New computer, new month, new approaches

March, the bridge of a month between the icy chill of winter and the first beams of spring's toasty sunlight is here and that point alone has me smiling up a storm. Add to it the fact that my new Dell laptop reached me at long last and I'm one very happy camper at the moment!

There's still some setting up, configuring and file transferring to do, but that will all get taken care of soon enough and the main point is that it's here and I was able to type these very words on it.

Naturally, I have a fair bit to catch up on from the past month and my blogging schedule for the first half of the spring has been thrown for an absolute loop (and then some!) because of the fact that I was computer-less for all of February, but as with most things in life, everything will get straightened out sooner or later and I'm trying not to worry too much about it.

Truth be told, I'm trying to worry less in general. I'm a natural worrier and I've battled various type of anxiety my whole life, so stress - especially unforeseen stress - tends to hit me hard.

During the past few weeks of being sans computer, one might have thought (understandably) that I might have taken a bit of a much needed breather, but instead I was hard at work doing as many non-computer dependent things for my blog and my Etsy shop as I could (from outfit shoots with Tony to sorting recently acquired merchandise).

Yet, in the midst of such things, I was able to find time for some areas of my life that I haven't focused on nearly enough in recent years (such as taking more outdoor walks), cataloging all of my modern books, and most importantly of all, reinforcing the concept that I simply must look at my work (blog, shop, and the other websites, such as Any New Books, that Tony and I run) as more of a 9 - 5 job.

At present, health permitting, I usually put in 40 - 80+ weeks between running this blog and my Etsy shop, plus at least several more hours for our other websites, each week. Each is a labour of love and I certainly won't be retiring off these efforts anytime soon.

When it comes to my blog and shop though, money has never been - and will never be (especially regarding my blog) the sole reason why I launched them in the first place (a love of vintage and desire to share in this passion with other like-minded people was a huge driving force behind both). It doesn't take a rocket scientist to tell you however, that such a heavy pace is not only a recipe for burnout, but ultimately a less than healthy way to approach your work.

We each need and are entitled to down-time and to have clearly distinct lines between what is work and what is personal time. Can, and do, the two sometimes overlap, you bet your bottom dollar they do - especially when, like myself, you're self-employed - but in this ever more digital world, it's important to remember that we (usually) have the ability to set boundaries and to define how we connect with things, our jobs very much included, on our terms.

I know that in order to keep on thriving, and moreover, genuinely enjoying, my time online and the world that I've built here, I must continue to have better defined work and off-time hours and that, at least once in a while, I have to take full days off and not feel almost cripplingly guilty (generally for zero legit reason) about doing so - and if you're in the same boat, too, I truly hope that you'll be able to do so as well.

I don't say all of this to lead up to any sort of announcement about radical changes, retirement plans, or complete overhauls of my life - not in the slightest.

I say it, in no small part, to help hold myself accountable in terms of separating work from off time more frequently. To remind myself that I am less stressed and far happier when I create time to take nature walks with Tony and Annie, curl up with a good book and Stella on my lap, spend a whole day just visiting friends, rearranging my closet, cooking meals to freeze for future dinners, or who knows, maybe even finally crafting again.

{This matters just as much, when all is said and done, as this does...}

{First image source & second image source}

In doing so, I am able to give more of myself - in terms of the quality of the focused, clearly defined work hours that I put in - and to create an ecosystem that, hopefully, holds far more longevity than burning the candle at both ends until there's nothing but a fizzled out wick stump left.

I believe that we work better, smarter, and healthier when we balance the drive and goals of our career with the other passions in our lives, and though I've rarely been a shining example of practising such in the last few years in particular, I'm vowing - even as a natural born workaholic - to work on changing that.

It's not so much that I plan to work considerably less (I don’t), but rather that I will better define when and how I work, and set boundaries. If I need to post slightly less often here to do that, so be it. If I photograph a few less items for my shop each month, so be it. If I take a little longer to reply to never-ending mountain of work related emails in my inbox, so be it.

