May 2, 2016

Blogging through the eyes of an introvert


"The internet is really important to your life," my mother remarked to me one evening nearly three  and a half years ago now during the course of a discussion we were having about the web. It was said not as a question, but as the kind of statement one makes when they are able to truly see how meaningful something is to another person.

I was moved by her comment not only because it's spot on in its accuracy, but also because it's very touching to know that my mom (who doesn't blog or hang on social networking sites herself at all) gets just how pivotal to my daily life being online typically is to me.

The web is important to millions upon millions of people around the world, but today I'd like to touch on one reason in particular why it's been incredibly poignant part of my life for many years now.

You see, I am an introvert. By the simplest of definitions this means that I gather much of the energy that I need to propel me through life not from being around others or in social situations, but from my own personal alone time (or very nearly "alone time" - being around my husband, Tony, for example, thankfully does usually not drain me).

Extroverts, on the other hand, generally charge their proverbial batteries from being in social settings and around other people. Neither is better than the other, they're just different, and most people fall into one of two camps (though there are also some "middleverts", also known as ambiverts, such as Tony himself, who encompass qualities of both introversion and extroversion).





I have, from the very earliest days of my life been an introvert. Not only that, but I am incredibly shy. It's often mistakenly thought that being an introvert automatically makes you a shy person, but such is not always the case, and there are plenty of introverts who are not shy in the slightest (I've know some over the years first hand).

In many social settings I'm the designated listener. I observe, I contemplate, and when I do speak, I often rehearse my words in my head and then sometimes come very close to stuttering (which I did as a child, but usually do not, as an adult) as I try to get them out. Tongue-tiedness has been as much a part of my life as air I breath since day one.

Of course some settings are easier than others (stressful ones I find, especially those involving anything to do with my health, are amongst the most challenging for me), and sometimes I can "hide" my shyness so much a stranger would likely never know I wasn't a bubbly extrovert who'd never been shy a day in their life (for the record, there are shy extroverts, shyness is not something that only affects introverts).






Usually however, my cheeks flush redder than a raspberry (I was often teased and bullied in school because of this point) when I start talking to a stranger or someone I don't know well, and I find myself struggling greatly to say what it is that I may want to.

I feel that I should point out that I do not have social anxiety disorder. I might not always want to be in social settings, but I rarely fear or dread them and can usually get through them relatively easily (blushing and tongue-tiedness aside). Sometimes I even like being part of a group, crowd or party setting, though given a choice, as an introvert, I do generally prefer to be alone or in a small group of people that I'm very comfortable with.

As well, I generally loath being the center of attention (yes, there are exceptions to that rule, but they're rare). I tend to shy away from the limelight, have an incredibly hard time talking about myself (more so in person), and will almost always let others be the life of the party (even at my own parties!).

To many - especially in this "look at me 24/7" world where it seems like everyone is clamoring to get their 15 seconds, let alone 15 minutes, of fame, this can seem like an utterly foreign concept, but I can't stress enough how true it is for me (and certainly some other shy and/or introverted folks out there, too).

Like many introverts and shy individuals, I tend to live in my head a lot. By this I mean that I am constantly thinking a million and one thoughts that I do not say aloud or which I only vaguely touch on when I do speak (and sometimes I quite literally forget to speak at all).

This quality of being has its pros and cons, but for the most part, I rather like it, especially since I've always be an analytical person who loves to think about all manner of subjects.




Throughout my life there have been lots of times when I struggled to convey through spoken words what it is that I wanted to say. Most people are familiar with being in this position, but for me it's something that happens nearly every day of my life (often multiple times). In many ways it was worse as a child in school and then when I was dating in my teen years (I got married when I was twenty), because it sometimes hindered my ability to make friends or be accepted by the group in social settings.

Another element of "living inside my head" a lot is that I often feel like I'm on the verge of exploding with creativity. I form plans, invasion crafts, write posts, daydream about events and myriad other things quietly to myself for most of the day. As a blogger this is an incredibly powerful and fantastic tool, as it means that I very rarely run into anything even remotely resembling writer's block.





Because I usually do not need to turn to other people to keep me entertained (my own thoughts and personal projects take care of that), I'm fortunate to almost never encounter boredom either (nor do I feel lonely easily).

The statement "I'm bored, there's nothing to do", is not one that was ever uttered from my mouth when I was a child, nor that you'll hear out of me these days either. Because quite, reflective alone time is so integral to introverts, we're prone to being creative types (writers, artists, crafters, composers, etc) who often best express ourselves through our things we create (blog posts very much included).

Beyond just coming up with ideas for posts through, it means that when I sit down to write at my computer for my blog (yes, I said "my" here twice on purpose), with no constraints, no pressure, and no one around to watch me work, I am free at long last to say as much or as little as I want. Finally the words and thoughts that have been forming quietly in my mind are free to speak in ways that they might never had, if only allowed to come out through my mouth.

In this respect, the internet is nothing short of a godsend for me. It gives me a platform to speak, and more over, to do so confidently. I don't flush when I write, I don't get tongue-tied as I type, and I don't grow increasingly self-conscious if I start writing a lengthy post the way I do if I've been talking to most people for more than a few moments.

The internet, blogging, and running an Etsy shop are empowering. They allowing me to speak clearly, confidently and happily, and to not have to second guess my words all the time (interestingly, and awesomely, I generally finding the same thing to be when it comes to my YouTube videos as well).





On top of that, while I know I'll never be a social media superstar who devotes every waking hour to telling the world what they're up, the web also allows me to connect with others in a online public setting and to form friendships through the computer (this point is especially important to me when you add in the fact that my chronic health problems often keep my housebound and thus not able to get out in public or to feel well enough to entertain at home).

Though online forums, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and the like can still make me feel shy and uneasy sometimes, the longer I use them, the less I find this to be an issue (yay!).

Through blogging (and my shop) I get to meet and become friends with people around the world. I learn and am inspired by them, laugh, smile and share tears with them, and connect in a way that I likely would never be able to if not for the internet.

