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December 11, 2014

Who owns your time?


This was not the post that I had planned to write today. Nope, not in the slightest. With any luck that one will be penned soon and appear here next week, instead I felt that the topic at hand in the following entry was weighing too heavily on my mind not to share about it and by total coincidence (or not, the subconscious being the wily creature that it is), it relates in part at least to my previous post (11 questions and answers about my life as a blogger) here this week on Tuesday.

Last week, in the midst of a challenging and emotionally charged day, while talking with Tony about some of my thoughts and feelings pertaining to how my days are frequently being spent, the topic of "who owns your time" arose. I was the one who said it, but we both spoke for a while on the subject. I should preface that discussion however by explaining that it's not uncommon for me, and I'm sure many of us, to feel not only as though there is not enough hours in the days, but that we're often not able to utilize those hours in the way that, ideally, we'd most like to.

I'm not talking about some pie-in-sky kind of perfect world, where money isn't an issue, you can sip tropical fruit drinks with wee paper umbrellas in them from dawn to dusk on a glistening Caribbean beach, and where nothing ever comes along that stresses you out or throws a wrench into your plans. If such a life actually exists for anyone, I've yet to hear tell of it.

No, what I mean is that in context of the daily grind, it can be all too easy to wear your fingers to the bone, so to speak, day after day, week after week, month after month and feel like you're either just spinning your wheels or worse, falling behind. Or, a third option, making progress and doing some of the things you'd like, but at no where near the speed, volume of accomplishment, energy level, etc that you'd like.

To a degree, this is normal - especially for those of us who dream big and are workaholics (two camps I fall squarely into). It's always better to have more things that you hope to achieve than there are hours in the week, month, year or even lifetime. Striving for goals is incredibly important, as is, to my mind at least, keeping one's self busy in so much as their circumstances will permit.

But what of this busyness? Is it trust upon us or did we introduce it into our lives ourselves? In most cases, it's a blend of both and again, that is perfectly fine in so much as in the midst of it all, one is still able to connect with happiness. Their own personal sense of happiness, that is, on a regular (if not, ideally, daily) basis. By the same token though, you don't want to be so busy that you work yourself into an early grave and/or cause serious damage to your health while you're still here.

We all have an incredibly finite amount of time on this planet. Life is precious and wonderful, glorious and challenging all at the same time and each day that we deposit into the bank of the past, is one less we have to draw on in the future.

The world today is a strange and fascinating place. Of course it has been for every generation, but the mind blowing number of ways in which things have changed in the past few decades is unprecedented and how most of us, especially those who tech and/or web savvy to at least some degree, interact with it is staggeringly different from how generations past went about their lives. Of course we all still eat, sleep, form loving relationships, have jobs and the like, but we also have phones in our pockets, computers in our hands, and certain demands on our time that are a 20th century invention.

Our great-grandmothers may have had to devote an entire day or two to washing their laundry, genuinely arduous and commendable work indeed, but did they have 264 emails that needed a reply waiting for them on Monday morning? Did someone chew them out because they didn't instantly "like" that person's Facebook status update, and for that matter, did they broadcast their day for all the world to see and hear about? No, no, and no.

Less you think I'm against technology and the web, by and large, I'm not in the slightest. I'm incredibly grateful for the internet, which has given me - no joke - everything from my husband (we met online in March 2004) to my current career to some of the dearest and most treasured friends I've ever known.

I acknowledge though, that we as a species were not meant (to quote myself in a recent email with one of those very friends) sit in front of our own personal electronic suns all day. Periodically, I will intentionally take a day or two where I do not turn on my computer or check my cell phone (save for if an Etsy shop related message or sale needs my attention).

Frequently I'll also skip watching any TV or movies and instead throw myself into either working my tail off doing productive things like shooting photos for shop listings, writing snail mail letters, crafting (though that's something that, sadly, I've had virtually no time to do in recent years and which I plan to remedy at least a bit in 2015), organizing something around the house that really needs it, yard saling, visiting loved ones, or conversely, simply taking it as easy as possible, usually with Tony and our pets by my side.