These things matter, undeniably, but they aren't the only ones that count and when the end comes for each of us as we look back on our lives, it won't be that we didn't have time to post anything on social media on some random Tuesday in August or the fact that we were five minutes late to the office on Friday January 12th that we'll regret. No, it will be the moments with family, pets, loved ones, nature, travel, great books, our spiritual paths, and our passions that we'll wonder, could I have made more time for?

Chances are, the answer is yes and it doesn't have to mean a total 180 of how you live in the slightest. And that is the beauty of it all. We're here now and we can continue to balance the scales, give a better version of ourselves to both areas of our lives, and find, in the process, that we're happier, healthier, and far less stressed.

I walked away from a month of being computer-less with this concept at the forefront of my mind, and I will embark on life spent with my new laptop better equipped to delegate my time spent on it due in no small part to this unplanned hiatus.

Lessons are everywhere, we just have to keep our hearts and minds open to them.

I feel the winds of change blowing (and I love it!)

Despite my darling husband sometimes playfully teasing me that the opposite is true, I am not afraid of change in the slightest and rarely shy away from it. However, that doesn't mean I necessarily go out of my way to introduce it into my life 24/7 either.

Like many of us, I have my usual routine. It isn't always perfect, and sometimes (aka, everyday!) there aren't anywhere near hours in the day, but it's mine and I can become rather steadfastly attached to it. Until, that is, I grow weary and restless with with it and certain other elements of my life (not, mind you, my “dedicated days” work schedule - that is life changingly amazing and not budging an inch any time soon!).

Ever since I came back from visiting Calgary in the fall of 2013, which was a profoundly important trip for me (as I delved into in this post), I've been doing an even greater amount of soul searching and introspective thought than ever before. I frequently feel like certain things need be altered, yet they remain exactly as they are because other bigger issues, points of stress, or worries come along and knock them squarely onto the back burner.

At this stage in my life, a few weeks before my 31st birthday, my heart and soul feel very, very open to change, as well as to both embracing new opportunities - whatever they may be - and getting in touch again with certain things that I love doing dearly, but haven't been kind enough to myself to make time for, in many instances, years now.

I realize that such statements sound a touch vague, and that's intentional. This isn't because I don't want to share the details of such with all of you, but rather because in many cases, I don't even know exactly what those changes will be yet myself. I just know, that like a runner bracing themselves on the starting line, I'm ready to burst forward and turn over a lot of new leaves - or so I hope!



{There is a certain almost palpable quality to the air when the winds of change pick up. I feel recharged thanks to it and am so excited to see where it will lead me this year and beyond. Vintage image source.}



That said, here are a few things that I'd really like, and am planning, to change in the coming months:


-Take actual days off. If we exclude days when my health keeps me bedridden and unable to do pretty much anything at all, which I don't feel should count because I have zero choice in the matter, I haven't taken a single day off this year and can (excluding our trip to Victoria last fall, which I did a lot of work related things on all the same) count on one hand the number I took last year.

Not kidding there in the slightest. And I put in long days. I mean like an average of 12 - 20+ hour workdays, which my health pays quite often, I know, but as a lifelong workaholic, it's genuinely hard for to be any other way. That said, I know, I know, I know oh-so-well that I must take days off at least once or twice a month and am going to try even harder to push myself to do so.


-And while I am, I'm going to craft. I love crafting, it's been near and dear to my heart my whole life, but you wouldn't know it from my blog. I have a dedicated craft room in our little basement that in recent times has doubled as my home office + photo studio + where I store inventory for my Etsy shop and I have not actually crafted in it, for all intents, for about 2.5 years. I literally shudder when I stop and reflect on that. I'm all for hard work, being driven, and pushing yourself, but every last one of us needs to stop and enjoy a hobby or two every now and then and I absolutely must get back to creating once more.


-I feel like some of my blog posts series and/or certain topics I cover are getting a bit staid/old (and not "old" in a good, vintage kind of way!) and aren't as popular as they once were, so I may be retiring some and/or introducing others later in the year.


