November 12, 2013

I am authentic to my soul




Outfit details 

White crochet snood: Handmade gift from a dear online friend
1940s/50s floral print house dress: Bought from a vintage seller on Facebook
1950s Italian mosaic brooch: Yard sale find
Red cardigan: Gap
Caramel hued skinny belt: eBay
Yellow rose stretch bracelet: Thrifted (from Value Village)
1950s corduroy bucket purse: etsy seller Rue 23 Vintage Clothing
Brown leather wedge sandals: Yard sale find
Lip colour: MAC Russian Red


Photography by
Antonio Cangiano




















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By putting who we are out on the internet in any kind of capacity, we are opening ourselves up to uninvited scrutiny, criticism, and sometimes even rudeness (or worse, full on harassment). Sadly, there are no shortage of unkind, snarky, uncouth people in this world, and the fact that they can so often operate under the cover of anonymity online, doesn't help matters one iota either (unfortunately some people, when they think they their words can't be traced back to them, spew forth the nastiest statements imaginable and don't give a fig if they hurt someone in the process).
 
I've always felt exceptionally blessed to be a part of the online vintage community, where, by and large, kindness, sweetness and tons of positive folks (and their comments) abound. I also feel fortunate that, whether online or off, most of the comments I've received over the years about my vintage wardrobe and lifestyle have been wholly positive - some have even been so lovely and meaningful that they moved me to tears.
 
Most, if not all, of us who blog and/or wear vintage however, will run into unkind comments sometimes. I don't mean eyebrow raising, but ultimately harmless, comments of the type I discussed in this post a few months ago, I mean flat out vicious, misinformed, petty, or otherwise astronomically unmannerly comments that linger with you for a long time after they come your way (which, I cannot help but think, is often the perverse intended purpose behind them in the first place).
 
While I happily welcome blog comments from those with differing opinions, don't mind criticism if it's delivered with tact and friendliness, and don't of course expect everyone who finds my site to love it or me, I have zero tolerance when it comes to flat out mean, insulting, proactive (aka, the kinds of things internet trolls are tremendously fond of), or otherwise inappropriate comments, and do not let them through my screening process.
 
Occasionally though, a comment comes along that teeters on what I consider to be the edge of the two worlds. It's almost always delivered anonymously, and it usually unsettles me a great deal. So far this year I've received two such comments (far less, I know, than some of my fellow vintage bloggers receive, so I'm not getting hung up on the number at all and truly feel for those who have to fend off negative comments on a far more frequent basis), one of which landed on the post from last month about my first ever blogger meet-up.

Delivered by, huge surprise here, an anonymous poster, it read, "Enjoy your blog but have to be brutal and say you really don't manage to pull of a 1940s authentic look."

I know, believe me, I know what kind of strongly worded reply a comment like this stirs in your soul when you read it, but I've long learned when to pick my battles and when to take the high road, and I was more than happy to opt for the the lofty path with my reply.

"No need to worry about brutality, it's all good. For starters, I'm a die hard fan of the 40s and 50s alike, and dress frequently in pieces and styles from each, whether worn together or separately. This day, my outfit had a strong 50s spin to it.

I adore and love to celebrate the past with my wardrobe. Some days I go for a wholly period look, others I put my own spin on vintage attire. Some people prefer to always look exceptionally period appropriate 24/7, and that's awesome. Plenty of us vintage loving folks however, like to create looks that lean heavily on the past, but with our our unique, inspiring, beautiful spins on them.

Life is not a costume contest or akin to doing the costuming for a big budget movie - nor should anyone's vintage wardrobe feel that way, unless they want it to. Everyone puts their own stamp on vintage fashion, myself wholeheartedly included. My passion for the 40s and 50s is boundless and my desire to wear looks from, or that are inspired directly by these decades is limitless, too. If I don't look like page 283 of the Fall-Winter 1943 Sears catalog every day, that's as a-okay with me, as much as if I did. I dress in the way that makes me most happy in the moment, celebrating the past every step of the way, and in doing so am authentic to my own soul."


I could have cited example after example of highly authentic period specific outfits that I've worn over the years (complete with snaps) that dispel that statement in a flash, discussed how my health factors heavily into my wardrobe choices (a topic discussed at length in this post), how wearing a wig due to hair loss limits my hairstyling options, or how I've always been far too eclectic a person to stick to just a small number of looks or garments from a certain era day in and day out, but I don't have to justify my wardrobe choices to this unknown stranger, or for that matter, to anyone on the face of the planet - and neither do you.

I'm not sharing this person's comment with all of you here today as a way of singling them out in a negative way. Not at all. Their words were a catalyst for a blog post, as a good many blog comments I've received over the years have been. As harsh as what they said might sound, it is, in a rather round about way, a compliment of sorts, because it drives home the fact that I have a unique, highly personalized take on wearing vintage that sometimes goes full on period appropriate, but at other times is a variation on the past that brings me great joy to sport.

One of the things, as I touched on in my reply, that I adore so very much about the vintage fashion community is that many of us put our own unique, fabulously creative stamp on the way that we wear yesteryear styles. We take strong inspiration from the past, combine it with various other loves, our mood, our favourite colours and fabrics, and myriad other things to create a sartorial voice all our own. This is brilliant and beautiful, empowering and endlessly encouraging.

The photos above, for example, show an outfit that is heavily influenced by the 40s, but I didn't set out to look exactly like I stepped out out of a period photo. I just tossed together an ensemble for a day of bopping around Penticton and Osoyoos with my darling husband that included a fairly new to me vintage house dress (that really, really needs to have some of its - I kid you not - eight inch hem let down; it's considerably shorter than I like my hemlines to be, but that day was quite toasty so, it worked in the moment), a 1940s style snood that a dear online friend made for me, a vintage appropriate cardigan, and a selection of complimentary accessories.

This outfit is extremely typical of my personal style. You've seen dozens like it over the years and will continue to see plenty more akin to it in the future. Each will likely be a bit different - combine new and old pieces in my wardrobe, fit and celebrate the seasons, be filled with garments and accessories that I truly love (many with great stories behind them), and which work my current circumstances and lifestyle.

I don't dress to please anyone but myself, nor do I care what people think of my style. It took me a long time to reach a point in my life where such was the case, but once I did, it was like hitting a state of fashion nirvana. Free from other peoples' judgment and opinions, I could embrace my style in a whole new way and rock whatever I wanted to sport just about 24/7 (yes, there are those few rare days where circumstances dictate I dress in a certain way that isn't perhaps my first choice, but thankfully they are exceedingly few and far between).

My vintage style is me, and I am my vintage style. We're intertwined, lifelong friends and we answer to no one, nor do we have to explain our choices, motivations, or fashion fueled desires, unless we want to. I am unendingly happy with the way I dress and how I bring my passion for the past to life with my wardrobe choices.

I am, as I told that random commenter, authentic to my soul (just as many of you are to yours as well), and that's all that matters. Sometime that, sadly, I suspect many people who cower behind online invisibility and forget the importance of Thumper's rule, will never fully understand.








115 comments:

  1. Oh jeepers, the things people will say!

    One of the things I enjoy about the vintage community is the willingness to do something a bit out of the mainstream without being torn apart for not conforming. Hopefully the people who post these comments are just young, and haven't acquired the emotional maturity required for doing your own thing. At any rate, you were kinder than I would have been, as I don't feel I owe anonymous snarky posters a response.

    You can look at your site traffic, and see how many people visit each day and don't leave nasty comments...because we love coming here to see what you're doing.





