work here. Had I not been so stressed, sleep deprived, overworked and worried, I probably would have not let these critics and haters get to me so much (I can usually brush such folks off no problem at this point in my life), but add them to the trying mix and I just fell apart emotionally for a days. Thankfully - very thankfully - the storm has passed and it's all sunny skies and high hopes for the future from here on out (helped all the more by the unendingly awesome support of my online friends).

      Tons of hugs,
      ♥ Jessica

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    2. I am glad that you have made it through to the sunny side. That is great news. I was admiring the hats in your shop last night, they are so gorgeous.

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    3. Thank you very much, sweet Kate. I'm thrilled to have added the first batch to the shop this week. Hats are a firm fave of mine, so it's only natural I'd stock some in my shop, too. If there's ever any specific kind of vintage hat you're on the prowl for, please don't hesitate to let me know and I'll do my best to find one for you (it might take a while, but I never give up on a vintage hunt!).

      Big hugs & the happiest of weekend wishes,
      ♥ Jessica

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    4. Thank you, that is a lovely offer.x

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  48. Goodness! As I am sure it has been said before in these comments, hang in there! Blogs can be quite the struggle?! Gosh there are some weeks mine just becomes the "redheaded stepchild I forgot about at soccer practice..." But in the end your toil has great worth! So whistle a happy tune and hold your head up high! (a double dose of Rodgers and Hammerstein for you!)

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  49. Oh, Jessica. This is the sort of thing I often fear will happen, particularly to someone as good-natured and tender-hearted as you are. I even wondered if something had gone awry and am so sorry to hear that it did. Fear and envy can drive humans to do such absurd and unkind things! But regardless of what drove these folks to do such a cruel thing, I hope (and know you will, really) your spirits will recover and your shop will be a big success, and that you continue to promote and MOST importantly, *enjoy* it! Really, if it weren't for the already-discussed-here postal rates between the US and Canada I'd probably have wiped out a small but notable portion of your stock already. ;) Please do your best to shake this off like a duck does water, as my mother used to say, and not let such unkindness affect or wound you too deeply. Too many of us love your sunny disposition!

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    1. Thank you deeply, sweet Jen. I appreciate your support and wise words immensely. You know, one of the biggest sources of stress during that time (and before the shop launched) was actually the very shipping rates you mentioned and a few that they would greatly hinder my shop's sales. I know they'll hurt them a bit, but short of losing money out of pocket on the shipping, there's nothing much I can do other than (as I am) offer extremely low combined shipping rates (usually just $1.00 or $2.00 for each additional jewelry or accessory item) as Canada's Post rates are crazy high and getting worse with each passing year. I have special friends and family coupon code that I can provide you with (email or Etsy PM me for it) anytime, if you'd like, which helps offset the shipping costs if that helps you.

      Aww, thank you! My sunny disposition is back again and out in as full a force as the blazing Okanagan summer sun that has returned to our town once more these days. It's upward and onward for me and shop from here on out!

      ♥ Jessica

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  50. Everyone above has already said it, but I'll reiterate....follow your own heart and don't let others' negative opinions take up space in your head! Their reaction is their problem, not yours. Kudos on starting this new adventure. I lurk more than I comment and post these days, but please know that I'm happy for you! :)

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  51. Jessica, darling, I only have two questions for you - who said that, and where should I bury the bodies?
    All joking aside, I can't believe that anyone would be that hurtful towards you and your lovely shop. I've browsed through it several times now (and ordered - I'm so excited to get my lovely new brooches!), and I've been incredibly impressed by how thoughtfully currated your pieces are, and the obvious amount of love that you've put into photographing and listing them. The only reason that I can imagine anyone would say anything is that they're jealous. Your blog is great and your shop is great. You are, yourself, a kind-hearted person who has perservered through some really difficult circumstances and come out ahead. They can't even touch you.
    I've been dealing with a very difficult coworker today, to the point where I was ready to cry because I was so angry and upset. I decided that all I can do is just turn it around and think about what I can do to make my work environment as positive as possible. I'm also going to try to keep calm and keep my chin up.

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  52. im really impressed with your attitude as you embark on this endeavor.
    Also thanks so much for your understanding towards me and Im sure Ill be supporting your shop in the future

    retro rover

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  53. Also I just cant imagine why anyone would respond negatively to the shop I can only imagine its jealousy: now you look fabulous, conquer obstacles galore, and have a lovely shop, basically you rock

    retro rover

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    1. That is fantastically sweet and encouraging to hear someone say to me, dear Kate, thank you deeply.

