March 4, 2016

New computer, new month, new approaches


March, the bridge of a month between the icy chill of winter and the first beams of spring's toasty sunlight is here and that point alone has me smiling up a storm. Add to it the fact that my new Dell laptop reached me at long last and I'm one very happy camper at the moment!

There's still some setting up, configuring and file transferring to do, but that will all get taken care of soon enough and the main point is that it's here and I was able to type these very words on it.

Naturally, I have a fair bit to catch up on from the past month and my blogging schedule for the first half of the spring has been thrown for an absolute loop (and then some!) because of the fact that I was computer-less for all of February, but as with most things in life, everything will get straightened out sooner or later and I'm trying not to worry too much about it.

Truth be told, I'm trying to worry less in general. I'm a natural worrier and I've battled various type of anxiety my whole life, so stress - especially unforeseen stress - tends to hit me hard.

During the past few weeks of being sans computer, one might have thought (understandably) that I might have taken a bit of a much needed breather, but instead I was hard at work doing as many non-computer dependent things for my blog and my Etsy shop as I could (from outfit shoots with Tony to sorting recently acquired merchandise).

Yet, in the midst of such things, I was able to find time for some areas of my life that I haven't focused on nearly enough in recent years (such as taking more outdoor walks), cataloging all of my modern books, and most importantly of all, reinforcing the concept that I simply must look at my work (blog, shop, and the other websites, such as Any New Books, that Tony and I run) as more of a 9 - 5 job.

At present, health permitting, I usually put in 40 - 80+ weeks between running this blog and my Etsy shop, plus at least several more hours for our other websites, each week. Each is a labour of love and I certainly won't be retiring off these efforts anytime soon.

When it comes to my blog and shop though, money has never been - and will never be (especially regarding my blog) the sole reason why I launched them in the first place (a love of vintage and desire to share in this passion with other like-minded people was a huge driving force behind both). It doesn't take a rocket scientist to tell you however, that such a heavy pace is not only a recipe for burnout, but ultimately a less than healthy way to approach your work.

We each need and are entitled to down-time and to have clearly distinct lines between what is work and what is personal time. Can, and do, the two sometimes overlap, you bet your bottom dollar they do - especially when, like myself, you're self-employed - but in this ever more digital world, it's important to remember that we (usually) have the ability to set boundaries and to define how we connect with things, our jobs very much included, on our terms.

I know that in order to keep on thriving, and moreover, genuinely enjoying, my time online and the world that I've built here, I must continue to have better defined work and off-time hours and that, at least once in a while, I have to take full days off and not feel almost cripplingly guilty (generally for zero legit reason) about doing so - and if you're in the same boat, too, I truly hope that you'll be able to do so as well.

I don't say all of this to lead up to any sort of announcement about radical changes, retirement plans, or complete overhauls of my life - not in the slightest.

I say it, in no small part, to help hold myself accountable in terms of separating work from off time more frequently. To remind myself that I am less stressed and far happier when I create time to take nature walks with Tony and Annie, curl up with a good book and Stella on my lap, spend a whole day just visiting friends, rearranging my closet, cooking meals to freeze for future dinners, or who knows, maybe even finally crafting again.





{This matters just as much, when all is said and done, as this does...}




In doing so, I am able to give more of myself - in terms of the quality of the focused, clearly defined work hours that I put in - and to create an ecosystem that, hopefully, holds far more longevity than burning the candle at both ends until there's nothing but a fizzled out wick stump left.

I believe that we work better, smarter, and healthier when we balance the drive and goals of our career with the other passions in our lives, and though I've rarely been a shining example of practising such in the last few years in particular, I'm vowing - even as a natural born workaholic - to work on changing that.

It's not so much that I plan to work considerably less (I don’t), but rather that I will better define when and how I work, and set boundaries. If I need to post slightly less often here to do that, so be it. If I photograph a few less items for my shop each month, so be it. If I take a little longer to reply to never-ending mountain of work related emails in my inbox, so be it.

These things matter, undeniably, but they aren't the only ones that count and when the end comes for each of us as we look back on our lives, it won't be that we didn't have time to post anything on social media on some random Tuesday in August or the fact that we were five minutes late to the office on Friday January 12th that we'll regret. No, it will be the moments with family, pets, loved ones, nature, travel, great books, our spiritual paths, and our passions that we'll wonder, could I have made more time for?

Chances are, the answer is yes and it doesn't have to mean a total 180 of how you live in the slightest. And that is the beauty of it all. We're here now and we can continue to balance the scales, give a better version of ourselves to both areas of our lives, and find, in the process, that we're happier, healthier, and far less stressed.

I walked away from a month of being computer-less with this concept at the forefront of my mind, and I will embark on life spent with my new laptop better equipped to delegate my time spent on it due in no small part to this unplanned hiatus.