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  2. I am so glad to see you back on your computer.
    You are always inpiring and beautiful not only with the clothes you wear, but with the wonderful words, and thoughts.
    XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

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  3. I adore your response to such a negative-for-no-reason comment. Good for you for handling that gracefully, thoughtfully, and honestly.

    I'm also loving your brooch placement. My mom and I were JUST talking about how much we like to wear them in the center the last time I saw her. The ruffles on that dress are great, too - you look fantastic as always!

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  4. I totally agree with you on being authentic to yourself. I dress in vintage pieces to show a bit of myself not to try and be like someone else. You are an inspiration for me and one of the things that really draws me to you is that I feel like I can see you in your style.

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  5. Touché, Jessica, touché with that brilliant reply! You are so hearfelt in everything you say, I really admire your ability to get your point across in a way that expresses your feelings honestly and acknowledges at the same time that everyone's entitled to their opinion. You're a very understanding person, I'm not sure my reply would have been as calm or as well thought out. I think Goody's point above about a lot of people enjoying the vintage community's acceptance of non-conformity is a very valid one, as I think I've noticed a bit of a shift recently with some seeming to compete to get the perfect stepped-out-of-time look, with a bit of looking down their noses at those who like to mix it up a bit more.

    Your outfit is drop-dead gorgeous, as always. It's a good thing we don't live in the same city as if I passed you I'd have to gush for a while each time I saw you.

    You're quite a lady!
    P x

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    1. Thank you deeply, Porcelina. I too have noticed a certain elitism amongst a small percentage of vintage wearers and that's a camp I'll never count myself as being a part of. I think that everyone is equally entitled to wear vintage in whichever way makes them happy. If you want to go full on period appropriate right down to the buckles on your shoes 24.7, that's awesome, but so is every other degree and variation of vintage attire out there. Live and let live, I say, and in the process, compliment and be nice to others for having their own fantastic style voice.

      You're so sweet! I wish we lived nearby and could pass one another on the street. It would be a blast to hang out out with you, chat vintage, poke around each other's closets, and just have a merry old time together.

      ♥ Jessica

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  6. I'm seen human misbehavior in many fields (e.g., motorcycling, law, fashion blogging) but I've never seen it in vintage fashion. What surprises me is how similar rudeness here is to rudeness elsewhere -- and how the smartest way to respond is by rising above it. The same principles apply wherever meanness rears its head.

    I'm sorry you've received bad comments. You don't deserve them and I can't imagine the illness a person would have to have to inflict them on you. Usually jealousy is behind most such remarks and venom comes from the writer's insecurity. Because you are one of the most successful bloggers in your field, you become a target for the pathetic non-achievers who resent you.

    The biggest observation I make about this phenomenon is that expressions of meanness reflect on the maker, not the subject. You are not responsible for their conduct. Naturally, being targeted hurts -- I felt it too when one blog commenter criticized my feet as too masculine and another said no one should marry a weirdo like me -- but we need to shrug off those attacks and realize the only person being revealed by them is their maker. We can trust feedback from our friends but we need not give any weight to the remarks of anonymous strangers on the Internet.

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  7. I always wonder if harsh words or bullying can be done through a hint of jealousy. You look wonderful as always, and I'm sure people in the 40s wore things from the 30s and likewise people in the 50s wore earlier pieces afterall make do and mend, hugs and kisses ally, honeypotcreations.blogspot.co.uk

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    1. In many case, I highly suspect that there is indeed just such a note behind these kinds of comments, dear Alison, you really the nail on the head there. You bet! I've asked numerous elderly folks in my life (including both of my grandmas) about that very point, and everyone has confirmed that they did indeed sometimes wear pieces from one decade into the next (sometimes revamping them to make them more in line with the styles of the day, other times just leaving them as is, especially if they were really classic pieces).

      Big hugs right back at you!
      ♥ Jessica

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  8. This post was amazingly insightful into how people really can't think before they speak. I'm not sure if it was meant to be a slight on you or just a comment that wasn't thought out thoroughly, either way they avenue you took was better than most people would have taken.

    I absolutely love your comment "I don't have to justify my wardrobe choices to this unknown stranger, or for that matter, to anyone on the face of the planet - and neither do you..." YES!!! I don't know how long I've really just wanted to say that but couldn't have said it better than you did. It isn't a necessary to explain away every negative comment by why we do what we do in the way of loving vintage. It's our choice and it it's not what they like, fine. :-)

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    1. Thank you very much, my sweet friend. I've been sensing that a fair number of us in the vintage world have wanted to say that (sentiment) for quite some time now and am so happy that this unknown person's comment - whether it was a slight intended to hurt me or not - was just the catalyst I needed to speak up on behalf of all those who've been wanting to put it down on (virtual) paper. It's message that needs to be spread and repeated often.

      ♥ Jessica

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  9. Again and again you have been an inspiration to other gals all over the world with your ensembles, your unfailing good taste and your sweet commtents – and this post is certainly no exception...!

    In the Powder Room of the Fedora Lounge there is a section called something like: "Comments you get when you dress vintage". It contains the rudest, funniest, sweetest and most creative comments made in the most increble situations you can imagine.

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    1. Thank you deeply, dear Jannie, that means a great deal to me.

      Ooooh, now there's a thread I could toss several gems (good, bad and otherwise) onto, I'm sure. I'm uber shy (you might now know it from my blog, but I really, really am) and usually don't join forums because of my shyness, but I have enjoyed reading various threads on the Fedora Lounge when Google searches have led me to them over the years.

      Thank you again very much,
      ♥ Jessica

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  10. I am so glad you dress to please yourself, you have such a lovely style that always inspires me. Thank you for being unique. And I didnt know either we had a vintage dress competition going on. I see lots of girls on the internet wearing petticoat, high heels and red lipstick claiming to be vintage. I would never dream about saying rude things to them. It is their way of vintage, but vintage is not solely pinups in high heels and therefore I love your personal style and clever writing so much. Btw vintage style is also to have good manners, perhaps the commenter should have known that.

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  11. You look great, as always, and I love your ladylike answer to that comment!

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  12. It is a shame people can be so ugly and rude especially when they feel that it can't be tracked back to them. Words sting no matter how much you you don't want to let them in, they still hurt. About 15 years ago I dressed up with some friends and went out. A total stranger came up to me and said, "I love that dress, but next time you should eat a cheese burger and not throw it up." Then she walked off. I have always been thin, I have never had an eating disorder, and I have always been very sensitive to teasing about my weight. Still 15 years later that comment stings! People are mean sometimes! So sorry you are dealing with these bullies. You are a beautiful and sweet person, and you handled the situation with grace.

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  13. So sorry that happened to you! Your outfits are fabulous, and definitely an inspiration to me, as well as an authentic expression of your own style and sense of things. Wear what makes you feel good, I say, and toss the rest.

    As an aside--8" hem!! That is crazy. At least it gives you a lot to play with. If you have trouble getting the crease out, try spritzing with vinegar and using a heavy steam setting on your iron. Sounds nuts, but it really does work!

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  14. There are some horrible people out there, I know from experience. And like you, I am lucky that I haven't been approached negative by people alot. Just once or twice. One time I can remember quite well; it was a woman that was just plain saying that I was fat and ugly with floppy tits. I don't mind criticism if I can learn from it but this was just to cause some fuzz and definitely meant to hurt me. And I was hurt by it but then I approached it different; perhaps she was just jealous! And jealousy can make people do some aweful things.

    But beside that mentioned situation, and some eyebrow raising and giggling on the street by 15 y/o girls (usually it's always girls), I have never been really approached in a negative way. I am glas cause I don't really have an elephant skin.