-Speaking of my blog, looking ahead to late 2015 and beyond (aka, after this coming summer), I think that I'm going to scale back just a touch on my posting frequency. I madly adore writing and blogging and could do so almost everyday, but there is a great deal of behind the scenes work that goes into posting - as any frequent blogger who puts a lot of effort into their posts will quickly tell you - and in order to keep my blog and shop both going strong, I need to take a little bit of that time and apply it to other areas of my work and home life alike, as well as to those mythical days off.


-I need to spend more time outside. Sometimes that isn't possible and I fully accept that, but nothing, and I mean nothing, in the whole universe soothes my soul (as discussed in posts such as this one and this one) like connecting with nature and genuinely require that sense of serenity in my life.


-Worry less. Plain and simple. Tony recently reminded me of the importance of just going with life's natural flow and that's something I'm trying to embrace on an even deeper level these days.


-Weed out more "time sucks" from my life, be they online or off (this is something I've been doing for quite a while now, but there's always room to cut down on or entirely remove others still).


-Try a new wig. I love my current wig and it's been a very good friend to me for over 2.5 years (not literally the same wig, but the same model - I go through a new one every 3 to 6 months or so, just depending on the weather/heat and how often I wear it), but I've been jonseing for both darker and, even more so, shorter hair, so I'm planning on purchasing one soon (I hope) that fits this bill.

I've actually tried several other wigs since becoming a wig wearer due to medical hair loss in 2012, but none of them have worked well or looked flatting on me, so that's part of the reason I've stayed with my current one for so long (and why the others that didn't pan out haven't made it onto my blog). Time to at least try another wig - worst case, I'll return or resell it. No biggie - especially since I know that I can rely on my current one so long as its still being produced.

♥ ♥ ♥

Again, these are just a few things. The real key here is somewhat less about specifics and more about being open and ready for change. Hopefully most of it will be positive, but even if some negatives happen, I'll embrace them and hunt down the silver linings that they house, for there is one in very nearly every situation in life (that's been a guiding principle of mine ever since I was a child).

Spring, which we're about 2/3rds of the way through at this point (can that really be?!) is such an important time of rebirth and growth, and I think that is a big part of the reason why, amidst the April showers and May flowers, I've been feeling the winds of change blowing lately.

I'm really glad that they’re out in full (gale) force and hope that they'll continue to propel me forward for a long time to come!

Are you also feeling ready for change in your life this spring? What sorts of things would you like to see happen for you on that front in the weeks and months ahead?

Who owns your time?

This was not the post that I had planned to write today. Nope, not in the slightest. With any luck that one will be penned soon and appear here next week, instead I felt that the topic at hand in the following entry was weighing too heavily on my mind not to share about it and by total coincidence (or not, the subconscious being the wily creature that it is), it relates in part at least to my previous post (11 questions and answers about my life as a blogger) here this week on Tuesday.

Last week, in the midst of a challenging and emotionally charged day, while talking with Tony about some of my thoughts and feelings pertaining to how my days are frequently being spent, the topic of "who owns your time" arose. I was the one who said it, but we both spoke for a while on the subject. I should preface that discussion however by explaining that it's not uncommon for me, and I'm sure many of us, to feel not only as though there is not enough hours in the days, but that we're often not able to utilize those hours in the way that, ideally, we'd most like to.

I'm not talking about some pie-in-sky kind of perfect world, where money isn't an issue, you can sip tropical fruit drinks with wee paper umbrellas in them from dawn to dusk on a glistening Caribbean beach, and where nothing ever comes along that stresses you out or throws a wrench into your plans. If such a life actually exists for anyone, I've yet to hear tell of it.

No, what I mean is that in context of the daily grind, it can be all too easy to wear your fingers to the bone, so to speak, day after day, week after week, month after month and feel like you're either just spinning your wheels or worse, falling behind. Or, a third option, making progress and doing some of the things you'd like, but at no where near the speed, volume of accomplishment, energy level, etc that you'd like.

To a degree, this is normal - especially for those of us who dream big and are workaholics (two camps I fall squarely into). It's always better to have more things that you hope to achieve than there are hours in the week, month, year or even lifetime. Striving for goals is incredibly important, as is, to my mind at least, keeping one's self busy in so much as their circumstances will permit.