In my posts I am free to say whatever I want. There's rarely much in the way of shyness involved, no potentially draining public settings to contend with, and no need to be afraid of how what I say might actually come across (I've been told - and am the first to admit - that I often strike people as being very intense in person, which I think stems from the fact that I try to craft my words very carefully when I speak aloud and to transmit my point as accurately as possible).

Not only that, but because I get to blog from the comfort of my home on my own time, it doesn't usually have a draining effect on me from an introversion perspective.

In fact, I've found it's often one of the best ways to recharge my batteries, because it allows me to take some of many, many thoughts waltzing around unspoken in my mind, that I really want to discuses, and share them with the world. It might sound like an oversimplification, but my blog allows me to speak when my tongue won't.





The internet is deeply important to me, my mom was a hundred percent accurate when she said that, and most of the time, it's hard to imagine what my life would be like without it. Though I do try to purposely take breathers from it every now and then (something we should all do), ultimately, I'm grateful that the web is there for me anytime I want to turn to it.

I'll always be an introvert and I will always be a shy person, but thanks to the internet, I no longer have to be a silent person when I don't want to be, and that alone makes it one of the most meaningful and important things to ever become a part of my world.

80 comments:

  1. Wow Jessica, thank you for sharing this about yourself and I can relate to how you think and feel on so many levels. Though I'm generally an 'out going' person on the outside, I am very much an introvert. People drain me, social situations drain me (I have social anxiety, but hide it very well), but I am a talker. My nervous tendency to babble and talk is a way to ask people about themselves as it deflects the attention away from me.

    I am a shy person on the inside. I am draw to shy people when I see them at a party or social situation and try to chat with them to make them feel more comfortable. I guess I just understand as I was a very shy child and didn't 'come out of my shell' until about age 13.

    Now I'm writing a book, but wanted to say I can relate <3

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    1. Thank you deeply for sharing so much about yourself and how you can relate to what I wrote. I loved learning more about you and feel like we have an even greater degree in common now. I too am drawn to shy people and can usually spot a fellow introvert a mile away. I'm (if we didn't know one another online already, that is) that we'd lock in on one another in a crowded room and find introvert solace in each other's companionship.

      Huge hugs & perpetual understanding,
      ♥ Jessica

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  2. I feel very touched by this post. I used to be a rather extrovert child, making fun all the time. Communicative, witty, sociable and open. School however was, from a social point of view, no fun for me at all. I got more and more introvert, concentrating on school, crafts, and my family. In my professional life I was lucky to work for many years with the same people that became friends (and, in one case, my husband), but I realised I had troubles each time I had to deal with "new" people.

    Having a family of my own today, I find it extremely difficult to interact with other parents and sometimes even neighbours. I feel most comfortable when I'm at home, in my garden, or when I only have to deal with people I know very well. Being different (I guess wearing vintage/vintage style makes you slightly different anyway) doesn't make it easier for me, especially as I'm not the chatty, talkative kind, and I do not like to discuss my private life with people I have nothing in common.
    It is, however, interesting that in my case too, the internet is my way out of the very silent world I'm usually living in. Sharing my love and passion for sewing and vintage things, I met a lot of wonderful and inspiring individuals (including you, dear Jessica), and I can act a bit less introvert than usual without feeling uncomfortable. It's amazing how many likeminded people I was able to meet through social networks and my blog, not only regarding our interests, but also regarding our "reclusiveness". Writing is easier for me than talking. And I don't have to interact when I'm not in the mood for a chat.

    It's an incredibly comforting thought that I am not weird, nor alone. Just different. And that I still can be sociable, despite being an introvert.

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    1. Sweet Doris, thank you for your very open and relatable comment. I fully understand what you mean regarding how you feel when it comes to meeting new people, and how you're most comfortable in the context of your own home. That's me (big time!), too. I do enjoy getting out and seeing the world, but I like to do so as a solo adventurer or just with people (like Tony or my mom) who truly "get" me and with whom I feel comfortable and confident.

      As more time goes on, I've really started to notice what a large percentage of vintage (and similar) bloggers remain active on their sites are introverts or middleverts. We might enjoy social media, too, but there's a very concrete part of us that needs the sense of a voice and a peaceful creative outlet all our own that blogging affords us and I know that for me personally, being an introvert is a major part of why I've been able to keep blogging on a regular basis, and to consistently feel jazzed about it, for as long as I have now. It's marvelous that you've gained so much from blogging, including making lots of online friends (I count you amongst mine as well, sweet lady - thank you!). That really has to be one of the best and most life changing elements about the web for many in our sorts of (vintage or modern :)) shoes.

      Giant hugs & the truest of understanding,
      ♥ Jessica

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  3. Yes, exactly! I'm very introverted as well, but not particularly shy. I find being in a large family quite draining. I actually have to watch how much time I spend online too, as I find that to be draining in a different sort of way. I find that working with my hands and doing physical work is the best thing for me most of the time. I love to read, and write, but I have to set aside specific time to write, or I just fall into a rabbit hole with it. The best recharge for me is to watch a movie and knit, or read a good book. I'm trying to be more disciplined in these areas of my life so that I make sure to get the recharge time that I need.

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    1. I fully and completely understand, and sometimes feel the same way, too. Not generally when it comes to my blog, but with the web at large - very, very much including my constantly jam packed inbox - I feel drained (and/or anxious and/or stressed) at times as well. When that happens, I know that I simply must step back for a few hours or even a couple of days or longer and do things, like taking tranquil walks in the woods near our house, to help sooth my frazzled nerves. Thank you for raising that point. I didn't really touch on it here, but it's definitely a side to the web that I suspect many introverts like us deal with and that is very rarely spoken of.

      Thank you for your fantastic and insightful comment, dear Juliana. I very much appreciate it (and you!).