    What I like, no .. love, about you is that you are yóu! You have created your own style of which I can see the 1940s and 1950s shine through absolutely. Do continue the way you go, please, cause you do it splendidly! You are not only beautiful from the outside but, from what I know of you through the internet, also from the inside and that radiates through your reply on the 'brutal comment'.

    Big hug for you!

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    1. My sweet friend, thank you so tremendously much for your beautiful, reassuring words. I am, with all my heart, sorry that you've been the butt of some completely awful comments before, too. My goodness, to think that that lady went so far as to even mention your breasts. I think I would have been gobsmacked if that happened to me in person. I'm sure you handled the situation with class and elegance - the complete opposite to her uncouth words and actions. You are so beautiful and inspiring in every way, and I hope dearly that no one ever dares to say another unkind word against you ever again.

      Tons of hugs coming right back at you!
      ♥ Jessica

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  15. I wish I could leave you a video comment, because I just gave you a standing ovation.

    My style drastically changed in 2009. I shouldn't say changed, because the underlying current was always there, I just finally let it come to the surface and sweep me away. Once I started dressing for myself, the confidence and compliments followed. Being true to yourself without worry of ridicule is liberating. I wish everyone would experience it. Just wear what makes you happy, do what makes you happy, and stop worrying what others think. It is your life, live it!

    Cheers!
    Rebecca Jean

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    1. Thank you so much, dear Rebecca Jean, your comment warmed my heart and made me smile to no end. I would happily return the standing ovation in your direction 24/7. Your style is resplendent! It's fresh, fun, gorgeous, creative, and flat out inspiring. Since we discovered each others' blogs this year, I've swooned over every single outfit you've post and am certain I will continue to you in the future. It's awesome that you've reached the "just do what makes you happy" point in your life, too. It truly shines through on your blog and through your fabulous outfits.

      ♥ Jessica

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  16. Ain't no excuse for being rude like that.

    Unfortunately the ones with whom those sorts of rude comments resonate most are introspective, thoughtful people. I'm glad you made a lovely blog post to share with us out of it, and that we got to learn more about you, and your personal style in the process.

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  17. Our ever so gracious Jessica! It's always a pleasure to visit...to see your treasures, and to read nostalgic snippets of an earlier era. You write with wit and sincerity, and the authentic You always shines through.

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  18. Oh my goodness, this might be my favourite outfit that you've posted this fall. I love the bright, fun primary colours, especially that yellow bracelet! Just totally sweet and wonderful. And the lipstick looks FANTASTIC on you.

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    1. Thank you very much, my dear! These hues are some of my favourite of all-time to wear. I love how they pop so vividly against my fair skin, while waking up said complexion a bit in the process. Thank you! That lippy would be my beloved Russian Red from MAC. It's my favourite red lipstick of all time.

      ♥ Jessica

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  19. Okay, I won't lie. This post almost brought me to tears. I've faced a lot of negative comments over the course of my blog, and often opt to just ignore them. But your comment was fantastic and has inspired me to a degree of replying to (god forbid) future comments of that nature.

    Furthermore, stating that "life isn't a costume contest" really made me happy. I never thought about it that way. And lately I have been suffering from a competitive nature with vintage, and it's resulted in less than happy days. While your statement may have been obvious, it, well, actually this entire post, is exactly what I needed to hear this morning. What a great pep talk!

    Thank you.

    xoxo
    -Janey

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    1. You are wholeheartedly welcome, dear Janey. I know precisely what you mean about encountering just what you needed to hear at the right moment, even if you may not have realized how very much you needed it until right then and there. I'm truly touched and happy to know that this post was just that for you, my sweet friend.

      ♥ Jessica

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  20. How terrible! I will never understand how people can be so mean on the internet, but I suppose the feeling of anonymity makes people more inclined to be nasty (something I actually just learned in my Psych class). The whole period perfect thing is funny to me. You are never going to be perfect because hello, its not 1942, it's 2013! (no matter how much we may wish it was the 40's). I love my vintage clothing pieces, but I don't even attempt to look like a vintage Sears Catalog on days when I wear my vintage pieces. Currently I'm at University sitting in the lounge wearing skinny jeans, Minnetonkas and a huge oversized sweater I bought at Old Navy last year. I don't feel bad though because what I share in my blog is what I want to share, and I never made any promises to anyone about being perfect. Plus wearing heels, nylons, and a dress would probably hinder my ability to make it to class on time, especially in the winter. We all have our reasons for what we do, and people should respect that. I hope they learn their comment was not kind or necessary.

    P.S. Jessica- I found the most divinely perfect Princess coat recently at a local vintage shop. It's raspberry colored with lovely fur cuffs and a deep fur collar. I was in love. It just barely fit, but I bought it anyway (plus it was less than $100!). I got home and immediately regretted my decision because I realized I would probably need to wear a sweater under it, and it won't button when I wear a sweater. So, I found one, but I will probably have to sell it. Oh well, I am entirely confident I will find another! :)

    Abbi

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    1. Excellently said, dear Abbi. That is such a great point - this isn't 1942 (or whatever year one wants to pick in the past). It's today, the end of 2013, and there isn't a thing in the world wrong with that. It might not be our "ultimate" year if we had a time machine, but it's what we've got and we should be grateful for it and that we get to rock whatever kind of look we want right here and now.

      Oh no! I've been there with coats before and know how frustrating it can be, honey. Winter coats are often very hard to alter if you want to make them a little larger, so going that rote is probably not even worth pondering. I know it's frustrating, but hang in there. I wholeheartedly believe that you perfect coat is out there just waiting for you.

      ♥ Jessica

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  21. I think it is important to point out that no where on your site does it indicate that all of your outfits are guaranteed 100% authentic to the 1940's. Expecting it to be so is just plain silly.

    It is sad how small remarks made can cut deep to create areas of self doubt.

    I had someone comment that I was too old to be wearing a cardigan that has poodles on it. What? Whatever. But it did make the ageist inside me come out and wonder if in fact I was. I haven't worn that piece since and am seriously thinking about taking it to the consignment store. It is stupid though because I wore it all the time before the comment and never thought twice about it.

    You're not expected to be anyone but yourself. People can love it or lump it. You're not forcing them to read your blog. As you wrote you don't need to justify your wardrobe choices to anyone.

    Honesty and sincerity are the best qualities you can bring to blogging. Seems to me you're doing a good job of that already.

    PS…after addressing all that other crap I must tell you I love your outfit! So colourful and full of joy : )

    bisous
    Suzanne

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    1. Hi Suzanne, I was checking out the comments and saw yours. I do not think that you should get rid of your poodle sweater! What does it matter what other people think? Did you like wearing that sweater? Did it make you feel cute? Obviously it did since you wore it all the time. Please do not let others make you question yourself. I am constantly told that I am too old to wear Van's...do I let that stop me? NO! I am sure that you look awesome in that cardigan. Ruff!!

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  22. Very well said! I think the joy of the vintage blogging world is to see how everyone puts their own unique twist on historical looks- sometimes authentic, sometimes inspired by. Its snobbish (and dare I say lame!) to single out people who choose to not dress authentic to a period all the time. As you said, this isn't a costume contest, its our daily lives and -personal- style

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  23. You should be very proud of yourself! x

    fashionistainthedark.blogspot.com

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  24. I just found your blog and very much admire your courage to be a non-conformist - and of course your wonderful style.

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    1. I'm delighted that you found Chronically Vintage, Catherine, thank you very much for your thoroughly lovely comment.