On the days when I'm super productive (offline), I'm nearly always floored by not only how much I'm able to get done, but by how happy - glowingly so, I would say - I am at the end of the day in most cases. I had one of of these days this past Sunday and even Tony commented on how happy he could tell I was in the evening, because I'd been free to do as I please with my time, being delightfully productive in the process, all day long.



{In this demanding day and age, for our health and sanity alike, we must make a point to treasure our time and try to use it in ways that bring us joy, make us feel productive, and that impart more positives than negatives into our already demanding lives. Image source.}


In truth, I set that Sunday aside to be spent like that as a direct result of our recent conversation about time management and just who exactly does own one's time? Chances are you need to devote some of your time to your job and to other people, that it can often feel like they're calling the shoots. In some cases, such as with your boss or young children, they may be. That's normal. However it's truly important to be able to see the forest for the trees some days.

If, as I frequently do, you feel like your day isn't being spent quite how you'd want, step back and ask yourself why that is? I know that a large factor for me is the unpredictable nature of my health and very limited number of "good days" I have, coupled with perpetually diminished energy stores. I can go to bed on Wednesday night with grand plans for Thursday only to wake up too ill because of one or more of my chronic medical conditions and scarcely be able to muster the pep needed to hold my head up, let alone do anything productive.

I've long accepted that this is my reality and made as much peace with it as one reasonably can, but that doesn't mean that it can't still frustrate me and leave me feeling somewhat powerless at times. Of course this is not the only factor in why I sometimes feel that my time isn't my own to do as I want with. Life's countless curveballs, the fact that I live with someone else (my husband) and have pets, family happenings, even the weather (this being Canada after all) can each play a factor there as well, as can work related happenings and various other things.

Life is a continual balancing act. We'll never get everything spot on right, but hopefully we're not in a place where everything is terribly wrong either. It's important to take a breather - and spend time away from the computer, if needed - and access how you're spending your day. Is it the way that you really want to be doing so, and if not, why is that the case? You might not be able (or want) to quite your current job. Your aging parents may need your help for a few hours each week. Your young children will of course require huge sums of your time (and chances are, you love this fact - they're only young once after all), and your spouse will certainly want you to pop your head out of your craft room at least once in a while. :)

However, just as many diet plans instruct you to look for hidden calories and ways that you can ditch negative foods, so too can you take stock of your day and determine where and when you might be able to free up some time or reassign it to a usage that makes you feel more content and productive. Even if you're already burning the candle at both ends, and arguably perhaps even more so if such is the case, you can likely make some changes that will reduce your stress (and, if applicable, anxiety) levels and leave you feeling more like you're in control of your own life.

This can often start with politely saying no to taking on more work, whatever that work may be. It can also mean that you have to let go of some things and perhaps even relationships (of the negative or toxic variety, I mean) and reconnect more deeply with those that have long mattered the most to you.

Tony, in the course of our discussion, asked me how I would spend my day the next day (a Friday) if I could do as I pleased from start to finish. Believe it or not, this question took me aback. I'm so used to working from my never-ending checklist of do-to tasks and to being there for other peoples' needs (which usually entails my own time) that I don't know if I'd ever thought to look at my day like that (honestly!). I spelled it out and he replied by saying "Then that's what you'll do".

It was an empowering and touching sentiment, however for various reasons (such as the delivery of a new mattress and box spring because we weren't thrilled with the ones we had recently purchased in October and decided to switch them with another set, as per the agreement that allows you to do once from the company that we bought them from) my plans didn't happen for the most. And yet...

I found that even just having thought about my day from such a clear and lovely viewpoint, made the whole thing considerably more enjoyable. There was a lightness to my step and a refreshed sense of joy in my heart. I didn't do most of what I'd laid out in my fictitious Friday plans, but I gained something even more important than had I done so. I realized that I own my own time.

Seriously.

And so do you. We may bestow some of it on others, lend it to our employers, barter with it for things we want, and bemoan that there's never enough of it, but ultimately, each of us has the incredibly good fortunate of owning our own time. We can plan and dream and achieve. If something isn't making us happy, feels like a time sink, or just doesn't sit right with us, ideally we can let it go or change the amount of time we devote to it.