      Tons of hugs,
      ♥ Jessica

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  4. Thank you for a lovely personal post. It's comforting to know you feel able to share such things with us. All of the things you said in your post are very obvious in the way you write and present yourself over the Internet, and I think that it's marvellous to see. In this social media world, it is often seen as odd or wrong to not be a social butterfly for whatever reason. So I regard you as wonderful breath of fresh air, as I can see that you would never judge a person if they were different from you. You are a great example of someone who isn't fame hungry or selfishly grabbing the limelight, but who is hugely successful in the areas you choose to take part in. I am an introvert with massive problems of anxiety. I have never been lonely or bored either. I paint and write and have a beautiful filled world inside my head ( of which you have contributed to ). I feel quite blessed to be able to be so happy in my own company. Thank you for showing that introverts are valued people too, if I was as inspiring as you are then I would be very happy xx ( sorry for the long comment )

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    1. There is never, ever any need to apologize for the length of your comments here, sweet Emily. I'm touched when you share many a word with me and always value your thoughts on any topic - introversion very much included.

      Yes, yes and yes again! I've really noticed a spike in judgement (including at times from various companies) towards those who are not epic social butterflies and social media "superstars". One type of person is not better than the other in any way, we're just two sides to the personality spectrum and each brings a lot to the table and the landscape of the web itself.

      You are sincerely inspiring to me as well, my fellow anxiety fighting introvert, and I very much cherish the deep, beautiful relationship that we've forged online in recent months.

      Unending hugs & understanding,
      ♥ Jessica

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  5. I am lost for words, Jessica, as reading your post was like reading about me. Just like you I'm a shy introvert, who's living inside her head a lot. I too am given to rehearsing words in my head. It has improved a little with age, though, but I'm still surprised at myself that I actually started blogging after having had a blog "in my head" for such a long time. Many hugs and wishing you a great week ahead. Ann
    xxxxx

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    1. Sweet Ann, I'm touched to know that this post resonated so deeply with you and love knowing that we share so much in common - not just on the vintage adoring front, but when it comes to being quiet introverts who "live" in our heads as well. Like yourself, it took me a while to build up the courage to launch my vintage blog, though I must say, I've definitely never regretted it and am so grateful for the countless positives it has brought my way - very much including helping me to grow and blossom in a lot of different areas of my life.

      You're a stellar person and really terrific online friend. Thank you for sharing yourself with us and making the vintage world a better place because of it.

      Giant hugs coming your way across the miles,
      ♥ Jessica

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  6. It's great that the internet has proved so useful to you! It really does open the world and make it accessible in ways people are happy with.

    My husband's definitely an introvert. He'd be happy living in a hut in the middle of nowhere, as long as there was a constant supply of books.

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    1. You know, I really think that so long as each party is sensitive to, and understanding of, the other's needs and ways of being, introverts and extroverts can make for excellent life partners. I know that Tony and I have each learned and gained much from each other in terms of introversion and extroversion, and I'm truly grateful for that.

      Thank you for your lovely comment, dear Mim. I hope that you and your honey are doing well and enjoying a beautiful first week of May.

      Many hugs,
      ♥ Jessica

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  7. I feel exactly as you do. I have always felt very socially akward since I was a small child and struggled to make friends. My anxiety could surface in the form of talking to much or interrupting just because I was very nervous. Its gotten better over the years but I still feel socially akward in many settings and Im not a socializer. I find the internet to be a place where I can clearly express my views and socialize in a way that works for me. The internet and social media are indeed a god send for people like us

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    1. Immensely so, sweet Kate, I couldn't agree more. Could I live my life without them? You bet, especially having grown and blossomed so much thanks to the time that I have spent online, but I think I'd loose a lot in the process and have no plans of retiring from the web anytime soon.

      Thank you very much for sharing just how much my own experiences mirror your own. It's wonderful that we introverts are able to "get" and support another so powerfully online.

      Huge hugs & endless understanding,
      ♥ Jessica

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  8. Absolutely loved this post Jessica, and I am exactly the same. I've been thinking about 18year old me who started blogging 6 years ago and how much of a voice blogging gives me without being an extrovert. x

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    1. It's really interesting that you mentioned how long you've been blogging for, honey, because (in the course of penning this post) I've been reflecting a great deal lately on how it seems like an ever larger number of remaining vintage (and similar) bloggers are introverts or middleverts. Not all, of course, but I'd really venture to guess a far greater percentage than are extroverts. I think this is, in no small part, because of the tremendous benefits that blogging brings our way, which we're not always (if at all) able to extrude from the offline world.

      Thank you very much for your terrific comment and for continuing to blog six years on. That's such a fabulous - and very commendable - accomplishment.

      Tons of hugs,
      ♥ Jessica

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  9. I agree with you on so many levels, Jessica - hurrah to the internet! It's a great tool for both shy, introverted and creative people. I think I am more like your husband that way - 50/50. I love my alone time and need a lot of it, but I also can feel recharged from conversations and interactions with people, in the right settings. I need people, but not just a crowd. I do not like a huge crowd. The older I get, the less I like going out on busy days. I can't imagine living in a big city for that reason - I need a lot of space, a lot of air! Writing is my most favorite activity, including writing blog posts and comments to such thoughtful bloggers as yourself. It is in a way a perfect interaction - you do it whenever you feel like, and you can respond or not respond, a little different rules apply to this kind of social interaction.

    I think extroverts sometimes do think that there is something wrong with introverts, and your article can help such people understand your type better. The internet is a great tool for creative types! In my ideal world, I would love to have an opportunity to meet with some of the creative people I meet from all over the world, at least from time to time, to share creativity and just some laughs. Even though I have tons of ideas and projects, just as yourself, I do need interaction with people who get me, and I do get lonely without real life friends. But I am very happy to live in our times. It's so much easier to connect with like-minded people! Can you imagine your life before this era? Writing books is cool, but it's a one-way street, mostly. Letters took months and sometimes years to arrive. How did introverts and creative people survive back then? I would explode! :)

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    1. Thank you deeply, dear Natalia, I sincerely appreciate the insight and personal experience that you bring to the subject of life as a middlevert. I think that you and your fellow ambiverts are too under represented in discussions about the "vert" spectrum (perhaps because you're able to often mingle so well in either of the more extreme camps?).

