The topic of today’s post is a serious and somber one, I will tell you that up front from the very get-go. It’s a subject I've thought about numerous times throughout the course of my adult life, and I think its one that will resonate with a good many of you as well.
I'm 31 years old and have been happily married for close to eleven years now. I do not have any children yet and don't know for sure if I ever will (due to infertility and other medical related reasons). I have a small family and a few close real world friends (few of whom live anywhere near me), as well as the blessing of many amazing online friends. I'm chronically ill and battle a multiple of very serious medical conditions; periodically I end up in the hospital and at times require surgery of one kind or another. And lastly, I live in a small town that does not have any vintage clothing shops (my province as whole is greatly lacking in such stores).
These points might seem a bit disassociated, but I mention them all because the relate directly to the heart of today's post: what would happen to your vintage wardrobe and/or collection if you died?
Before going any further, I need to state emphatically that I am not to the best of my knowledge at imminent risk of dying and am not writing this post because I think that such might be the case in the near future. However, it would be foolhardy of someone in my medical situation not to think about this topic, and even if I was the healthiest person on the face of the earth, I believe that I would still pause to give it thought sometimes.
It is not pleasant as a general rule to think about one's own mortality or what will become of our worldly possessions after we've passed away, but it is one of those things that is better to discuss and approach up front while you have the chance, than to leave your loved ones to deal with it entirely on their own after you're gone.
I've been collecting vintage items and building a vintage wardrobe for many years now, and while most of the items I own aren't particularly expensive on an individual basis, as a whole my collection (not to mention the stock I have for my Etsy shop) certainly has a decent worth and is not something I would ever want to see simply end up being donated or (much worse!) thrown away after I was gone.
Don't get me wrong, I think it's wonderful to donate clothing and other items to worthwhile charities and do so at least twice a year, however in the case of my vintage wardrobe and collection of other items (such as books and magazines), I would like to think of them going to people who are guaranteed to continue to give them a truly loving, vintage friendly home (again, yes, I realize that some of them could end up in such homes if donated, but there's no guarantee of that, especially when you live somewhere like I do that does not have any kind of a vintage centered community).
{Though your vintage shoe collection might not be quite as big as Joan Crawford's was, chances are your ever-expanding vintage wardrobe and the other array of yesteryear items you've been gathering from quite some time now has amassed into a sizable collection, of which, some day, you and/or your loved ones will have to decide what to do with after you're gone. Image source.}
If something happened to me, I certainly wouldn't except (or necessarily even want - keeping such things around might cause more pain for him) my husband to hold onto my vintage items for the rest of time. He might remarry or develop a long-term relationship with someone else and I highly doubt they'd want a bunch of their partner's deceased wife's items cluttering up their home either.
The task would fall to him (and, assuming she was still with us, my beloved mother) however to figure out what to do with my things (vintage and otherwise) if the worst did happen to me, and I'd like to try and make that easier on him while I'm alive and kickin', so that it would be one less thing on his mind while he was grieving.
For some people, it might be possible to leave their vintage collections to their children (daughters in particular, especially if they've shown an interest in vintage themselves), but others might not have children, know that their kids don't want (or have room for) their vintage collections, and some of us do not have children (and may never).
If you're fortunate to have one of more family members or close friends who share your passion for the past, that is obviously a good option, but again, you'd want to make sure that it wouldn't be an imposition (in terms of storage space especially) for your loved one(s) to suddenly add all (or at least most of) your vintage items to their home.
Should you happen to have especially rare or valuable items (which I do not), you could possibly leave them in your will to a museum or historical society who could continue to preserve them. Likewise (and here value matters far less), you could leave your clothing, shoes and accessories to a theater, opera company, or other performing arts organization or group who could benefit from them.
For those who live in a town with vintage or antique shops that specialize in the kinds of items you have, it may be possible for your spouse or another loved one to sell your items to such a store after you're gone. By the same token, selling to a private collector might be another option, as would having a vintage estate sale, though in the case of the latter much more than the former, you don't know for sure where your items might wind up.
These are certainly not all of the possible options out there (nor have all the points related to the ones stated here been explored to their absolute fullest), but they're some of the most plausible and (I'd venture to say) frequent situations that our family members will encounter after we're gone (even if - as I hope dearly is the case – you live for another forty, fifty, sixty, or more years, eventually each of us will pass on, and there's no sense in not thinking about what will happen to our belongings while we're still alive).
Short of leaving them to a child or family member (again, I don't believe any of my current relatives would want much or any of my vintage collection, not being vintage/antique fans themselves), which would be my ideal situation, I would love to bestow them on one or more friends.
There again though, my real world friends who are vintage fans and most of my online ones both live in other Canadian provinces and different countries around the world (thus shipping my whole - or even part of - my collection could be an exorbitant expense), so that might not be very likely either. If you had a dear online friend who could come collect your vintage items in person, such as with a rented trailer, that could be a great option.
As things stand right this very moment, I genuinely do not know what would become of my vintage collection (which would likely take someone - especially someone who was not overly knowledgeable about types of items I have and their worth - a long time to sell on a piece-by-piece or small lot basis either online or offline) if the unthinkable occurred today, tomorrow, next week or beyond.
I suspect that involving the vintage community - you, my dear readers - through my blog itself would be one avenue that Tony might pursue, but (and we've talked about this topic point blank) even there the question remains as to in what way (or which ways) this would play out. There is no easy answer now, and I know that this is a subject I will continue to think about until one (or more) solutions is forthcoming.
Though there might not be many other vintage lovers around these parts, there are certainly scores more out there around the world and this is a situation I'd imagine most of us will eventually find ourselves in. Or, more technically, our relatives and spouses with find themselves in, at some point, if we plan (and most of us do) to hold onto our vintage collections for the duration of our lives.
As I said from the onset, this topic is serious one. It's neither easy nor pleasant for most to discuss or think about, but I believe that both of these things need to be done. Many of us might be young now, but age alone does not prevent an unforeseeable end from befalling any one of us at any moment in time.
Please, by all means, feel free to share your thoughts and ideas on this topic. Have you pondered it before yourself, too? Do you already know what will happen to your vintage items after your death? What would be your ideal situation?
I sincerely hope that this post didn't bring anyone down. That certainly wasn't my intention. I just thought that it was high time we broached a topic that affects all of us (what will happen to our vintage items once we're gone) at one point or another.
Ultimately, there is no right or wrong approach here, only the one that works well for you and your family.