I know this all sounds easier said than done, and you're right, it is, but as an exercise in self-betterment, I encourage you to stop and think how you'd like to honestly spend tomorrow, taking those obligations that we can't change into account.

Would you finally put those film camera photos from fourteen years ago into albums? Would you spend all day reading a great book? Would you take a hike with your dog? Plan next year's vacation? Bring your kids to the museum? Go on a 24 hour road trip with your spouse, throw yourself into being productive, clean your house from top to bottom, give your day to volunteer work, or simply put your feet up and do nothing at all other than savour the many joys and merits of serenity?

Having established that much, seriously assess how much you can do to make that happen? If you can't read all day, can you hop off Facebook and read for an hour or two? Chance are the printed word will do far more for your mind, body and soul alike than Buzzfeed lists ever could.

Moving forward from that recent discussion with Tony, I continue to feel more empowered, which is truly refreshing and welcome. Will all of my days go as I plan and be filled with only things I want to do (either for business or pleasure)? Of course not, that wouldn't be realistic for one red second, but they can all begin and end with the same incredibly important truth. When it comes to who not only owns, but manages, my time, the answer will always remain the same: I do.

And that, my dears, is something that rings true for each of you as well. So the next time you feel overwhelmed and like your days aren't going your way, spare a moment (or however many you need) and genuinely, kindly remind yourself that you're already doing so much and that you have the right to choose, at least to a degree, where your time goes. Take it from me, once you've realized this, you'll be amazed by how many extra minutes and even hours sometimes it suddenly feels like you've gained.

For, far too often, it is our stress and worry laden minds that are even more busy than our bodies and hands, and which need to be told that it's okay to hop of the merry-go-round and journey on down a new, straight path that we've forged for ourselves, one beautiful day at a time.

41 comments:

  1. Thank you! What a terrific post. I'd been thinking of writing something with the same message for several weeks, since the same thoughts have been banging around my head. I, too, am a workaholic who drives myself into the ground. But I equally know, as you smartly point out, that I own my own time, especially since I work for myself. If I'm in prison, I'm also the warden.

    Stepping back and reassessing how we spend our time is essential. There's what economists call an "opportunity cost" to every choice we make. Time and energy spent one place deprives us of time and energy that might be spend differently. So our choices are critical. And they define us.

    Balance, as you point out, is important. I hope you find it. I'm struggling with it right now.

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    1. Thank you deeply, Ally. I truly hope that you find it as well. I very much agree with your analogy of being both a prisoner and the warden at the same time. For those who of us who "live in our heads" in particular, I think this rings especially true. Choices are incredibly critical and I've already noticed that choice to actively realize that (by and large) I have control over how I spend my time (in so much as my health will permit) has had awesome effects on my life in just a matter of days.

      I feel recharged, more confident and happier, too. Definitely a stellar note to wrap up the (super busy!) year on and a mindset I won't be dropping anytime soon as time rolls onward.

      Thank you very much for your terrific and insightful comment, my friend. Have a fabulous weekend!

      ♥ Jessica

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  2. Jessica, I love you! You so often address issues that are on my mind at the moment!

    Just last night I was having a bit of a panic about how close Christmas is and how unprepared I am. My work schedule is unrelenting this time of year and I get overwhelmed. It doesn't help that I set crazy goals for myself. This year I've spent too much time on Pinterest dreaming about all the homemade gifts I want to make for my loved ones, and as a result I have a lot of half finished (and just started) crafts all over the house. Then there are the Christmas cards to finish sending, the shopping for the Christmas foods and cookies I plan to make, and the house still barely has any decorations, etc etc...I feel so much pressure every year to make the holiday happen that I barely get a second to sit still, relax, and enjoy the season. I was almost in tears with my feelings of being overwhelmed, when my sweet husband talked to me about the reality: that Christmas won't be ruined if I can't get to everything on my list. No one will love me less if my house isn't perfectly clean all the time, and so what if some of the gifts end up being store-bought? We have food, shelter, comfort, and most importantly, EACH OTHER. Then we went for a long walk after dark with our pups and looked at our neighbors' holiday lights, and the stars were out and shining through the bare tree branches like the biggest, grandest Christmas trees of all. It was wonderful. I need to try to remember that time spent with my loved ones the only thing that really matters at the end of the day!