      It's awesome that writing is so near and dear to your own heart as well. I literally couldn't imagine not writing. Be it on paper and/or the computer. It has been a source of incredible comfort, joy, help, and inspiration to me throughout my whole life. In fact, I credit my poetry writing as a teenager with truly helping me get through some of the most brutal, abuse filled years of my existence. More recently, blogging has been a godsend to me and my life as a multiple chronic illness fighter, on top of the benefits that it brings me from an introversion perspective as well.

      Thank you again for your marvelous, and very wise, comment. It made my heart smile!

      Tons of hugs,
      ♥ Jessica

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  10. I love this post so much! I reflect constantly on why I keep such an odd type of blog when at heart I'm introverted and like my alone time. I didn't have a typical wedding because it's not my style to play the bride, and I was really happy with that. So why in the world did I get into fashion blogging? I can't figure myself out.

    I think your observations are accurate, though, it's about being able to express yourself clearly in a controlled setting, and interacting with other people but with the measuredness of being able to type out your words rather than being stared down in conversation. And it gives me the confidence to strike poses and make friends out of strangers!

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    1. That's awesome to hear, sweet Kira. I can very much relate to what you mean about not necessarily knowing why you started a blog, but knowing in your heart of hearts that you get some really important and helpful benefits from it. I felt much the same way with some of the earlier (non-vintage focused) websites that I used to have as well. In general, even if (for whatever unknown reason) I no longer ran CV, I'm almost certain that I'd be starting up another blog in no time. I truly need the serenity, happiness, and sense of a voice that writing online gives me and would feel rather lost in the world at this point without such.

      Huge hugs coming your way, my fellow introvert,
      ♥ Jessica

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  11. I was nodding so fiercely in agreement with this entire post! You've hit the nail on the head so much, I've actually added this post to my bookmarks so I can revisit it which I'll no doubt want to as you've articulated it all so perfectly. I've had people online who've never met me in real life refuse to believe that I struggle socially and aren't a talkative person because I have a blog and so they presume must be seeking the limelight, when I blog purely because it's most comfortable outlet and is a platform that allows me to be me.
    Thank you so much for sharing this post xx

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    1. You are truly welcome, my beautiful friend. It means a lot to me to know that this post struck such a powerful chord with you. I've run into the same situation a number of times as well regarding people being thrown for a loop by how different, in some respects, I am online and off. It's okay though, I find that so long as I'm true to myself, most people that I'd want to actually have in my life quickly come around and understand (at least to a degree) that I'm actually an epicly shy introvert in person (albeit it a friendly, cheerful one who does warm up and become more outgoing the better I know and trust someone).

      You're a gem, an inspiration and a perfectly awesome person exactly as you are, Freya, and I feel very fortunate to know you online.

      Giant hugs,
      ♥ Jessica

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  12. I can see your mom knows you well! Yes, internet is important for introvert people and you wrote it well, saying that intoverts don't necessarily suffer from social disorders and that they can or not be shy - this is different. People assume that it's the same, but it's not. I am not a complete introvert, and people say I am an extrovert. I think I am, but in a different way. I live inside my head, like you said, for long hours and like you, I create a dozen of things a day - mostly in my head :) But I think that being an introvert and not talking much, internet serves you right, getting to know all sorts of people and interacting, which can be very rewarding and positive. I know some people who are the ones "look at me 24/7" and because I refuse to be so, one of them started to be nasty, since she understands I despise her for that. Well, as you can see, her 24/7 is taken to self-esteem issues - YOU MUST LOVE ME! I think it's refreshing and very nice to know a girl like you, honest, sweet and an introvert - and this never means a negative thing, that's what people should know! Hugs and a lovely week to you, dear Jessica!
    DenisesPlanet.com

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    1. I'm deeply sorry that you ran into such an unpleasant situation and were harassed online for not conforming to that person's narrow views on how one should behave online. That truly isn't fair or right to you in the slightest. It's wonderful that you haven't let this person derail you from blogging and being yourself online. The web is definitely a richer and more marvelous place because you're here, my sweet friend.

      Tons of hugs & thanks for your open, very relateable comment,
      ♥ Jessica

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  13. I am most definitely an introvert. And I found myself agreeing with you a lot. Sometimes I need a vacation from my thoughts! I can get into rather intense thinking spells.... Thank you also for clarifying what an introvert is. I do enjoy social activities, but they generally drain me and wear me out.

    Sarah
    sewcharacteristicallyyou.weebly.com

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    1. Goodness, yes!!! I can be the same way, too. When I need to take a breather, so to speak, from the vortex of activity in my mind, I find that taking walks in exciting locations that give me a lot to focus on visually can be a big help.

      Thank you for your wonderfully lovely comment and for sharing that you're able to relate so deeply with what I wrote, my dear fellow introvert.

      Countless hugs,
      ♥ Jessica

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  14. Yes yes yes yes yes to ALL of this, Jessica. I found myself nodding along to the rhythm of words as i read, the easy to relate to truths and honest quotes.
    And thumbs up for the simple and realistic explanation of what introverts and extroverts are and AREN'T (as in shy). There are so many misconceptions about introverts out there. And this is gold.

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    1. Goodness, are there ever. I personally think that there are less misconceptions about extroverts than their are introverts (and ambiverts, too). Perhaps because the former are more in the public eye?

      It means a lot to me know that this post resonated to such a degree with you as well, sweet Abigail. Thank you very much for your thoughtfully lovely comment.

      Countless hugs,
      ♥ Jessica

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  15. I can honestly relate here. In school, I was often bullied and teased for everything in the book-not being skinny, having to wear glasses, having bad teeth, being ugly, etc. So not shockingly, I am proud to say I am introverted. But when I'm around people I'm comfortable with, like friends or my family, I definitely open up. My mom is constantly telling me to stop reading and start talking. How am I supposed to talk to people who I have nothing in common with? How about boring! You give me a book or two and you'll never hear from me again, lol.