Lessons are everywhere, we just have to keep our hearts and minds open to them.

37 comments:

  1. It's so nice that you took such a positive attitude to the calamity of being computer-less for so long. I think it's a great thing if it gave you some perspective and made you look at things a bit differently - in a way you've found genuinely useful, at least! I think you're quite right that we have to balance work with play and it's something that I've spent the last couple of years trying to tell myself. It doesn't always work, but I at least take holidays now, which is an improvement on the me in my early-mid 20s!! xx

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    1. Thank you very much, sweet CiCi. Being computer-less made for a long month, but it was a very worthwhile one at the same time, too, and I sense that the universe was trying to remind/show me certain things in the process, very much including the importance of better allocating my work-free time balance.

      That's a great point about holidays and how they can force you (in a good way) to step away from your work and more present in the moment. I adore them for that reason, too, and hope we're both able to get away for a while this year.

      Many hugs,
      ♥ Jessica

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  2. Yes! When you work from home (as all bloggers do) it is so easy to work all the time. I think having set times not to work whether it's a specific night each week set aside for me time or no working after 7pm is a great way to have a work life balance and is something that I very much regret not doing while Will and I ran the photography business. (We had clients call Friday night while we were out on a date..... :( ) And sometimes it's nice to just go out and do something that has nothing to do with the blog.

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    1. Isn't though? I swear, sometimes it feels like you're almost doing something naughty (even though you're not at all and it might be the most mundane non-blogging related thing, like going to grocery store of dentists's office).

      I love my blog and what I do for a living, but just as with any type of career, one cannot focus solely on such without at least the occasional breather and not eventually burnout (or get sick of it, even when it's something that you love). It's healthy and wonderful to take breaks and/or to set work hour cutoff times and that's an area I'll definitely be focusing on more this year.

      Thank you for your lovely comment. I hope that March is off to a great start for you guys.

      Big hugs,
      ♥ Jessica

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  3. Such an inspirational post, and very true words that I have taken to heart over the last year as well. Life is too short and one must enjoy every moment (outside of this computer world). My weekends are spent off social media (for the most part) and being engaged in my life with my husband, family and friends and it has been so nice.

    Funny how something like a broken computer, makes you see life a bit different.

    Have a wonderful weekend Jessica :)

    Liz

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    1. That it is, sweet Liz, that it definitely is. I love seeing things in new/better/healthier ways and ultimately (save for the big bill for new laptop) am grateful for how this February unfolded. Clearly the universe felt I needed the reminders that came my way.

      Many hugs & happy Monday wishes,
      ♥ Jessica

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  4. Yay for the new computer! And the outdoor walks. And your wise perspective on work and life.

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    1. That's a huge "yay" for sure. :) It's awesome to be back to more of my usual routine (albeit one that's currently overflowing with a backlog to catch up on from February). I feel recharged and even more focused about how I'll be blogging throughout 2016 thanks to this unplanned breather and look forward to what each exciting day holds in store.

      Have a fantastic week!
      ♥ Jessica

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  5. Yay your new computer arrived! I think it's definitely good to take a step back every now and then and evaluate how much time you spend on blogging and other online activities. I've definitely gotten too wrapped up in blogging that it starts to become a chore, and I don't want that to happen! I always have to remember to take breaks and spend time enjoying the simple little things in life. :) Happy March!

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    1. For sure, that can be the seed, so to speak, of the ultimate death blow for just about any blog. Yes, blogging is (hard!) work, but it shouldn't feel painful, stressful, or tedious and if does, it's time to have a serious look at why such is the case and what you can do to remedy the situation, assuming one wants to keep blogging (often, in my experience, the answer simply is spending like time online).

      Big hugs & happy wishes for the coming week,
      ♥ Jessica

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  6. First off, yey! New computer! Secondly, If I believed in such things then I would swear you had lived more than one life. You are so wise, such a wonderfully deep thinking woman, I can't fault anything you have said. I often worry when I see some pictures of you, where, yes you look beautiful but your eyes look tired or as in the last shoot you shared, you look cold. I know your health conditions can be set off by many things and to see you going to such lengths for us who read your blog is so humbling. I am so glad you will be taking more time for yourself and your dear husband. I will look forward to every post you share as always, but, on the days where you leave it a little longer between posts, I will have a small smile to myself and hope you are enjoying some well earned Jessica time. Wishing you the very best my dear xx

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    1. Emily dear, you have a heart of gold and a soul as caring as the day is long. Thank you deeply for "keeping an eye on me", so to speak, and for always being here with a supportive, loving, kindhearted word. I really appreciate it and likewise look forward to bringing you many more fun vintage (and occasionally otherwise :)) filled posts here this year.