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    1. Hear, hear emphatically, dear Jennifer. That is so true. We don't need to kill ourselves both with physical work and mental stress to be productive or happy. In fact, the opposite is often true on the happiness front. I'm truly glad that you were able to get in a lovely evening walk and find solace and serenity in nature. For as long as I can recall, that has been one of the biggest ways in which I clear my head, center myself, and release pent up stress/worry, too. In fact, the more time I'm able to spend outdoors, the more blissful I always am without fail.

      Here's to the hope that as we head into 2015, we'll both continue to remember that we're calling the shots when it comes to our time and that we don't have to bend over backwards 24/7 to have a content and wonderful life.

      Huge hugs & the utmost of understanding,
      ♥ Jessica

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  3. What a fantastic post. Thank you so much for writing about this. I feel like sometimes we get attached to our busyness - having all of these different tasks to manage and things to juggle gives us some kind of validation, as if to say that we wouldn't be this busy if we weren't important. It can be draining, but also weirdly thrilling. That's not to say that you're only busy because you make yourself busy - I can only imagine the amount of work that goes into writing this blog, running your shop, keeping up with in person and online social obligations (I have a little sense of how many blogs you keep up with and comment on, and holy cow that must take some doing!), and managing your health concerns. But Tony sounds really wise when he points out that once in a while, it's good to drop all that and just do what you want to do. If you're in the right frame of mind, all the stuff to take care of can feel engaging and exciting and give you energy, but if you're wearing yourself thin doing it, it just because an awful, draining chore.
    Take care of yourself, sweetheart!

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    1. Thank you deeply, my sweet and caring friend. This year has been such a roller coaster for me on a plethora of fronts and I've certainly worn myself as thin as a spider's web at many points (dangerously so at the end of the summer - which made our Vancouver Island holiday at the start of autumn all the more of a massively welcome breather and way to recharge my batteries) and I know that I won't be able to sustain doing everything I want and need to if I don't make extra wise choice with how I spend my time and energy.

      Hand on my heart, I've felt a powerful (and very awesome!) change on that front since realizing the key message at root of this post (that I own my own time) and can already see what a difference adopting that mindset has had in my life over the past few days. I've done more, but I've done it in a calmer, less stressed, more balanced nature and in the process am making time to be productive offline everyday, too, not just at my keyboard. Cheesy as it may sound, in some ways I feel like a new woman and I tell you, it really is a massively welcome way to wrap up this year and head into the next. Focused, drive, forgiving (of myself if I don't get 328 things done in a day), and ready to better manage my time (as often as possible) from here on out.

      Thank you very much for your thoughtful, excellent comment. I really appreciate it.

      Huge hugs,
      ♥ Jessica

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  4. You have put into words what has been inside of me for a while. I truly believe the ability to disconnect from the unimportant but noisy distractions of our life today can be a blessing. Thank you for pointing your readers in this fashion.

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    1. It is my sincere pleasure, dear lady. Though vintage is a very important and integral part of this blog, I also like to infuse it with other subjects from time-to-time as well, especially when they reverberate as deeply with me as this (no joke) life changing realization did. Hopefully my experiences will be of help to some of my wonderful readers, too, who may find themselves in the same kind of boat.

      Sending hugs & happy weekend wishes your way,
      ♥ Jessica

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  5. Very thought provoking post indeed Jessica. Sometimes during my 60+ years I have often thought my time is not my own. However I was wrong. My time is mine to do with as I wish or want or indeed need to do. In that same vein my 2nd husband retires today after a long working life of 55+ years (he is 70) which means finally his time is to do with as he wishes or wants or needs. I'm sure both of us will have a period of readjustment because tomorrow is 'the first day of the rest of our lives' and we both are looking to spend quality time together. I hope you and Tony and your respective families have a Happy Christmas and New Year :-)

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    1. My sweet friend, how incredibly exciting for your both as you embark on this new chapter of your lives. I hope that your days are filled with serenity and excitement, joy and fun in equal messages and that you're both able to do the sorts of things that bring the most please and fulfillment as often as possible.