      Huge hugs,
      ♥ Jessica

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  54. Getting past the blues is tough, just remember to put more (or at least equal) weight on the positives as you do on the negatives, and I'm sure that will push you into the happy zone. I can't operate at all, let alone cheerfully, without enough sleep, so I hope you catch up on what you've lost!

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    1. That is wise, helpful advice, dear Tanith, thank you very much. The evening of the day that began to snap out of my funk, I got about twelve hours sleep, which is virtually unheard of for me (due to medical reasons), which helped a good deal and most nights have been decent on that front since.

      Huge hugs,
      ♥ Jessica

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  55. So very sorry to hear you are feeling blue. But I am not surprised to hear that you are taking it all in stride (no matter how difficult it is to ignore a mean-spirited individual). Please know that you are appreciated, and what you do brings joy to so many people.

    Wishing you much success – in whatever endeavors you choose!

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  56. I'm sorry to hear you've been going through this - some people clearly have not enough to do with their time, not to mention a monstrous sense of entitlement if they think they can tell you what they want you to do with your blog or shop. If they want a different blog or shop, let them go and start one!

    Usually I'd say it sounds like you need some tech-free time - I benefit from that enormously when I take a couple of days 'off' - but with a shop and regularly updated blog that must be difficult. Maybe spoil yourself with a nice hot bath and a big mug of cocoa?

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  57. Dear Jessica, I had no idea you were feeling so down. :::major e-hugs right now::: I truly understand what you are going through. Opening a shop is not only stressful, but the upkeep of it can really wear on a person. I'm pleased to hear you are refusing to let it get you down anymore and please let me know if you get to feeling this way and I'll be sure to pray and talk, or whatever to get you back to your old smiling and gleeful self.

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    1. That means the world to me, sweet Sean, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I will certainly confide in you if these sorts of feelings or other negative ones pertaining to the shop crop up again. I sincerely hope that they don't, but one never knows what kind of curveballs life has in store next, so they certainly could.

      I appreciate and am very blessed by your caringness and dear friendship.

      ♥ Jessica

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  58. I am so sorry to hear you've been feeling down. But I will say this: this post is wonderful because it is so honest. These posts are so insightful and personal and I feel honored that you shared such thoughts with us, your readers.

    I hope you feel better soon. You seem so very good at giving yourself pep talks.

    xoxo
    -Janey

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    1. Thank you deeply, dear Janey. It was a rocky few days for sure, but I can say with total sincerity that the storm has passed now and I feel not only better about the future of my Etsy shop, but about life in general. Not since our trip to Calgary last fall have I felt like I went through such a powerful personal transformation as I've been on this month. One never knows of course what tomorrow will bring, but I'm thoroughly optimistic and am certainly going to do I all I can to great the sort of future for my shop that I'm dreaming of having it achieve.

      Big hugs and many thanks again,
      ♥ Jessica

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  59. I literally cannot comprehend how there could be people taking issue over your choice to open a shop. I just can't fathom it.

    I wish you all the best and hope this period of what surely is unreality passes soon.

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  60. I'm really glad to hear you're feeling better. I can't imagine how stressful the shop launch was, plus keeping up with your blogging and, you know, living your life (!), so well done. There'll always be naysayers, so good for you for brushing them aside and keepin' on keepin' on.

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  61. Wow! I just discovered you a short while ago, and it is so ironic that I am the one who asked YOU for advice on MY shop! LOL

    Because we both understand chronic illness, we know doing a Fab job is the ONLY point... it validates that we are still the amazing Super Women, bracelets and all!

    Feed 'em Fish Heads! And Proceed with Confidence!

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    1. I am a little behind with your blog, and I don't think I can say anything that haven't already been said before. But this post made me so sad. I simply don't understand why anybody should have against you opening a shop!? I think it is a treat, that you spoil us, your fans.

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    2. I have to continue my comment, my bil's iPad is annoying. I think you really should do everything at your own pace, blog, update shop, send out orders. Not what you think we expect of you. Perhaps you should write that you ship within a week, then you have more time and won't get stressed. Perhaps you should blog fewer times a week, maybe just cutting away one post would make you feel better. I have a lot to update my shop with, but I break it up in several jobs. I collect everything I want to sell, take photos of it all on a sunny day, then I might prepare all the photos on an evening being home alone, and finally listing it all or mayby half of it on a day off from work. This way it isn't such a big job. Sending lots of love your way, dear. Please remember for each hater you have thousands of lovers. :)