      Huge hugs & joyful wishes for the new week,
      ♥ Jessica

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  7. Congratulations on the new computer, I'm sure Tony will set it up nicely for you. And I've said it before, but will do it again: You HAVE to work less! You HAVE to find time to relax and to do what fuels your energy, be it walking in nature, reading or crafting. I don't think 9 to 5 will work for you, but then set an hour limit of work each day, like 7 or 8 hours, and then shut down. And again, I am sure you don't HAVE to answer all emails. You can send a very short, and polite as you always are, reply and some don't even need a reply. You have to plan, perhaps set an alarm, so when it sounds the work day is off. Do take care, dear. Hugs from one who has found inner peace and enjoys being off and crafting. :) XOXO

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    1. Thank you very much! It is definitely immensely helpful having an expert "in house" when it comes to all things computer related, and I really appreciate that he's able to help me out on that front. I do feel like I know a fair bit about computers (and of course the web) at this point in time, but my knowledge is a mere drop in the bucket compared to his.

      Caps are more than warranted and I second them completely. I truly mean it when I say that your words of encouragement and support in regards to taking time off have been instrumental in the baby steps forward that I've already made on that front (your suggestion to literally start with one hour off was a light bulb moment for me and has been a catalyst towards greater periods away from my work ever since) and that they will help me continue to achieve a greater degree of work-life balance.

      Countless thanks. I always value your impute and hope you'll continue to keep sharing it with me on many fronts.

      Big hugs from still sort-of-wintry Penticton,
      ♥ Jessica

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  8. It's an art getting that balance right isn't it? Glad you have your new computer, hope that you get to grips with it quickly! x

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    1. Isn't it though?! I would say that it's a quite unlike anything else in my life (the work/downtime balance, I mean). It's hard to even come up with a similar comparison - perhaps because it's a unique sort of world unto itself (yes, intense schooling can be similar, but that really more like a job unto itself than something much more removed from that general field).

      Aside from finding the track pad to be the hardest to get used to one that I've had on a laptop so far, we're getting on quite nicely and I must say, it's a joy to type (very comfy keys).

      Many hugs & happy wishes for the new week,
      ♥ Jessica

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  9. Wonderful post (congrats on the new computer!), and what a wonderful reminder for all of us to keep things balanced. For those of us who don't have a traditional 8-5 job, it can be more of a challenge to separate work and fun (I'm a social media coach and freelance writer, so that means I can take an afternoon off, but I might be doing work at 10pm). Thanks for sharing these insights!

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    1. Thank you very much on both counts, dear Grace. So true about one's work hours being all over the place. I used "9 - 5" quite figuratively here, because most days there's no way that's the actual hours I'm working either. In fact, because I'm often up at night due to my health, I tend do a ton of work then and (sometimes) sleep for part of the daytime hours (so my 9 - 5 can literally be PM - AM, not AM - PM :)).

      Here's to us self-employed ladies and the continual effort to balance work and play.

      Big hugs,
      ♥ Jessica

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  10. Balance is the healthiest thing to seek! I'm sure it's quite the task to carefully compartmentalize work and rest/hobby/leisure when the two of them are intertwined in the vintage world.

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    1. Very well said, dear Kira. It can be for sure - the struggle, as the expression goes nowadays, is real and in some respects is a very 21st century issue in so much as working online is involved. There are worse problems to have of course, and sometimes just talking about the subject like this can be hugely helpful, especially when others share their insight on it.

      Many hugs,
      ♥ Jessica

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  11. Huzzah for a new computer and for your new plans! Nine to five sounds good. I too get stressed easily which in turn affects my health. I have had the absolute worst headache these past few days which isn't helping matters any xx

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    1. Oh my word, do I know that that is like. Pretty much story of my life. Even though, at a mental level, I can (humbly) usually handle stress like a champ, I feel it at the drop of a hat, worry way too much, and continually have it wreck havoc with my health as well (though I do try take steps to try and help counterbalance - at least in part - that heavy impact, including meditating on a very regular basis). Life is definitely more challenging for those of us in this boat and I'm really sorry that it's one you find yourself in, too. Please know that I'm always here for you if you need someone to talk to about anything.

      Big hugs, sweet Melanie,
      ♥ Jessica

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  12. I've been thinking a lot about finding balance and setting boundaries, so it's refreshing to see someone else searching for a way to have an online presence and an offline life. It's so easy to be sucked into the online world!

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    1. Isn't it though - like almost scarily easy. I highly suspect that this is a topic many of us think about/struggle with, but which we tend to just keep to ourselves (or at least not bring up online), which is a shame because, I think that we can really help one another out with our own unique perspectives on the topic and hope that others will post (on their sites) with entries pertaining to the perpetual struggle for work-life balance as well.