But what of this busyness? Is it trust upon us or did we introduce it into our lives ourselves? In most cases, it's a blend of both and again, that is perfectly fine in so much as in the midst of it all, one is still able to connect with happiness. Their own personal sense of happiness, that is, on a regular (if not, ideally, daily) basis. By the same token though, you don't want to be so busy that you work yourself into an early grave and/or cause serious damage to your health while you're still here.

We all have an incredibly finite amount of time on this planet. Life is precious and wonderful, glorious and challenging all at the same time and each day that we deposit into the bank of the past, is one less we have to draw on in the future.

The world today is a strange and fascinating place. Of course it has been for every generation, but the mind blowing number of ways in which things have changed in the past few decades is unprecedented and how most of us, especially those who tech and/or web savvy to at least some degree, interact with it is staggeringly different from how generations past went about their lives. Of course we all still eat, sleep, form loving relationships, have jobs and the like, but we also have phones in our pockets, computers in our hands, and certain demands on our time that are a 20th century invention.

Our great-grandmothers may have had to devote an entire day or two to washing their laundry, genuinely arduous and commendable work indeed, but did they have 264 emails that needed a reply waiting for them on Monday morning? Did someone chew them out because they didn't instantly "like" that person's Facebook status update, and for that matter, did they broadcast their day for all the world to see and hear about? No, no, and no.

Less you think I'm against technology and the web, by and large, I'm not in the slightest. I'm incredibly grateful for the internet, which has given me - no joke - everything from my husband (we met online in March 2004) to my current career to some of the dearest and most treasured friends I've ever known.

I acknowledge though, that we as a species were not meant (to quote myself in a recent email with one of those very friends) sit in front of our own personal electronic suns all day. Periodically, I will intentionally take a day or two where I do not turn on my computer or check my cell phone (save for if an Etsy shop related message or sale needs my attention).

Frequently I'll also skip watching any TV or movies and instead throw myself into either working my tail off doing productive things like shooting photos for shop listings, writing snail mail letters, crafting (though that's something that, sadly, I've had virtually no time to do in recent years and which I plan to remedy at least a bit in 2015), organizing something around the house that really needs it, yard saling, visiting loved ones, or conversely, simply taking it as easy as possible, usually with Tony and our pets by my side.

On the days when I'm super productive (offline), I'm nearly always floored by not only how much I'm able to get done, but by how happy - glowingly so, I would say - I am at the end of the day in most cases. I had one of of these days this past Sunday and even Tony commented on how happy he could tell I was in the evening, because I'd been free to do as I please with my time, being delightfully productive in the process, all day long.



{In this demanding day and age, for our health and sanity alike, we must make a point to treasure our time and try to use it in ways that bring us joy, make us feel productive, and that impart more positives than negatives into our already demanding lives. Image source.}


In truth, I set that Sunday aside to be spent like that as a direct result of our recent conversation about time management and just who exactly does own one's time? Chances are you need to devote some of your time to your job and to other people, that it can often feel like they're calling the shoots. In some cases, such as with your boss or young children, they may be. That's normal. However it's truly important to be able to see the forest for the trees some days.

If, as I frequently do, you feel like your day isn't being spent quite how you'd want, step back and ask yourself why that is? I know that a large factor for me is the unpredictable nature of my health and very limited number of "good days" I have, coupled with perpetually diminished energy stores. I can go to bed on Wednesday night with grand plans for Thursday only to wake up too ill because of one or more of my chronic medical conditions and scarcely be able to muster the pep needed to hold my head up, let alone do anything productive.

I've long accepted that this is my reality and made as much peace with it as one reasonably can, but that doesn't mean that it can't still frustrate me and leave me feeling somewhat powerless at times. Of course this is not the only factor in why I sometimes feel that my time isn't my own to do as I want with. Life's countless curveballs, the fact that I live with someone else (my husband) and have pets, family happenings, even the weather (this being Canada after all) can each play a factor there as well, as can work related happenings and various other things.