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    3. Thank you very much for your caring, truly helpful comments, dear Sanne. The mirror much of what I'm quickly realizing I'm going to have to do. I adore my blog and have zero plans of giving it up or anything even close to that, but it unto itself was already a full time job for me, now with the shop, I have to scale back a touch and rebalance my time to devote a fair portion to each of these two spheres of my present world. I've started doing that, too, taking photos one day, sorting and editing (minor of course) another, uplisting on a third, sourcing pieces on a fourth, and so on. I'm finding that suddenly, in a way they probably haven't since I last held down a 9-5 (which would be in 2003), my weekends are becoming extremely important "breathers" from work to me again. I was being too hard on myself there initially and I know it. So much of this is new and I can't expect everything to flow like clockwork from the get-go. I have to pace myself better, remember to relax, and accept that I have to cut back in some areas.

      I will also definitely remember your wonderful words and truly feel blessed to have so many folks who love and support my endeavors.

      Endless hugs,
      ♥ Jessica

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  62. I couldn't agree more that we can choose happiness. Sometimes choosing to be happy and seeing the bright side of things is a harder choice but the rewards are so much greater too. I hope that the stress settles down to a manageable level and your shop blooms and grows. Good luck! XXX

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  63. Wow. Things never cease to amaze me!! You can open a dang shop if you want and don't forget it! I am so confused after reading this, I have sat here and tried to think of how this is even remotely someone's business, and how someone could turn it negative. Beats me! Just keep doing what you're doing! And happy Etsy-ing!

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  64. I've been reading your blog for quite a while but don't usually comment on blogs. I love Vintage-vintage clothes,jewelry, kitchen items, cookbooks, aprons & I could go on. Your blog is one of my favorites. I also have Fibromyalgia, etc. I can imagine what it must have taken for you to do all the work involved in setting up & running your shop. I think it's fantastic that you were able to fulfill a dream & wish you great success. As you know, the stress can cause many problems for you. I hope you can put aside the negative comments-I don't understand why anyone would be negative. It's a triumph for you. On many Fibro sites they talk about Fibro Warriors I think you are definitely a warrior. Anytime someone can triumph over Fibro & not allow it to stop them from realizing a dream is wonderful. I love the items I've seen in your shop & as soon as finances allow (maybe for my birthday next-I'll show it to my husband & give lots of hints!) I will be choosing something very special for myself. You know the drill-pace yourself, rest, reduce stress etc. All the things that are difficult in the real world. Don't let any negativity get to you. You have a wonderful blog & a great new endeavor. Read the comments from everyone supporting you(most of the comments I'm sure) & enjoy this. You are amazing! Sorry to go on so, but it really bothered me that some people feel the need to try to tear you down. Keep calm & count your spoons-make sure you have enough to accomplish your goals with the blog & shop. (Hope your familiar with the Spoon Theory-it's a good way to explain how you feel to people that don't understand) wishing you good luck with the shop, hope it's a big success. I can't wait until I can buy, now I'll keep looking at the beautiful items you have & keep dreaming.

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    1. Hello dear Deb, thank you from the bottom of my heart for your caring, supportive and truly lovely comment, my fellow spoonie (adore that theory and have been sharing it with everyone from doctors to relatives for many years now).

      There were a lot of factors at work that caused me to go into a bit of (very uncharacteristic for me) funk shortly after my shop opened. I didn't approach the endeavour (to open a shop) lightly or with illusions of grandeur in the slightest, but there were a few things that really sunk my spirits right out of the gate, as well as others that I quickly had to reexamine and change my views on. I'd hoped (beforehand and for the first few days of its life) that my blog could have really helped parlay my shop's success, but as I quickly learned, the two are going to be quite independent from each other, it would seem and I need to nurture, tend to, and grow both of them in different ways, with the other playing a supporting role at best in the success of the other (at least that's how things are going so far, we'll see how they continue to do in that regard as time goes on).

      It's absolutely true - and incredibly heartwarming - that the vast majority of comments I received, as well as most of my initial sales, were from caring, wonderful readers and online friends who had nothing but positive words to say. Their support, along with my husband's, and other factors such as simply telling myself to buck up on the double, certainly helped get me back to my usual chipper, Rome wasn't built in a day and I know it, happy to work my tail off for the sake of long term results self.

      Your upliftings, supportive, and understanding words truly mean a great deal to me. I know that your comment is one I will return to again in the future when I need a powerful pick-me-up and reminder that I'm on the right track with my shop.

      Sending countless gentle hugs & the happiest start of summer wishes your way,
      ♥ Jessica

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