    So don't worry. I'm an introvert and usually get really loud and excited when talking about something I love, like music. When I start talking about music, that's when I get really loud and excited and go on and on and on. LOL!! But when it comes to making friends, however, I like to try and become friends with similar likes and interests.

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    1. Thank you very much for your terrific comment and for sharing that you saw so much of yourself in this post, too. I'm deeply sorry that you were teased in school (I was big time as well for a wide array of reasons). It's downright amazing how profound an impact such can have on us for the rest of our lives.

      Three cheers to being an introvert who is comfortable in your own skin!

      Many hugs,
      ♥ Jessica

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  16. Like many of the other comments, I identify with so much of what you've said about both introversion and shyness.

    I understood little about introversion and had thought I was strange to need rest from other people until I read 'Quiet - The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking' by Susan Cain.

    One of my bugbears is the way "She's shy, isn't she?" is a loaded phrase, a judgement, usually aimed at a child. Shy people have so much to offer the world that more than makes up for being a little timid at parties!

    Inevitably the world understands little about introverts and shy people - so thank you for writing so openly and eloquently about it. Maybe this is our time?! xxx

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    1. Isn't it though? The implication that there is inherently something wrong with being shy and/or introverted has always rubbed me the wrong way, too. I couldn't possibly agree more with you in terms of the many wonderful gifts that such people have to offer the world, and hope that as time goes on, we'll be recognized to greater degree for what we bring to the rich tapestry of life, creativity and personal relationship alike.

      Thank you very much for insightful, excellent, dear Samantha. I sincerely appreciate it.

      Many hugs & joyful May wishes,
      ♥ Jessica

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  17. I love this! I'm more of a "middlevert", but I understand what it's like to live in your head, and blogging has opened up so many opportunities :)

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    1. That's truly fantastic! I think that it has been a godsend of unparalleled help to so many the world over and I suspect that as time goes on, we'll continue to see an even higher percentage of introverts and middleverts remain as long term bloggers.

      Big hugs & happy Wednesday wishes,
      ♥ Jessica

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  18. You describe the feelings of an introvert so well!! I have tried many ways to describe it, but I have never been able to find the words as well as you have. I can relate to so much of what you said- The never being bored, the thoughts and ideas that are always bouncing around in your head. Growing up I was the only introverted person I knew, and I thought there was something seriously wrong with me. I used to push myself to be social and refused to even let myself think for a second that I was an introvert, because of all the negativity I saw surrounding it. But I would get so stressed out and would find myself often crying in a corner when I couldn't handle it. Finally, eventually, I realized it's okay to be an introvert and now I fully embrace it! I just wish I would have realized that years sooner, and I hope posts like yours make their way around and help fellow introverts understand themselves better. :)

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    1. That is such a touching and beautiful thing to say, dear Sarah. Thank you deeply. I truly hope that this post is able to reach others beyond "just" the vintage realm as well.

      Thank you for speaking so candidly about some of the hurdles that you've faced throughout your life as introvert, too, sweet Sarah. I truly commend you on having been able to reach a point where you've been able to embrace who you and celebrate the beauty and many gifts that come with being an introvert. You're awesome!

      Huge hugs & endless understanding,
      ♥ Jessica

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  19. This was a really interesting read. It's amazing how differently people come across online than they do in person, and I think it's been a really amazing place for people who might otherwise have few outlets for self-expression to finally let out their creativity. I never would have guessed that you're shy in person - I always sort of pictured you as being just as bubbly and gregarious as you are online! It's so much easier to let go of the self-consciousness that you might feel in person when you have the screen to mediate, though.
    I've always been quite shy, but I keep getting customer service kind of jobs that force me to spend a lot of time talking to people. I'm still kind of quiet when I'm not behind the desk (unless I'm with people that I know well and like), but having the framework of my job helps me be more outgoing and friendly than I would be otherwise. It's been really helpful in my life outside of work as well, because now I know I can do it, even if it's initially uncomfortable for me.

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    1. There really can be strikingly differences between one's online persona or way of being and how they are offline. We tend to think of this in negative contexts, such as with so-called "internet trolls" and others who use animosity to be cruel/rude/etc online, but that isn't the only instance at all. So many introverts are full of seemingly outgoing energy online, but may not be that way in person. I'm definitely bubbly and gregarious in person (thank you deeply for saying that you see me as such), but you'll usually have to get to know me first before that side of me really shines. I'm always cheerful with people though, no matter how uncomfortable a situation might back me - especially since I find that putting on a "brave face" in such settings can often translate into actually becoming more at home in them, as you discussed as well.

      Thank you very much for your awesome comment and for sharing more about your own shyness/introversion. I just adore learning more about you, my sweet friend.

      Tons of hugs,
      ♥ Jessica

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  20. I recognized you instantly as an introvert because I'm one too and see such deep similarities between us. Everything you describe applies to me, too. I like introverts.

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    1. Likewise on all counts, my fellow introverts. I think there's something deeply special how we kindred souls naturally gravitate towards one another both online and off. As time goes on, I'm noticing a strong correlation (at least in the vintage realm) of introverts and middleverts still blogging on a regular basis, but less extroverts doing so (often favouring social media instead). I suspect the fact that we derive so many incredible benefits from blogging, far beyond the mere act of creating a blog, that we often don't find (at least to the same degree) in our offline world is a huge part of the reason why such is the case.

      Huge cheers for blogging introvert friends and the bonds we share!

      ♥ Jessica

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  21. I'm an introvert too. Whenever I'm in a group, I think people forget I am even there. lol I love to write, hence the blogging. I even enjoy facebook a bit, since I can actually get a word in edgewise. lol However, did anyone even notice what I wrote? lol It's okay. I'm comfortable, like you said, with my quiet time, sewing, reading, dreaming, writing...
    Laurie

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    1. So very true! Though, humbly, I must say, time and time again throughout my life, I've emerged as a natural leader/organizer/go-to person in group settings, though it may take a while for that to happen, especially if I'm working with strangers.