      Sending tons of gleeful hugs your way!
      ♥ Jessica

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  6. Oh, Jessica. I am glad you have such a thoughtful and clever husband, he is no doubt right for you. I think this is the classic work / life balance issue, which we all have to figure out. Planning is the key word, but you are so absolutely right about saying no to more tasks. I have been working very hard for many years, and I went seriously down with stress almost two years ago. I became deaf and broke down. I couldn't do anything but cry, I couldn't even say my own name. No one should experience such a break down. I was ill for three months and started working part time for another three months. Then I worked full time again for about a year but could feel the stress bubling inside me way too often, and believe me, I went to every treatments you can think off, but it takes such a long time to get over. Then 10 months ago I started working part time having Wednesday off, and it's the best thing I've ever invested in. Perhaps you should try "working part time", taking a planned day off every week, maybe two. I try not to plan too much for my off-day, just do want I feel I want to do that day when I wake up. I'm a planner and I'm always busy. I'm not that much on the internet and I hardly ever watch TV, but the Wednesdays are my off-line day, it is my creative day, where I sew, knit, bead, draw, paint or what ever I feel like while listening to old records. Long story short, I really think you should start working part time, eventually announce it on your blog, and then look forward to this day doing whatever you want to. Take care of yourself, dear Jess. Listen to one who has learned it the hard way. lots of e-hugs

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    1. Dearest Sanne, it breaks my heart to think of you suffering and in such a challenging state. I'm deeply sorry you had to experience that and am so grateful that you've been able to "make it through to the other side", if you will. I truly appreciate you speaking so candidly and for sharing publicly about the crippling effects that stress/overworking caused you. It is a grippingly powerful reminder to one and all that we must slow down at least some of the time, stop pushing ourselves over the edge with taxing work, and just savour the simple pleasures of life instead of trying to make each day a marathon of tasks.

      I appreciate your advice and do plan to make a more concentrated effort to take at least one day a week completely off. I've started to in recent months, especially now that I'm juggling the shop and my blog, and it is helping. I know that getting back to crafting (likely often on those days off) will be of great service to me there. It's an extremely important part of who I am and how I unwind, and something has been missing in my life over the past 2-3 years without much of it.

      Again, sweet Sanne. Thank you for sharing your story, for caring so deeply about me, and for being the beautiful friend that you always are. You're a blessing!

      Countless hugs,
      ♥ Jessica

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    2. You're welcome, and thank you for your kind words. I have never considered myself a blessing. :) And it is really hard for me to speak of my break down, but I do it in cases like this, because I don't think anybody should experience it. And again we are alike, the missing puzzle in my life was the creativeness. I felt my life was just work and duties, so my Wednesday is my creative day, and gives me so much joy and new energy. lots of e-hugs

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    3. Sweet Sanne, I have thought about you and what your wrote here every day since you shared it with me and have taken your words to heart so very, very much. I plan to follow your lead and reconnect with my (crafting based) creativity again in 2015 and am certain my life, stress levels, happiness, and myriad other elements in my world will improve because of it.

      It makes my soul happy to know that your crafting day has been such an help to you, my dear friend. May it always continue to be.

      ♥ Jessica

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  7. Well, I certainly don't know who owns it, but it sure ain´t me ?!
    Now really, I have to admit that sometimes I can be a bit of a procrastinator and instead of doing several things in a week, I will cram everything into Saturday, AND get it done.
    I don't have a "life plan" I go week by week.
    Just last week I called my 99 year old great aunt to ask her if she had plans for next Sunday (it was a Monday then). She answered "I don't plan so many days ahead at my age" which made me thing that its not just her - but its the reality for all of us.