      ♥ Jessica

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  25. You are a beautiful lady, Jessica, inside and out. And your outfits are gorgeous. I was thinking as I read this blog post, "Don't people naturally mix decades in their clothing choices regularly?" and also "This commenter was obviously jealous and/or insecure to make such a statement".

    I applaud you for responding with your usual grace. And for the record, I LOVE the outfit in this post! You always look fabulous.

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  26. I just found you through Janey at Atomic Redheads blog. I am a lurker and don't usually post comments to blogs, but I felt the need to do so today. I am so impressed by your response to a person who I am sure was expecting you to be upset and angry. You responded with such class! I, like you, have my own "style" if you can call it that as I usually just add vintage accessories. You have inspired me to make a small leap and bump up my vintage factor by wearing bright red lipstick among my nude lipstick wearing friends. I know that it does not sound like much, but for this close to 50 gal it is a big step. You are lovely!

    Thank you so much,

    Kelley

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    1. Hi Kelley, thank you very much for your wonderfully lovely comment. It always touches me heart when a reader "unlurks" for the first time, and it moves me even more to know that I've helped you to want to further your own vintage factor up a notch. Thank you!!! Red lipstick is the absolute bee's knees. You might find it takes a few shades to find a fantastic one for your skin and hair colouring (it took me years to find my gem: MAC's Russian Red), but once you do, oh my goodness, it's cosmetic heaven! :)

      ♥ Jessica

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  27. That poster is a troll. First of all, it's not the 1940s! Even in the 1940s, clothing varied depending on a woman's social class and where she lived, and fashions changed between the early and late 1940s. I may not have lived through that era, but I know a little bit from talking to my grandmothers. My working-class British grandmother had very few clothes due to war rationing and had to get married in a drab utility suit. My Canadian grandmother was a bit better off, but she says that the average woman had a much smaller wardrobe and often had to make things last for several seasons or alter old clothes rather than buying new ones. Owning an "authentic" 1940s wardrobe would make your blog very repetitive indeed!

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    1. Thank you very much for your terrific comment, Kim. In my discussions with elderly family members, friends and other venerable folks I've known over the years, I have heard much the same points that you so wonderfully brought up. Then, as now, while certain looks (and garments) were more common, everyone did not dress exactly alike, and many folks wore the same (small to moderate number of) pieces for years (quite literally until they were falling apart). We - as a society - could all do well to take a cue from generations past on that front, instead of filling our closets with the mass produced throwaway garments of today.

      ♥ Jessica

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  28. Hello my lovely! Wow...what a poignant post, and ever word so well written, it touches me deep down inside. I too have fallen victim to unkind, harsh words by cowardly commentators who choose to hide behind anonymity. But if there is one truth I firmly believe in, and which I teach my children all the time it's this: Just because someone says something, does not make it so. And this saves my heart every time. I do not have to let someone else's opinion of me, influence the way I think about myself. I wholeheartedly agree with every word you've shared, and the fact that so many draw inspiration from your blog, your style, and your life, should silence all those negative tongues that speak so foolishly out of turn. To me, you are simply fabulous, because you are true to you, and one of a kind! I was harshly critiqued by an anonymous writer once, in fact, it was rather crude and distasteful, and it turned out to be one of my closest friends! Someone I knew! But, it was rather more a reflection on them, more than me. It has taught me how to deal with trivial comments, and I will take real, constructive criticism on board when it's due. As for sheer vindictive drivel, I ignore it. Keep up the wonderful style, writing and inspiration! Much love, Tania x

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    1. Thank you deeply, sweet Tania. It nearly brought tears to my eyes when you said that you are teaching that truly vital lesson to your children. The world needs countless more parents out there doing the same thing. Should I ever be blessed with wee ones of my own, I will follow your lead there completely.

      That must have stung deeply. I'm very sorry that a "friend" would have the audacity to say something like that. I hope dearly that you never run into another situation like that again. You are - and I wholeheartedly mean this - one of the most incredibly talented, beautiful, creative, lovely people I've ever had the great pleasure of knowing. It's unfathomable to think anyone would have an unkind word to say about you.

      ♥ Jessica

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  29. People I know are often surprised when they ask what period I would most like to live in and my response is: "Right now". They always think I'm going to say 1950s or some time else. But the truth is that I love being able to pick and choose from different periods and make up my own style, as you do. I love having the whole realm of the past from which to pick my clothes, my jewellery, my music, my films, my buildings, my furniture... and I could go on. I am so not "vintage authentic" at all, but the only place and time that should maybe matter is at a costume party! In fact, it was only when other people started calling my wardrobe vintage that I adopted that term as it was easier and it seemed to suit others! I've always seen myself as a second-hand girl (who has just happened to get lucky with a few special, authentic vintage items).

    And you, my girl, have an awesome, individual style and it's just unfortunate that some people don't get that or your inspiration or that your own personal touch is, it must be said, more creative and interesting than trying to ape one period exactly. At least, if you're comfortable and feel authentic to your own soul, you can fight unfriendly comments off far more easily.

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  30. I just don't understand why people need to be rude to other people. Especially anonymously on the internet, I just don't understand it. Really why? Does it feel goed to put someone else down? Is it jealousy or insecurity? Are they too scared to express their opinion in real live? Why do some people think we are waiting on their rude opinions?

    Criticism is ok, but it can be formulated in a respectful way, there is no need to be rude.

    Live and let live.

    ( I also wanted to reply to your answer on the eye brow question), but I think this is similar)

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  31. That was a very rude comment. But you handled it with grace and poise and those are the qualities, among many other beautiful ones, which bring me back to read your blog.

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  32. It's amazing how people are much more comfortable in saying things that are both tactless and rude online. It's like they have an invisible barrier they feel they can hide their unkindness behind.

    I think your reply is wonderful and spot on. I especially think your comment about "don't dress to please anyone but myself" rings so very true. Especially with me. Regardless of if you dress in full vintage, a combination of eras or mixing it with modern… dress in a way that you're comfortable with and if anyone has an "issue" with that. Let them. That's their problem.

    I think you always look absolutely smashing!
    xo

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    1. Thank you so very much, my sweet friend. I completely agree, it never ceases to amaze me what some people will say under the cloak of anonymity (or even, at times, with their real name). I rarely get hurt or upset by such comments any more, I just tend to feel sorry for the person who left them and wish instead we could have had a lovely conversation (about vintage fashion or most any other topic) instead.

      ♥ Jessica

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  33. My dear blogging sister - you are unique, beautiful and always adorable in whatever outfit/period you choose each day. I enjoy seeing these reminders of times past and wondering how we all got so far off the path and onto the less patient, inconsiderate track we now seem to run on! It's sad. Anyway, I love it when I pop over for a visit (which has been way too long and I apologize) and get whisked back into time when people seemed to care more about one another. I will always love you for those special gifts your posts send our way each and every day!
    Hugs always my sweet blogging sister!
    Beth P

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  34. Good for you lovely! I think you always look wonderful and you are such a sweetie even in the face of such a ridiculous comment. You certainly do pull it off and you carry on being flippin' fabulous. xxx

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  35. Yes, you are true to yourself and that's all that matters. No where can I remember you ever saying that you were trying to achieve an "authentic 1940's" look anyway. You have always been completely transparent about all your various sources of clothes and accessories and we all take great joy in the way you put your outfits together...anyway, I am sure that just as today, mid-century girls weren't cardboard cut outs and they all had their own ideas and looks just like we do. They were real people, after all! Personally I delight in your styling - your pictures often brighten days when I am struggling and I am sure many other readers feel the same. I think I know why criticism sometimes comes the way of successful bloggers (a very accomplished sewing friend has had some extremely vitriolic comments on her site, to the extent that it spoiled her joy in blogging and sharing for a while) - it's jealousy through and through. Don't take any notice - keep being yourself, because that's why we love you! X

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    1. Thank you deeply, dear Philippa. Precisely, I suppose - rude as it would still be - that person might have a bit of a leg to stand on if I was claiming that every last thing I wore was spot on period perfect 1940s attire, but I've never said such a thing and never will. I love my style, how it weaves the 40s and 50s together, that it's made up of items from so many sources, that I can blend old with new in the same look, and that I get to dress up and celebrate life with my wardrobe choices everyday. This makes me happy - always has, always will - and it's a true shame that there some folks out there who just can't seem to grasp this or feel it themselves.