      I don't even toss my hat into the ring (and honestly usually have zero desire to do so) when it comes to trying to make any sort of bold statements on Facebook or elsewhere online. I just want to swim in calm waters, so to speak, with like-minded souls and celebrate the good, the beautiful, and serene that the web has to offer.

      Thank you very much for your wonderful comment and for sharing about your own marvelous introversion with me/us, sweet Laurie.

      Tons of hugs,
      ♥ Jessica

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  22. I agree that the internet definitely makes it easier for shy people and introverts to speak their mind and make friends. I love the outlet that blogging gives me.

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    1. The web is a true blessing to so many introverted/shy/anxious (and of course chronically ill and disabled) people to for whom the so-called norms of human interaction may not always come naturally or may need to be done on our own terms.

      Thank you for your great comment, my fellow introvert. Sending huge hugs your way from (presently rainy) Penticton,
      ♥ Jessica

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  23. Oh my god this is totally me I'm a introvert and shy! At school, I was extremely shy, hardly saying a word! I'm still shy to this day, but am getting better at communicating when meeting new people! In both work and personal life situations though! :) I actually believe dressing pinup/vintage over the last few years has helped me come out of my shell even more!

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    1. That's fabulous, Camilla! I know that dressing the way that I do has certainly helped to bolster my own confidence as well and am very grateful for that (as I've battled self-confidence and self-esteem issues my whole life).

      It's wonderful to know that you saw so much of yourself in this post, too. It warms my heart to know that we share introversion in common on top of a love of all things old school.

      Giant hugs & many thanks for your great comment,
      ♥ Jessica

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  24. Very nice post, Jessica, and I can relate to you as a fellow introvert. I think people often equate being an introvert with being a loner or antisocial but it's really just that we need our downtime to recharge, as you point out. Once restored, I'm happy to interact with the world again, albeit virtually at times from my computer screen! Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

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    1. Exactly, Janet, exactly! You succinctly nailed it by saying that we simply need downtime to recharge and that we're not per se antisocial or such. Far from it! I think that because we approach life so differently, introverts actually often like to get out and about in public for a while, especially if we're doing things that we really enjoy and are either by ourselves or in the company of trusted loved ones.

      I really appreciate your comment and am delighted to learn that you're a fellow introvert, too.

      Many hugs & happy start of May wishes,
      ♥ Jessica

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  25. Wow, it was almost as if you were describing me! My shyness isn't as bad as it used to be and when I'm in a small group of people I know very well people would probably describe me as an extrovert. In fact one particular friend was completely shocked when she persuaded me to go out to a very busy pub on a Friday night (something I never do) and I completely froze up, I was completely out of my comfort zone. She'd never seen the introvert, shy side of me and she really didn't know what to make of it. Needless to say I never did that again!

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    1. I can relate there! Sometimes I like the idea of certain social settings and the like, but when push actually comes to shove, I'm like a fish out of water and instantly regret my choice (not always of course, but it does certainly happen). It's comforting to know that I'm not alone in that respect. I'm sorry that you had that experience and hope that your friend was understanding regarding how being in busy pup made you, as an introvert, feel.

      Tons of hugs & understanding,
      ♥ Jessica

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  26. You are describing my younger self, Jessica! It might help you to know the this is something that might change over time, as you become more confident in groups. I never thought I would see the day when I could get up and speak in public -- and look at me now! (But my favourite thing is still to be utterly alone in my own house.) Knowing what a challenge it is for you to move outside your comfort zone, I'm touched that you came to see my book talk in Penticton. Keep up the wonderful work that you do.

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    1. Thank you very much for your touchingly lovely comment, dear Elinor. I find social interaction a lot easier (usually) when it pertains to my biggest interests, which of course includes vintage, so it was a sincere pleasure to come and watch your wonderful presentation and then briefly hang out together afterwards. I'll always try to do so (health permitting) if you're in town and really do hope we get a chance to meetup in person again. Who knows, perhaps one of these days Tony and I will find our wanderlust filled souls taking us all the way out to Invermere. You never know! :)

      Many hugs & joyful May wishes,
      ♥ Jessica

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  27. Such a sweet post! Thank you for sharing these things about yourself and these thoughts with us. I love learning more about you, the woman behind the impeccable taste and genius eye. <3 It's great hearing your take on introverts and I like how you say there are all kinds of introverts as there are all kinds of extroverts. I have always felt that I am an introvert and am a shy person. Though I am also a leo and a rooster (under the chinese zodiac) so go figure that one! ;) Lovely post Jessica! <3

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    1. That is truly touching of you to say, sweet dear, thank you deeply. I love that you and Tony share being a Leo in common. I'm a Cancer and Rat (in Chinese Zodiac) myself, so we're all very close signs in terms of the astrological year.

      It's beautiful that you're introvert, too. Thank you for sharing that with me/us and again for your immensely lovely compliments.

      Giant hugs,
      ♥ Jessica

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  28. Thanks heavens for the internet so that we can get to know you!
    What an interesting and honest read, Jessica. xxx

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    1. Thank you very much, dear Vix. I'm so incredibly grateful for the web and the fact that it has allowed me to grow as a person in countless ways, while also connecting with fellow vintage lovers the world over. To say that it (the web) has been a game changer for me would be a major understatement and I'll always be grateful for the benefits that it's bestowed on my life - very much including the chance to meet amazing people like you.

      Tons of hugs,
      ♥ Jessica

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  29. Thank you for sharing this! I do recognize a lot of what you have been writing. I'm an introvert as well. Social interaction really takes a lot of energy and I need to recharge by being alone. My mind is very busy.

    I have so many thoughts. Indeed, many are nice, inspirational, creative, ecc. Others are more challenging.

    After being alone for a while I feel like I'm ready to face the world again. I do like to see my friends, and sometimes I feel guilty because I don't see them that much. But if I'm not listening to my body/mind I'm pushing myself too much and get burned out.