Life is a continual balancing act. We'll never get everything spot on right, but hopefully we're not in a place where everything is terribly wrong either. It's important to take a breather - and spend time away from the computer, if needed - and access how you're spending your day. Is it the way that you really want to be doing so, and if not, why is that the case? You might not be able (or want) to quite your current job. Your aging parents may need your help for a few hours each week. Your young children will of course require huge sums of your time (and chances are, you love this fact - they're only young once after all), and your spouse will certainly want you to pop your head out of your craft room at least once in a while. :)

However, just as many diet plans instruct you to look for hidden calories and ways that you can ditch negative foods, so too can you take stock of your day and determine where and when you might be able to free up some time or reassign it to a usage that makes you feel more content and productive. Even if you're already burning the candle at both ends, and arguably perhaps even more so if such is the case, you can likely make some changes that will reduce your stress (and, if applicable, anxiety) levels and leave you feeling more like you're in control of your own life.

This can often start with politely saying no to taking on more work, whatever that work may be. It can also mean that you have to let go of some things and perhaps even relationships (of the negative or toxic variety, I mean) and reconnect more deeply with those that have long mattered the most to you.

Tony, in the course of our discussion, asked me how I would spend my day the next day (a Friday) if I could do as I pleased from start to finish. Believe it or not, this question took me aback. I'm so used to working from my never-ending checklist of do-to tasks and to being there for other peoples' needs (which usually entails my own time) that I don't know if I'd ever thought to look at my day like that (honestly!). I spelled it out and he replied by saying "Then that's what you'll do".

It was an empowering and touching sentiment, however for various reasons (such as the delivery of a new mattress and box spring because we weren't thrilled with the ones we had recently purchased in October and decided to switch them with another set, as per the agreement that allows you to do once from the company that we bought them from) my plans didn't happen for the most. And yet...

I found that even just having thought about my day from such a clear and lovely viewpoint, made the whole thing considerably more enjoyable. There was a lightness to my step and a refreshed sense of joy in my heart. I didn't do most of what I'd laid out in my fictitious Friday plans, but I gained something even more important than had I done so. I realized that I own my own time.

Seriously.

And so do you. We may bestow some of it on others, lend it to our employers, barter with it for things we want, and bemoan that there's never enough of it, but ultimately, each of us has the incredibly good fortunate of owning our own time. We can plan and dream and achieve. If something isn't making us happy, feels like a time sink, or just doesn't sit right with us, ideally we can let it go or change the amount of time we devote to it.

I know this all sounds easier said than done, and you're right, it is, but as an exercise in self-betterment, I encourage you to stop and think how you'd like to honestly spend tomorrow, taking those obligations that we can't change into account.

Would you finally put those film camera photos from fourteen years ago into albums? Would you spend all day reading a great book? Would you take a hike with your dog? Plan next year's vacation? Bring your kids to the museum? Go on a 24 hour road trip with your spouse, throw yourself into being productive, clean your house from top to bottom, give your day to volunteer work, or simply put your feet up and do nothing at all other than savour the many joys and merits of serenity?

Having established that much, seriously assess how much you can do to make that happen? If you can't read all day, can you hop off Facebook and read for an hour or two? Chance are the printed word will do far more for your mind, body and soul alike than Buzzfeed lists ever could.

Moving forward from that recent discussion with Tony, I continue to feel more empowered, which is truly refreshing and welcome. Will all of my days go as I plan and be filled with only things I want to do (either for business or pleasure)? Of course not, that wouldn't be realistic for one red second, but they can all begin and end with the same incredibly important truth. When it comes to who not only owns, but manages, my time, the answer will always remain the same: I do.

And that, my dears, is something that rings true for each of you as well. So the next time you feel overwhelmed and like your days aren't going your way, spare a moment (or however many you need) and genuinely, kindly remind yourself that you're already doing so much and that you have the right to choose, at least to a degree, where your time goes. Take it from me, once you've realized this, you'll be amazed by how many extra minutes and even hours sometimes it suddenly feels like you've gained.

For, far too often, it is our stress and worry laden minds that are even more busy than our bodies and hands, and which need to be told that it's okay to hop of the merry-go-round and journey on down a new, straight path that we've forged for ourselves, one beautiful day at a time.