      ♥ Jessica

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  36. Hi Jessica
    I'm a long time reader but a first time commenter and feel the need to say that a HUGE part of the reason I read your blog is because I love that you have your own vintage style. It shows off your creativity and unique sense of style. I love that I see your outfits and often think "wow I'd have never thought of that combination, and it looks awesome". You are inspiring and amazing - don't stop!

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    1. Hello sweet Claire, thank you very much for your first ever comment here, it is a truly thoughtful, touching one and I'm so happy that you shared it with me. Thank you as well for being a long time reader, I appreciate it to no end.

      ♥ Jessica

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  37. Sod em, if you ain't got anything nice to say as thumper says! You are lovely sweet and always make me smile your posts are informative without being condescending and you always look wonderful. I love the laid back look you have today, pretty but relaxed, Chin up and carry on regardless lovely gal xxx

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  38. Jessica - Well done. I know you don't need anyone else to tell you how great that response was, but I'm going to add my voice to the rest of the comments. Your response was well thought out, intelligent, and far kinder than the comment deserved. If more people in the world in general took the time to respond in a similar way to the negativity of some individuals the world would be a brighter, more positive place. Thank you for helping demonstrate that so beautifully.
    Your blog in general, is one of my favorites. I love your stories, your positive attitude in the face of hardship and criticism, your obvious love of your husband, your intelligent writing - just everything. Thank you.
    With regard to your pictures today: I absolutely love the color combination you chose for the outfits in this post. Your pictures make me happy.

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    1. My dear Tess, thank you so much for your absolutely touching, uplifting, beautiful comment (and compliments). It means a great deal to me to know that you "get" me and my blog so very much. The fact that you can sense my love for my darling husband as well, especially moved me. Your comment will brighten my days for a long time to come. Thank you again from the bottom of my heart.

      ♥ Jessica

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  39. Oh, dearest Jessica ... I wish I could speak your language very easily to express all that I feel about this post. There are many people coward who only enjoy hurting other people ... I hate that! You are genuine and true to yourself (only), you do not need to prove anything to anyone, not be perfect in your style because you are perfect as a human being with rights and wrongs. And this fact is clearly demonstrated in the wonderful response you gave to that (negligible) troll. Lot of kisses, my dear Jessica, please ... never change.

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    1. My very dear friend, your thoughts and heartfelt words shine through perfectly in your comment, please don't worry for a moment there. I am moved by them and want you to know how very much they mean to me, especially coming from a style maven - and incredibly talented seamstress - like yourself you has such a keen eye for fashion and incredible vintage filled look all there own.

      So very many hugs,
      ♥ Jessica

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  40. People can be quite rude. A totAlly head to toe vintage look is very hard to pull off and 4 me with work and pets impractical. None of us are actually living in the past and really thank goodness because modern life has some big upsides. U loon beautiful unique and true to yourself and that's what matters
    Urban hounds

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  41. Lovely Jessica, I am not the least bit surprised you took the high road in your response to the anonymous poster.

    Shakespeare had it right when he wrote, "To thine own self be true." :)

    Hugs,

    Kymberlee

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    1. Thank you so very much. Spot on perfect quote for this topic, dear Kymberlee, thank you for sharing the Bard's wisdom with us today. That man certain know how to hit the nail right on the head and goodness, was he right there. It's so incredibly important to always be true to oneself in all aspects of life.

      ♥ Jessica

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  42. I am yet to have a nasty comment on my blog. I am terrified of the inevitable day when it does come. But when it does I hope I can deal with it with the grace and dignity that you have here.
    You are beautiful and inspiring and the nasty person who offered such unnecessary criticism was lucky you even bothered to respond. Xxx

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  43. I don't know which one is worse: a nasty comment or a creepy one. I've yet to receive a nasty comment, but I think they're rather similar - both delivered without hesitation because they can hide behind their computers. I dare them to say those things in person!! Does it matter if you look authentic or whether or not you suit the era? Aren't we all here to just show our love of vintage? WE DO NOT LIVE IN THE PAST NOR WE CLAIM TO BE TRANSPORTED THROUGH A PORTAL FROM THE PAST! Shut your trap, nasties!

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  44. Dearest Jessica, you are the most warm-hearted blogger I've ever encountered and I'm so sorry that you've had to deal with negative feedback. I'm glad to see that you are surrounded by bloggers who love what you do and I couldn't imagine this community without your shinning light. When I first read the comment of this blogger, I was taken aback. So rude. You are at a higher level as you always take the high path and you have this marvelous gift of saying the right thing. Gosh, I have no idea how I would have responded. I know how it can hurt your heart to think how these people can be so thoughtless! An experience I once had on ebay left me in a terrible state where I couldn't believe the unnecessary profanity laced language. It can be difficult when to not take it personally. I kept thinking how could someone think like this, it is (was) quite sad. I should have reported the guy but I just wanted to move forward. I think if there is one learning effect from this is the yin and yang effect that it also brings into perspective all of the lives you touch in positive ways and the memorable impact you make on our lives. I so enjoy your perspective on life and hearing your thoughts. I also wanted to say that before I read your thoughts on being authentic, I was thinking how moving your photographs were today. There is a certain softness and care to them. I very much see Tony's artistic eye capturing your authentic soul:) Cheers to being "you" dear Jessica!

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    1. Sweetest Joanna, thank you so very much for your uplifting and tremendously lovely comment. I sincerely feel that you have a graceful, marvelous way with words and am certain that, if you opted to reply to such an uncouth individual, you would have delivered a highly tactful reply as well.

      I am so sorry that you ran into a person like on eBay before. I've encountered a small number of very unprofessional, rude folks there over the years, too. Thankfully though, much as in the blogging world, they've been the absolute minority.

      That is so beautiful, thank you. I know your compliment will warm Tony's heart, just as it did mine (and he could really use it today, after a less than fun medical exam that he had).

      Tons of hugs always,
      ♥ Jessica

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  45. I just posted a big old comment and forgot to choose the right selection from the dropdown. :( The short version is that the idea that someone says some nasty sh** to you really p*sses me off (sorry, but sometimes swearing is necessary). My head is pounding, it's been a long week (and it's not over yet), and I come home to see this fantastic outfit post only to find that it's tempered with some examples of online bullying. I will happily Rosie Rivet their mouthes shut. *expletive deleted*

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    1. Thank you for your support, dear Katie. I'm sorry that this rather unkind comment got under your skin. It never ceases to amaze me just what a stranger will have the gall to say, with seemingly no regard for who it may hurt on the other end, when they can hide behind a curtain of nameless unanimity. Here's to the hope that this is the last such comment that ever comes mine - or any of our - way.