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    1. Precisely! I couldn't agree more across the board. I've even said to Tony before that I'm able to give others my all to the best of my abilities when I've had enough alone/recharging time first (and then, just as importantly, afterwards).

      It's wonderful that you're a fellow introvert, too, sweet Anthea. I really appreciate you sharing that fact about yourself with me/us here and love knowing that it's another terrific point we share in common.

      Tons of hugs & understanding always,
      ♥ Jessica

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  30. This was such an insightful post. I am an introvert too, so I found myself nodding as I read :) Thanks for sharing.
    The Artyologist

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    1. It's my true pleasure, dear Nicole. This is a post that had been swirling around in my (always busy :)) mind for quite some time now and we before we got into the dog days of summer, I really wanted to get my thoughts on the subject down on virtual paper. I'm sincerely happy to know that what I wrote resonated deeply with you, my lovely fellow introvert.

      Oodles of hugs,
      ♥ Jessica

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  31. Are you sure you didn't actually write this post about me? I was nodding and agreeing with every single sentence! I, too, love the freedom that blogging and social media gives me, and because of it I think I've become a bit less shy in person than I used to be.

    This reminds me of a meme I've seen on Pinterest, that says: "Introverts unite! Separately, of course, in our own homes." ;-)

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    1. That is such a great meme! I want to get it on a tee shirt one of these days. :)

      Thank you for your wonderful comment, sweet Grace, and for sharing that this post really echoed true for you as well, my fellow introvert.

      Tons of hugs,
      ♥ Jessica

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  32. You've really hit a nerve with so many of your readers, it seems, and for good reason! You have so beautifully summed up what the internet means to so many of us - without it I truly feel my life would not be as good quality as it is now. It's quite literally transformed who I am and the opportunities I've had and in the most amazing ways. Great post xx

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    1. Very well said, sweet CiCi. I too feel that my quality of life would take a noticeable hit if I didn't have the web any more, and hope that I never (for whatever bizarre and unknown reason) find myself in that boat. If I did though, I think that I'd be able to handle it better because of the time spent online and the countless gifts that it has given me - very much including making awesome, potentially lifelong friends, yourself super included, in the process.

      Thank you for your beautiful comment and for sharing what a profound impact that web has had on your world as well.

      Giant hugs,
      ♥ Jessica

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  33. Ah, I love this post. I have a family friend who is the most eloquent speaker via technology, but who can barely choke a word out during face to face conversations. The internet provides us with the ability to think before we speak (type) without feeling rushed, judged, etc. It really is a beautiful thing.

    I myself am an introvert, but I am not shy. I do find posting on new social media outlets can be daunting, and can definitely relate to you.

    xo Miss Betty Doll

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    1. It's awesome to hear from a non-shy introvert. We have so many parallels, but obvious differ in terms of our ability to feel at ease in social settings. I really appreciate that you commented (I was secretly hoping that at least one non-shy introvert would) and loved hearing more about how you find navigating the web from an introversion perspective to be.

      Huge hugs coming your way,
      ♥ Jessica

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  34. I used to get teased for turning red too. One time in class my glasses even fogged up! I can laugh now but... Like you, I love how the Internet is such a connecting point for all kinds of people. Thanks for this post.

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    1. Sweet Melanie, I'm sincerely sorry that you were teased for ability to blush at the drop of a hat as a youngster, too. It's been said many a time before, but is certainly warranted here, too, sadly, children can be so cruel (often without fully realizing the consequences of their actions) sometimes.

      Thank you for your lovely comment and for sharing that you can truly relate to what I wrote in this post. It's beautiful to see so many introverts convening together here as a result of this piece.

      Scores of hugs,
      ♥ Jessica

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  35. I had myself flagged up as an introvert, I'm very shy and always have been but when I did the Myers Briggs test a little while ago I was really surprised to find I flagged up as an extrovert, only 4% extrovert (which I must admit I thought was hysterical) but an extrovert non the less and it was a surprise. Having said that I have got better as I've got older. I'm never going to be in your face confident but I have found very often that making myself do things isn't as bad as I think it might be and that I can do things I would have been to terrified of before.

    But yes the internet is a great way to be yourself.

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    1. Objectively, I'm the first to admit that there is likely a wee speck of extroversion in most introverts, it simply comes down to settings where we're most comfortable and safe feeling. As an example, I, for one, have zero problem with public speaking and actually adore it so much that I could easily do it for a living given the chance. Ask me to go talk (one-on-one) to a total stranger on the street though, and my feet might suddenly become cemented in place and the ability to speak almost leave me (though I can usually muster the ability to do so in the end).

      Since I love it to bits and you brought up the topic, which Myers-Briggs type did you get? I've taken the test multiple times, with the first being when I was 16, and always get INFJ, which does describe me quite well (I'd say that I'm at least 90 - 95% of what it ascribes to such folks).

      Many hugs & thanks for your great comment,
      ♥ Jessica

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  36. This was such an interesting read and I found myself nodding in agreement to many parts of it. My mind is very busy too, sometimes too much, but on the whole I like the fact that I'm always thinking things up. I actively enjoy having time on my own and am now able to recognise, from a mental health perspective, when I really need to do more of that.

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    1. Ooohh, same here! My mind is like a magical TV with countless channels, most of which I really enjoy. It's great to have so much bopping around in the ol' noggin, isn't it? :)

      Thank you very much for your wonderfully nice comment, sweet dear. Do you consider yourself an introvert, too?

      Tons of hugs & happy weekend wishes,
      ♥ Jessica

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  37. Let me give you a hug.
    My dear gal,
    This post is "anything but.." kind of post. At one moment I got so overwhelmed, I needed a pause. Truly, many words have hit me hard - in a best possible way, and then I've saw the comments. None of us is alone - shy we may be, but not alone.
    One great thing about blogging (and other kinds of online existence) is that we can open up a bit by bit. Like you have said t, when faced with on obstacle of a kind, there IS a place we can go and ask for opinions. The "place" might not be a real one, but our "vintage online community" is, to me, like that small coffee house that we can hurdle in and feel cozy and accepted. :)
    We are never bored.
    There's lots to do. :)
    I have been re-reading the "16 personality test" (remember, we scored the same", and came back to that sentence explaining it all: "..need time alone to decompress and recharge, and to not become too alarmed when they suddenly withdraw"
    One thing is the key to our shy nature:
    Being alone is NOT being lonely.