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    1. How incredibly awesome that you have such a venerable relative to consult on all kinds of matters. She is right on the money indeed. I think a lot of our worry about time management stems from trying to control tomorrow, which (before it actually arrives) is about as doable as catching lightning in a bottle. Here's to celebrating, making the most of, and not stressing too much about today. It's a huge gift unto itself and shouldn't be spoiled by unrealistic expectations on our time.

      ♥ Jessica

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  8. i have to come back to read this - when i have more time! hahaha, ... but it's true. getting prepared for the move sucks!
    i think of you every day when i walk by the canadian embassy here in berlin, which is next to my work!!!! :)
    big hugs!

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    1. As someone who has moved many times in my life (over 15, if memory serves me right), I know all about the work, stress and time management demands of packing up a home and hightailing it to another. I would say, objectively, that a move is one of those experiences where our time is (to a degree at least) controlled by circumstance, but we can still influence how it's spent, which is really important.

      Aww, I'm sincerely touched that seeing the Canadian embassy makes you think of me. We don't have any embassies in my town, but if there was a German one, I'm sure I would think of you each time I saw it, too, my lovely friend.

      Big hugs & tons of happy weekend wishes,
      ♥ Jessica

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  9. Thank you for this thought-provoking post. I needed to hear that. I wish you luck with your free day!

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    1. You're very welcome, honey. I'm really glad that this post resonated with you. I generally find that when a topic (that isn't overly related to vintage) is weighing on my mind and all but begging to be written about, when I do, it often seems to be of substantial help to many of my lovely readers as well. That's one of the biggest blessings of blogging - reading posts from others that you feel speak to you and your life right now. It can be massively helpful and reassuring to know you're not the only one in a certain boat, so to speak.

      Sending lots of hugs & wishes of serenity your way,
      ♥ Jessica

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  10. Lovely advice. When I'm busy I tend to get into a mindset of "I need to do this which will take x amount of time so I can't possibly do ____" which is a pretty defeatist attitude really and there's no reason I can't take mini breaks here and there to do the things for myself - even if that's just ten minutes to properly enjoy a cup of coffee. I'll have to keep your wise words in mind.

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  11. A break from the computer is always a nice breather

    retro rover

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  12. what wonderful little epiphanies. i can tell that his means a great deal and impacted you deeply.
    i think it's lovely to read folks' though process. a very personal post like this is beautiful and a great honor.
    good thought provoking things, especially in the busy Christmas season!

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    1. Thank you very much, my sweet friend. Indeed, you know, I feel like a curtain has been thrown open and though the world may be in waist deep in winter, there's a certain sense of spring's renewal in my heart already as I take the my days now with this new and incredibly helpful mindset.

      Huge hugs,
      ♥ Jessica

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  13. I constantly ponder on how I manage and spend my time. We all juggle so much-it can become tricky. So far I have found adjusting my blog life to my everyday life has worked better for me than the other way around. My blog life is very important but obliviously my everyday life take president because so many people count on me. I also find that every things shift and change so how we spend our time can also shift and change. Thank you for this post-I enjoyed reading it dear gal :) xox

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    1. Agreed on all (wise) fronts, sweet Daffny. I think that coming to important realizations like this one has such a positive snowball effect on one's life. I can genuinely already see it starting to gain some serious momentum in my own world and I couldn't be happier about that. It seems like such a positive, empowering note to wrap up this uber busy year.

      Tons of hugs,
      ♥ Jessica

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  14. I feel like you have read my mind Jessica. Life goes so fast these days and we are always doing 50 million things and like you said sometimes it feels like that time is not yours. But your right..it is and my new years resolution is to take more time to as the saying goes "stop and smell the roses". Yesterday I stayed home from work because we got a big snow storm and I did not want to drive in it. I did some work in the am, finished a blog post as well and then decided that I could spare some time to just hang out with my husband, away from facebook etc. etc. it was wonderful and today I feel refreshed and ready to tackle a new day. Facebook/social media and such will always be part of my life but it is nice to be reminded how "I" can chose how to spend my day.

    Thank you Jessica for such a candid and wonderful post, which I think was fantastic timing especially at this time of the year.