      ♥ Jessica

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    2. As crappy as that person is, the bottom line - and I think this is the bottom line in a lot of cases like this - is that THAT person is jealous of you. People like that have to put people down in order to make themselves feel better. Whoever they are, they probably lose sleep over not getting their Revlon Red lips perfectly outlined, while you have an effortless and easy style and a LOT of people who dig the way you look and the way you write. They can take a flying leap. Ugh. */end rant*

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    3. That's a very real possibility, Katie, I agree. And you know, it's a bit of a heartbreaking one at the same time, because I'd very happily offer pointers on anything related to vintage fashion and style that anybody might want to chat about (which I could help with - no body knows everything, of course) - or just shoot the breeze as chums instead. No need for jealously - I don't have any state secrets when it comes to my looks. Just ask and I'll tell, if one is after a similar look or wants to incorporate some of my styling techniques into their own wardrobe.

      ♥ Jessica

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  46. Jessica, this is a marvelous post. You write so beautifully, and I think your reply to that (of COURSE) anonymous commenter was absolutely perfect. I've been lucky enough to not receive many mean comments on my blog (this may be because I don't allow anonymous comments, honestly!), but I remember when I found my blog on GOMI (Get Off My Internets, if you aren't familiar) under a thread that is entitled "Nobody bloggers who annoy you"... my face got hot and I'm sure I shed at least a tear or two. The fact that people have so much time on their hands to devote to tearing people down via the internet is unfathomable to me. And when you care so much about the content you put out there and the process of blogging, it's incredibly difficult to not take that to heart. I admire you for remaining so cool under pressure. Just keep being the beautiful, inspiring and stylish lady you are! And you said it best -- we dress to make ourselves happy, not to please anyone else!!

    xox Sammi
    www.thesoubrettebrunette.blogspot.com

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  47. Oh this outfit is stunning - love love the red and teal! Such a striking combination! Perhaps my favourite! People say the silliest things. :/

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  48. What a silly thing to say! I am not interested in following blogs that are obsessed over dressing "authentic", I find it very boring when people are over the top with period accuracy. I love that your outfits are so wearable and real, and appropriate for everyday wear!
    These photos are especially gorgeous :3

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  49. Those that 'can't' snark, bitch, moan and snigger. It all boils down to an inner jealousy that manifests itself by a little comment here and there...desperate to point out *something* that they can pick on you for. I have learnt to take all snipe-y comments as a compliment because deep down they think I'm drop dead wonderful and they just can't take it. Be happy dear Jessica! <3

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  50. Beautifully put, although I am hardly surprised that you respond to snarky (one of my favorite words, by the way) comments with class and intelligence.

    Clothing/fashion/style is supposed to be fun. And if someone wants to wear a 1930s gown with a 40s tilt hat and some crazy 70s platforms with Gibson Girl hair, more power to them. I feel like anything goes these days, which makes getting dressed so much more exciting. Endless options and creative pairings are so interesting – I love me some classic vintage, but am always amazed by the amazing combinations people come up with!

    Have fun playing dress up!

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    1. Thank you very much, dear Laura Mae. I could not agree more, there are endless options and creative pairings out there, and we're blessed to live an era where we're free to wear and come up with however many we want. The sky is the limit, so why cap yourself and your creative potential needlessly?

      ♥ Jessica

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  51. Yay Jess! You responded in an utterly un-snarky and completely lady-like way! I cannot stand when people say such awful things, and like you mentioned, surprise,surprise, anonymously! I completely abide by the old rule, "If you can't say something nice then don't say it at all!" And I am a completely sarcastic person; kind of a family trait unfortunately. But being sarcastic/silly/funny/whatever, does not mean you have to be rude! Ugh!
    I am not a person who wears vintage 24/7, but rather, much like you, I like to wear what inspires me or what I love. And that usually does include some sort of vintage or vintage inspired piece. But really, what matters is what you wrote, wearing what makes YOU happy and makes YOU feel good.
    You inspire me every day! Shame on those who cannot be happy for others! It's really very sad for them.
    ~lots and lots of xoxo's, CoriLynn

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    1. Thank you very much, sweet CoriLynn. Absolutely, I have no qualms with sarcasm or humour (I'm prone to both, too, though it may not always shine through in my posts), so long as it's not hurtful and a person knows where to draw the line, but flat our meanness, with zero constructive criticism in it, is not okay in my books either. Rudeness is never called for - never, ever, ever!!!

      You truly inspire me everyday as well, you fabulously stylish vintage loving lady, you!

      ♥ Jessica

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  52. Hello.
    Here's to another ever-existing question "what are we faking?" (or it's boring cousin "who are you pretending to be here?"
    First of all: I fail to understand how could anyone (anyone!) have any mean comments on this blog. It's a place of peace, style and great emotional wormth (radianting from the fingers of it's creator - you).
    Whole story on "people leaving anonious troll comments" is compact in a single sentence you wrote here: Life is not a costume contest.
    ..and I'm adding "we are not cicrus troup".
    We are not existing in this world to entertain folks with the idea that we are "stuck in the past", nor are we here to revive the era, and let all shower of rudnes, laughter and teasing come our way for it. Like yourself and other ladies.. I'm chosing to wear clothes that suit me, my style and my way of life.
    On the other hand, you've said it well: we do not dress ourselves to please anyone else.. but ourselves. Your style is ever so glamurous, it's adorned by magnificent details (that I give two thumbs up every single time I see your splendid posts).

    As many others said it, here goes:
    Keep on doing what you do. You do well, you are lovely.. and you have an army (over-statemen?) of friends behind you.

    Hug
    Marija

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  53. i´m a little late here - a couple days offline...
    let me say to you what we call this kind of people that trow bad comments out of the bushes in which they sit: "arme schweine". someone who is happy with his own life don´t have the need to be rude to others. sadly there is a lot of envy out there.
    love the last picture!!!!!! and that brooch is a fairy tale :-)
    big hugs!!!!

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  54. Gorgeous outfit, I adore this shade of blue with your red hair! (It's on your head, so it's yours ; ) )

    Lately, I've been a bit overwhelmed by the world in general and the internet in particular, which is why I've been mostly absent both from my own and other blogs, but this post has pulled me out from under my rock! The gall of some people - whether jealous, malicious or just high-handed, that comment was just so un-necessary. I wonder what such people hope to gain by spreading their mean words, do they actually think that by nurturing such dark feelings by putting it in writing, they will somehow feel better about themselves? Your response is a work of art, with a tact and tone, being firm but humble, that I can only dream of succesfully expressing.

    You are an inspiration! Both in your personal take on vintage style and in how you carry and express yourself online. I find the lack of the snobbism often found in other vintage blogs very liberating and encouraging. Personally, the spread of the "authentic-snobbism" in the vintage community I've come across in my country (I'm sure there are others, and they can very well be so much nicer) is one of the reasons I've been operating solo. Most of the domestic blogs that I enjoy also focuses on sewing or some other craft, and I think a bit of snobbism falls away when one mixes me-made clothes with "real" vintage, it somehow seems silly not to include 80s, 70s, RTW repro and modern vintage-looking pieces when one is anyway wearing a dress that came smoking fresh out of one's sewing machine =)

    The liberty to dress ourselves in whatever we like best, mixing era's and styles according to our own desire, is for me the major point of dressing vintage/vintage-inspired.