    Amazing post.
    Heartwarming, courageous post.
    This is one post where you stand tall and let people see your "naked" self.
    So, my word, Jess:
    TWO THUMBS UP! :)

    M.

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    1. Thank you for your wise and wonderful comment, dear Marija, and for touching on the excellent point that many of us blossom slowly, opening up more and more about ourselves as time goes on. Very shy and/or introverted people rarely "over share", as the modern term goes, and often need to diligently work hard to even share much beyond surface level facts about ourselves/our pasts/our current lives (goodness knows such was the case for me).

      I completely agree!!! There have been times in my life when I was surrounded by people, even close friends or family, but felt devastatingly alone and/or misunderstood. I rarely equate my own sense of loneliness (which is very, very rare) with whether I'm technically alone or not. I think that those for whom such rings true are incredibly lucky and (they) do a very good job of navigating life as a solo pilot, which is rarely a bad thing in the slightest.

      It touches me, truly, to know that this post resonated so deeply with you, my sweet friend. It's a topic I've long know I wanted to cover in depth here, but not until this spring did the precise "sum of the whole" come to me and I thus I felt compelled to put (digital) pen to paper.

      Giant hugs & endless understanding,
      ♥ Jessica

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  38. I would qualify as an introvert too. However certain situations have made me come out of my shell and sometimes even stay out for a while :)
    Like you, the internet has become an important part of my life and has allowed me to open my eyes and be exposed to other things that would not be possible in "real" life.
    Hugs

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    1. That's an excellent point and scenario that I think many of us introverts find ourselves in at times - and it certainly isn't a bad thing in the slightest. Case in point, it might seem like an odd contradiction of terms, but I epicly love public speaking. Love it, love it, love it sooo much. Could happily do it for a living. Yet, get me off stage and in a small group of strangers and I'm often quieter than a tree stump and my nerves are all aflutter. Strange, I know, but I've learned that when it comes to introversion, as with so many things in life, it's often best to just roll with the punches and accept things for what they are, plain and simple. :)

      It's truly fantastic that the web has been so important and life changing for you as well, dear Lorena. It truly warms my heart to hear that and I just love that we were able to meet and forge an online friendship thanks to it.

      Tons of hugs from one introvert to another,
      ♥ Jessica

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  39. Great post, Jess. And there is no doubt you are a fish in the water writing your blog, which I have loved for several years and read EVERY word of. But I still think you have to balance your online time with offline working all that creativity out and creating something fabulous (which I'm sure you will). I think I am in between too like Tony, I think most people is. But when I broke seriously down with stress about 3 years ago, I became more introvert, and I am very aware of it. I need more time alone, I need to enjoy the silence and be more creative. And I have SO many thoughts in my head that I often wish I could turn them off. I have never ever felt bored. As a child my mom said that only stupid children felt bored, and we were definately not stupid. ;) But what I do hate is that nowadays you always have to be put in a box, it is practical and then you know where your are. I think we all have the right to be different. Son has ADHD, but he is truly the most loved person I know (everybody wants to adopt him and he gets every job he applies for) and he has a super fine education. The medicine didn't work on him, so he did not become like everybody else, and I think it's good! So embrace your introversy (is that a word?) and I will enjoy everything that comes from you hands (and pc). Have a lovely day, dear. PS: My fabulous greenhouse was done yesterday, now my busy paver son just needs to lay some stones. :D

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    1. Hello my wonderfully dear friend, thank you for your touhing, wonderful comment and for sharing so much about the role that introversion has played in the lives of yourself and your son. We were raised with that same sentiment regarding boredom in my family, too, and while I'm more broadminded and don't echo it myself, I do think that there's a grain of truth to the fact that creative people are better at starving off boredom.

      It's in wee (!) bits, but I promise you that I have getting a tiny bit better at balancing life and work - and certainly excursions like our brief road trip last month (my first post on which just went live yesterday) certainly help a good deal on that front.

      How exciting!!! I'm really happy for you and hope that you're able to enjoy many fabulous years with your beautiful new greenhouse (that is made all the more special by the fact that it was constructed with the help of people, including your son, that you love).

      You know, I don't believe that "introversy" is a word, but I think it should be and adore it to bits. :)

      Things are well - busy as usual - on this end lately and though yesterday and (so far) today have been grey and rainy, temperature wise, we're definitely heading towards summer in a hurry - which I'm delighted about.

      Huge hugs & many sincere thanks again for your terrific comment,
      ♥ Jessica

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  40. This post spoke so much to me! As a shy introvert I've always felt that 'lonely-in-a-crowded-room' feeling the few times I do venture outside of my comfort zone. People are also very surprised to find out how shy I really am because as a performer I have no qualms about being on stage singing or acting, and I even come across as quite an extrovert (until I walk backstage!), but ask me to stand up and speak at a meeting or in front of a roomful of people I don't know and I completely collapse. I suppose it's the difference between 'acting' words someone else has written as opposed to speaking my own!

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    1. That makes complete and total sense, sweet dear. Thank you very much for sharing more about yourself and your own introversion with me/us. I truly appreciate it and enjoyed getting to know you better.

      Interestingly, I absolutely adore public speaking and am far more comfortable, as a general rule, doing so than talking in small groups or one-on-one with strangers. I fully and completely understand though that such does not ring true for all shy and/or introverted people in the slightest, and that it's a bit of a paradox for me to be that way. Proof positive that few of us, even when it comes to being introverts, fit into the same "boxes", so to speak.

      Thank you again for sharing about yourself, my fellow introvert.

      Many hugs & endless understanding,
      ♥ Jessica

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