    Liz :)

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    1. Yes, that is so true. I find time away from the web to be super refreshing and calming. I'm not saying of course that I find being online to always be stressful of anything of nature (though it certainly can be at times), just that I think we know at an intrinsic level that we weren't meant to be in front of a computer, cell phone screen, or TV 24/7 day in and day. We need downtime, offline time, outdoor time and time to just truly relax, regroup and recharge those batteries that help power us through this exceedingly hectic 21st century world.

      I'm really happy to know that this post spoke to you and your own recent experiences, dear Liz. Thank you very much for sharing as much with me. Here's to the hope that we both feel more in charge of our own time in 2015 and beyond.

      Big hugs,
      ♥ Jessica

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  15. I loved your post and wanted to share some thoughts.

    I am recently retired and still struggle not enough time! I wrote a post about his struggle came to conclusion "I get more done by just letting go of focused tasks and acting when I feel the urge. " (http://metaphysicalquilter.com/2014/08/16/forget-focus-and-live/) Time is not the enemy. Like many women; I tend to judge myself to harshly.

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    1. Yes, a thousands over, yes. I completely agree and am quickly coming to see that firsthand myself. In the same vein, I'm also realizing that instead of focusing on what I didn't/wasn't able to do in a given day, I should delight and take comfort in what I did accomplish. I've been doing this for the past several days (since the day that I discussed in this post) and can scarcely believe what a positive impact it's had on my psyche and life already.

      Off to ready your post right now. Many thanks for sharing it, dear lady.

      ♥ Jessica

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  16. This is great! I have been struggling with balancing my day job and trying to increase the blogging-writing work I want to do, and I've had to remind myself of what's important. I can't take advantage of EVERY opportunity to grow my blog/writing that comes my way, even if they are really all fantasic. I just can't handle all of them and still do the things I love: being with my family, friends, alone time with God, and crafting. And that's okay.
    I'm also trying to look at time in the way I learned while in Africa. Non-task-oriented cultures tend to look at time as an endless resource, whereas task-oriented ones see it as a precious commodity. Westerners say "Time is money," and relationally-oriented cultures say "There's always another day." I've reminded myself that, sure, some things just have to be done at a certain time. However, a LOT of things can be spread out or put off, not in the sense of procrastination, but in the sense of pacing myself and the activities I take on. The to-do list will never be finished, but that doesn't mean I have to do it all at once!

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    1. Emileigh, that is such a powerful message (of the sort that stops you square in your tracks). It's an almost alien concept to many in so much of the world these days to view time that way and yet, I genuinely feel like it the healthist approach we can have. So long as one is still alive, there is always another day and that is a blessing of immense magnitude. We should focus less on what we don't/aren't able to achieve in a day and more on what we have (even if that was nothing other than purposely relaxing). This going to be my mindset from here out (as often as it can at least) and I can tell you, even just after a few days of approaching things like this, I can already feel and see a noticeable, important change in my happiness, stress, and worry levels. The positives are, the negatives are down, and I swear, I'm more productive, but less drained.

      I really appreciate your fantastic comment and the reminder that there is almost always another way to look at things, even something as gigantic (in the scope of life) as how we view time management.

      Many hugs & joyful weekend wishes,
      ♥ Jessica

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  17. This is amazing and I need it so much! Thank you!!

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    1. I am wholeheartedly happy to know that this post came your way at a time when you too needed its message a great deal. I hope that it continues to resonate with you as we head into the new year and well beyond.

      Wishing you a serene and very beautiful holiday season,
      ♥ Jessica

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  18. This was the one we all needed, Jess.
    :)
    Over time, we let so many things slip. We get ourselves "stuck at work" and we allow ourselves to let the time "fly by".. but that is precisely the time we can't get back. Never. Ever. (well, not "never" - if you have a time-machine, and we don't so...).
    There were days I caught my self sabotaging my own time. On one side I'd st around watching TV, and on another I would mope about not having the time to write/read/fix that small door. Thankfully, I caught myself on time - the small door on the chest got fixed. (You KNOW it's not about the door).
    I got my time back by telling myself: unless it's intellectually upgrading, spiritually uplifting and teaching me something I can use in life - I don't need to watch it. It's time wasted - and I, for one, don't like wasting anything..
    ..if I am to "waste" time.. I can always take a long walk. It's good for my physical health, it clears my mind and I get to look around my town. :)