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  55. Gosh some people are rude! I like vintage styles too and my blog is riddled with things tagged vintage, but i don't think I've ever looked authentic and I think that's okay. We do live in the twenty first century so there are definitely bound to be some inaccuracies! I love the way you dress and I like that you add your own flair. Yay for individuality! your such a lovely person and I think that this person has the wrong idea about your blog. Don't change anything, because you are awesome :)

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  56. Hi Jessica,

    I've been following your blog for awhile and this is my first time commenting.
    When I first saw this post I thought how pretty! I really love the colours in this outfit, then my heart sank...It really baffles me how rude and hurtful people can be.

    Like others who wear vintage I have been teased, giggled and pointed at, had strange looks, rude comments from complete strangers and even people I know. Some comments I can't seem to let go off, even though they were said to me ten years ago! But I will never look back, I can't say that I will always wear vintage clothes but I will always wear what makes me happy and more importantly what makes me feel me. Recently I was in a store and two ladies were whispering loudly so I could hear, how bad they thought my outfit was and they couldn't believe what I was wearing. I turned around and said across the store "I can hear you, you know! " and stormed out feeling like a madwoman. Hurt and angry I told a friend what happened and she said, "Think of your idols. Do you think Anna Piaggi left the house without being criticised? Imagine she listened to haters and stopped being her awesome self. Be yourself, it's exhausting being someone else."

    Thanks for being yourself and sharing it with us.

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  57. Hi Jessica,

    This has been one of the best blog posts I have read in a long time. I often get cruel remarks about how I dress when I mix a little bit of vintage into my wardrobe. Many of the remarks are so horrible that I will not share them on here. I love your self esteem and that you simply don't care what others think and that you dress for yourself and no one else. Thank you for this blog post. It makes me feel better about myself and more confidence of who I am.

    Ashley
    Blue Rose Vintage

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    1. Ashley dear, with all my heart, I am sorry that you've had to contend with a slew of unspeakably mean/rude comments over the years. There is no excuse for anyone to ever say something unkind to another person about their appearance. They're entitled to think it in their minds, if they must, but they should always remain tight lipped on that front completely. Sadly, such is not always the case, but that doesn't make it alright or acceptable. I am sure that your style is resplendently lovely and that for every negative remark you've received, a thousand other people who say you were in awe of your style and had nothing but positive thoughts about it.

      ♥ Jessica

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  58. as ever, you showed exceptional style and grace in your response to that comment. I would not have been able to match your elegance of reply, that's for sure. I think you look wonderful and are 100% genuine and authentic which is, clearly, why so many people love to read your blog. Sadly, haters gonna hate in this easily anonymous internet age, but if there are all treated in the manner in which you dealt with them, perhaps they would learn a little.

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    1. Thank you deeply, Jo. The older I get, the more I find that reciting the expression about haters is all it takes to pacify my mind in situations like this (comment). It's so true, and it's important to remember that one shouldn't be affected by another person's hate. It's vile and negative, and doesn't serve you well at all.

      ♥ Jessica

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  59. The things people write. It's funny how anonymity suddenly gives people a boost of confidence to write negative things on other peoples blogs.They could at least have the guts to sign things with their names if they have the guts to write stuff like that. I haven't gotten any negative comments on my blog yet put I imagine taking them with a pinch of salt is the best method. I like your answer, so ladylike!

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  60. Wow Jessica. This is beautifully said and hits straight to the heart. "My vintage style is me, and I am my vintage style. We're intertwined, lifelong friends and we answer to no one." One of the best things I've ever read. Truly.
    -Jamie
    ChatterBlossom

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    1. Thank you very much, my dear friend. I am thoroughly touched to know that that line spoke to you so deeply. It really does sum up stance on personal style these days. I didn't start out with that degree of confidence and nonchalance (about other peoples' opinions of me), it grew over time, just as I did, and today it helps ensure I have a shield far greater than online anonymity to protect me from the wrath of those who would try to hurt me with their harsh words.

      ♥ Jessica

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  61. You are an amazingly sweet soul and I admire your graceful response to such a thoughtless comment. Bravo and cheers to many more years of lovely vintage and vintage fusion blog entries yet to come!

    -Lauren

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    1. That is a deeply beautiful, touching comment, Lauren, thank you very much. I use that term (vintage fusion) sometimes, too - I think it really applies to many of us who swirl different elements and/or decades together to create our fabulous one of a kind looks.

      Big hugs,
      ♥ Jessica

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  62. I am sorry that you received such a comment, it is so rude and unnecessary. I sometimes think people who write things like that cannot be very happy or secure in their own lives because surely if they were they would be too busy to bother writing such rubbish. Try not to let it get stuck in your head, I know that is easier said then done but they really don't deserve any more space in your brain or your time and energy. I think you handled it very well and hopefully the person will read your comment and this post and maybe stop and think a little. There should be no judging of people's style or of their blog posts. If you like them, keep reading, follow and maybe interact. If you don't, just don't click back on their blog, it is very easy.

    I really like this outfit, the print on the dress is so pretty and the brooch is great. The snood looks lovely, your hair fills it out so well. My hair has just got to shoulder length, do you think I could wear one? Maybe you could do some kind of 'how to rock a snood' post one day!

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    1. Thank you deeply, honey. There was a time - a long time, actually - in my life when something like this would have burrowed into my head and stayed there, eating away at my (fragile at the best of times) self esteem and view of myself, but I can sincerely say that (in the case of this particular comment at least) that didn't happen here. I wasn't happy about the comment, but I didn't lose any sleep over it. That really marks a big turning point for me, because (again) when I was younger and less secure with who I was and how I looked, something like that would have brought me to tears instantly. One of the perks of getting older is developing a thicker skin, and I'm very grateful that such is the case. Not caring what other people think of you is incredibly liberating.

      I think you could definitely pull of a snood! They are just so much fun to wear! My friend Stephanie Lynn recently posted a Youtube video she mad one her blog with a tip for wearing snoods with shorter hairstyles that you might find useful. Here's the link: http://star-spangledheart.blogspot.ca/2013/10/youtube-snoods-for-short-fine-hair.html

      Thank you again so much, Kate, you're a dear friend.

      ♥ Jessica

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  63. People are always judging other people and an unfortunate side effect of the internet anonymity is that people feel more comfortable to speak their mind without the possibility of confrontation. It's hard to ignore mean or hurtful comments, but its important that if you let it affect you, you allow it to affect you in a positive manner. You, Jessica, are a knockout and totally pull off each and every look you share with us. Don't listen to the mean people out there, they suck and you rock.

    Deborah
    Hellcat Vintage

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  64. Dear Jessica,

    First, I want to say that you are one of the nicest and loveliest people I have met through blogging. You could easily brush over comments from small-fries like me, and choose rather to focus on the bloggers with large followings; however, insignificant as I am you still find time to write cheerful, friendly comments on my blog. Each time I get a comment from you, you brighten my day. I love your optimism.

    Secondly, I admire you for wearing what you like. The way you mix decades of fashions is an inspirational. It shows that even if one cannot afford clothing to carry off the exact look of a particular decade, vintage clothing can easily be worn by anyone who loves it.

    You are the TOPS, my dearest Jessica!

    Hugs,
    Hope

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    1. My dear friend Hope, thank you very much for your tremendously lovely, uplifting comment. You are not a "small-fry", you are every bit as important in my eyes as any other blogger, be they well known or not. I do not distinguish between lesser and better known blog when it comes to those who so sweetly leave comments for me here on my own site. I appreciate, treasure, and look forward to frequently connecting with all of my blogging friends, whether they're household names, just getting started with their sites, part time bloggers, full time bloggers, or anything in between.

      You're the bee's knees, too - and please don't ever forget it!

      ♥ Jessica

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    2. That is what I love about you, Jessica, your thoughtfulness to all who visit you.

      Thanks bunches!!!

      ♥Hope

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  65. oh how beautiful you look again, red and blue is one of my all time favorite color combos, and you are brighter as the sun here, also lovin the snood. And to this anonymous comment, argh i hate people like that, i mean if they would have at least the balls to leave a comment with their name/account this is so cowardly!! and well also i think if you have nothing nice to say say nothing. i don´t think i could have respond so patient and polite, you are really a beautiful person from inside and outside! never let anybody put you down!
    love and kiss,mary
    http://www.maryloucinnamon.com/

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  66. Hello!

    We already touched on this subject on Instagram but thought I'd add a bit more here too.

    I really don't understand these 'fashion police' types...it's bad enough that they exist in modern day fashion but one of the whole reasons I love vintage is because I don't want to feel like I have to follow trends or rules. It takes the fun out of fashion & why should we be told how a particular style should look like?

    There is no uniqueness & no joy in feeling like you have to abide by set styles just because they are relevant to that particular era. Did this said anon commenter expect you to smear gravy browning on your legs & draw black lines up them too just to you-know be 'authentic'? More importantly...do they? Because heck if you're going to dish out comments like that then I hope they do!

    Dress how you want to dress & take joy in wearing the things you love :)

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  67. Ha. I officially calmed down enough to comment here... ish. Bullying incites a crazy fury in me, and this really made me mad because you are such a sweetheart. I was bullied a lot as a child, both in school and at home (luckily my mom finally dtmfa). Sure I wish that weren't the case, but you know what? Part of me wouldn't change anything, because it made me stop wanting to be anything other than myself. There's two ways you can react to cruelty - you can let it hurt you, or you can say "aaand you're wrong, because I'm me, and I'm awesome." Belittling other people, trying to hurt their self esteem, only exposes their own rotten insecurity. Whoever said that must not actually read your blog much, or at least your words, for they should have already known you are the latter person. You are absolutely unstoppable!

    This was incredibly inspiring to read, for it also served as an example of how to handle that situation with poise. While we both think the same thing in terms of being true to yourself - you handle meanness waaay better than I do. (Me: if anyone throw insults my way, I'll laugh in their face and tell them to **** off, because I'm way more fabulous than they'll ever be.) Errrr yeah, every time. Your eloquence and composure... certainly more graceful than flippant arrogance and obscenities. So thank you, as always, for being such a smashing role model. It means the world <3

    xo Sara

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    1. Dearest Sara, as someone who was teased and bullied mercilessly as a child (especially prior to high school), I understand your pain and strong feelings on this matter all to well. There is no reason to ever harass someone - let alone a complete stranger - and though it might be a lot more tame than what was dished out by schoolyard bullies, I too feel that comments like these fall squarely under the heading of bullying.

      For a very substantial part of my life, up until about two years ago, to be precise, a comment like this would have crushed me. Even if I knew what the person said was factually inaccurate and completely spiteful for no reason, it still would have eaten away at my psyche for days (or longer). As my 20s have wound down (I'll be 30 next July) however and I've grown more confident, these kinds of comments no longer hurt me in the same way, but they do still bother me greatly in the sense that there are people out there issuing them at friendly, lovely folks like us. This will never change, no matter how thick my skin may grow. Wrong is wrong and there's no excusing it.

      Please know that if anyone ever bullies or bothers you online or off (as best I can help from this side of the 49th), I am there for you and have your back completely. You are an awesome, intelligent, vivacious, beautiful, endlessly stylish, super cool woman and I feel so blessed to have you as a friend.

      Truly, thank you so very much,
      ♥ Jessica

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  68. Wonderfully put, my friend! It can really be a struggle to deal with this sometimes, but as you pointed out it's about accepting who you are and being happy with it no matter what anyone thinks. Happy Wednesday wishes!

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    1. Thank you so much, my sweet friend. I love that the older I get, the easier a time I have accepting myself and my (physical) appearance - flaws and all, as well as letting harsh comments like these roll off my back. That isn't to say that they don't affect me in the moment, but I'm better able to shrug them off than ever before and I hope that my skin will only continue to thicken in that regard as I get older still

      Thank you again from my heart,
      ♥ Jessica

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  69. Well said. I get some crazy rude comments too, but that's life on the internet. Good for you for replying eloquently and not stooping to a snarky response.

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  70. What a shame that people need be so negative and ignorant, especially to such a kind, uplifting person as yourself. We love you and your blog, just look at all the readers and comments you have! Keep on smiling Jessica, negativity and meanness is like a disease of one's tormented soul. Misery loves company.

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    1. That is does, dear April, that it does, and I'm not going to give it any this time around! I'd much rather spend my time and energy on awesome, uplifting people like my wonderful blog readers and online friends (yourself very much included there, of course).

      Thank you deeply for your caring and entirely sweet comment.

      ♥ Jessica

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  71. Hi Jessica,

    Thank you so much for your kind and thoughtful reply on my blog. I'm honored to have you be the first to leave a comment, as I have been a fan of your blog for a few years now! I'm also slightly embarrassed that my first post isn't even finished.
    I stared this blog about a year ago (its amazing how time files!) and I guess life just got in the way and it took a back burner. I also think the restricting my shopping habits may have had something to do with it too ��
    Your kind welcome has inspired me to give it another go, Thanks again

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    1. You are very welcome, sweet Esther, thank you in turn for your terrifically touching comment. I am moved through and through to know that I've helped inspire you when it comes to both your blog and your shopping habits. What an awesomely lovely thing for you to share with me. Thank you deeply!

      ♥ Jessica

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  72. First off, I love your outfit here. It's so bright and cheery, and such a testament to the strength you show in not letting a comment like that anonymous person's bring you down. Seriously, people can be so stupid and lame! I feel the same way about style and dressing vintage as you state here so eloquently. I never set out to dress head-to-toe 1947 specific! I love too many other eras and pieces to be held down to such a standard. It's annoying that someone interested in vintage, and looking at a vintage blog would be so strict. We're essentially outsiders with this passion so nit-picking on our own kind is just heinous. You rock, Jessica! This was a great post.

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  73. I was nodding enthusiastically as I read your post. One of the things I love most about vintage clothing blogs is seeing how different people style their vintage items. Each person creates and curates their own collection of clothing and assembles them into outfits that are reflective of their own moods, inspirations and personalities. I love vintage, particularly from the 60's and 70's, but I don't wear vintage every day. I like to mix and match items from different eras, as well as modern pieces or reproductions. I love wearing a vintage-inspired hairstyle or makeup with a totally modern outfit. There are no rules when it comes to vintage dressing, we are each free to do it our own way.

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  74. PREACH IT!!! You have handled those comments so graciously, as you always are. You're awesome, Jessica! <3

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  75. Ha! I can honestly say I've not read this before today and it's exciting to know your Thumper's rule holds near and dear to me as well. You've made me think totally different about how a vintage wardrobe can be worn. And thanks to you I have been putting my own spin on what I wear because my wardrobe is at the beginning stages.
    I think I'll shall spend my evening with you and go back in time.
    By the way love that brooch!

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    1. It's awesome to know that I've helped you look at your own vintage wardrobe in a different light. The desire to help others do just that is a very important underlying theme here in my blog. I want folks to see that "one size fits all" does not apply to vintage fashion and that we're each free to rock our own take on yesteryear style without fear of ridicule or judgement from those within or outside of our own circle.

      ♥ Jessica

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