    Well written post.
    Inspiring, informative and emotional. NOT in any way a waste of my time. :D

    Marija

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    1. Thank you deeply, my dear friend. I agree entirely with you. I'm not the type who likes to or who can easily waste time. It's just not the way the universe programmed me from the get-go. Thankfully, like you said, taking a walk can be productive and an awesome way to clear your wind, sooth frayed nerves, and unwind. I'm so grateful that we live on a peaceful street, part of which is just a creek and a hill on one side, and that meandering there is always tranquil for me. I've even said that if/when we move one (zero plans now, but we do want a larger place with a yard of our own one day), it has to be peaceful like this still for the sake of my soul and mind alike.

      Thank you very much for your wonderful comment, honey. I hope you're doing well and enjoying a fabulous weekend.

      Big hugs,
      ♥ Jessica

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  19. Jessica, as others have already said, you've really put into words what a lot of us have been feeling about time. I have a an unhealthy relationship with time. I constantly have to know the time and feel as if I'm being productive. My work (as a college professor) takes up so much of my time, not just in the classroom, but off hours grading, and answering student emails at all hours of the night. Sometimes I get so overwhelmed that I probably wouldn't even know what being relax feels like, if it wasn't for my husband forcing me to give myself a brak and take it easy. Thank you for this post and reassuring me again (as others have already told me), it's okay to take time for yourself.

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    1. You are deeply welcome, honey. I truly is okay to not only take time for yourself, but to reassess how you're managing all of your time periodically. Things and circumstances change and there's nothing that says you must keep doing everything the same way if you're not happy or as happy as you'd ideally like to be.

      Like yourself, I sometimes almost forget what relaxation feels like. I know that some people might read that and find it hard to believe if they know that I'm severely chronically ill, but in reality, for me at least, that creates far more work and gives me infinitely less energy, so that the few "good hours" a week that I get, if I'm lucky, are usually ones where every fiber in my being is screaming, "cram in as much productivity as you possibly can!". Good in theory, and sometimes in practise, but perpetually operating this way (well, for the past 12.5 years that I've been chronically ill at least) can, at times, be a recipe for burn out, if not full on disaster.

      I'm going to be truly trying to manage my time more wisely and to take self-imposed (not just illness, flare-up, etc imposed) days off (with the occasional weekend or even full week off, too), and to focus way less on what I haven't achieved in a given day/week and more on what I have. We don't need to be so hard on ourselves, even if we're natural workaholics and accepting this will be one of my goals for 2015 and beyond, big time.

      I wish you the utmost of success on this front and am always here if you'd like to chat more about it.

      Big hugs,
      ♥ Jessica

      I can truly imagine what a jam packed schedule you must have,

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  20. I love this post! V. inspirational indeed. I have all of my life planned to the last minute! It isn't that I am overly busy - unemployment, you know, but I am busy and that is just who I am! I know what you mean about laundry taking two days - it sounds like it must have been a simpler life, but I doubt it was!

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  21. This is such a well written, thought provoking post and I can identify with so many of the things that you say. It is incredibly powerful to realise that you do own your own time and that there doesn't have to be a never ending treadmill of busyness going on in your life. Here is to more time spent the way you wish to spend it!

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    1. Hear, hear, my very dear friend. It is not an easy thing to discover for most and harder still to "own", if you will, in the sense of actually living the fact that in your daily life, but it's something we should all strive for - most of the time at least.

      I can already feel old (time management) habits creeping back in again, but I'm trying my best to purposefully plan my time wisely and in a way that is conducive to both productivity and personal happiness. I won't always get things right, but I hope I succeed more often than I fail.

      I wish you nothing but the best on this extremely important front as well, honey.

      Here's to a relaxing, wonderful end of the year for both of us!
      ♥ Jessica

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