      Thank you very much for your great comment. Have a fantastic week!

      ♥ Jessica

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  13. I'm glad that you have your new computer and also that you found time to do some other enjoyable things in it's absence. I find that making time for crafting, reading and walking is enormously important to the state of my mental health and I now try to fit these in as much as possible and also to not feel guilty about putting them first!

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    1. I think that that (not feeling guilty) is one of the biggest hurdles for many these days, frequently myself included. I shouldn't feel bad for taking an hour, an evening or even a whole weekend off - those with more traditional jobs usually do so and aren't (I suspect) as prone to such guilt - and yet, so often I do. I'd love a solid explanation for why that is the case, but so far don't entirely have one. I'm a huge workaholic, sure, but that can't be the only reason. Whatever the case, I'm not going to let such feelings win and actually hope I can quash them a bit by routinely making off-time more of a priority in my life. Way to go on doing so yourself, my dear friend. I hope I can follow your lead.

      Many hugs & happy Monday wishes,
      ♥ Jessica

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    2. The guilt thing is really hard and I am not always successful at not feeling it. However, I think that even just being aware that it is ridiculous and unnecessary to feel guilty when you take time out for yourself is at least part of the way to moving past those feelings. Good luck!

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  14. Hear hear! I completely understand where you're coming from. At the beginning of the year I had some time off work when my office closed for the holidays, and that little breather made me realise how exhausted I'd been. I was pushing myself far too hard and putting unnecessary pressure on myself to do All The Things perfectly. I'm trying to make a more concerted effort to set aside time for resting and recharging. Each night after 9pm I have a dedicated wind-down time when I have my shower, put on my pjs and either cuddle in with a book or a movie. I've set aside my Sundays purely for fun, relaxing pursuits, whether that's catching up on my reading, meeting friends for coffee or just pottering about with some crafts. And I'm seeing great results with my overall health and mindset. I hope that you also manage to draw that boundary between work and life so that you can enjoy each one more fully and feel like you're being productive AND taking care of yourself.

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    1. So true! Sometimes I find that my health takes more of a nosedive (temporarily) when I stop working (or slow down a lot) than when I'm pouring myself into it around the clock. If there's a name for this phenomenon, I'd love to learn it! I actually experienced this a fair bit in February and that coupled with some really intense (for me) physical activity the weekend before last has left me with some brutal flare-ups. They'll calm down eventually of course, but also serve in the process of a reminder of just how vital properly managing my work/downtime balance is.

      It's awesome that you've set aside your Sundays just for fun and relaxation. I'm trying very hard to work up to having a whole day off each week (or at least every other week) as well. That would be a big step for me in recent years and one that I'd imagine will only have positive repercussions throughout my life. You're an inspiration to me there, dear Vanessa, as I continue to work towards reaching that point, too.

      Tons of hugs,
      ♥ Jessica

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  15. I can't wAit to see your great ideas

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    1. Thank you, sweet Kate! You're always so supportive and kind.

      Big hugs to you and all of your darling pets,
      ♥ Jessica

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  16. I am glad you are back, missed you and your posts. I totally understand taking breaks too...been feeling the need, but it likely won't come for months! That being said, would love to collaborate with you in the future, any way you like.

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    1. That's so sweet to hear, Ruby, thank you very much. I missed being here in my usual capacity and certainly visiting your terrific blog, too. Fingers crossed that nothing else throws my usual routine off schedule for that long again this year and that we can keep on connecting frequently all throughout 2016.

      Oodles of hugs,
      ♥ Jessica

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  17. Yes, absolutely! Setting boundaries between work and play is so important when you don't have the spatial break of "going to the office". When I was doing my PhD, it was so easy to not only work at all hours but feel guilty for spending time on other things and to be thinking and worrying even when supposed to be doing other things. Thankfully I had my own realisation midway through or I suspect I'd have burned out.
    All the walks and craft and time with loved ones will also help make your time spent on your work more productive, as you won't be secretly yearning to be taking a much-needed break!

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    1. I find this sort of guilt, which I battle against pretty much all the time, so fascinating. Where does it stem from and why are we so prone to feeling it? It isn't healthy or very logical, yet it plagues so many of us. It's excellent that you were able to realize that you needed to scale back your workload in time. I hope that the same rings true for me as well and that taking even small blocks of time away from work will prevent me from eventually burning out, too.

      Thank you very much for relating your own story here with me/us and for your wise words. All are sincerely appreciated.

      Many hugs,
      ♥ Jessica

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  18. Great post! I completely understand. I left an extremely high stress, long, LONG hours career in Jan 2015 and it was the best thing I ever did. I went to school for a long time for this career and I don't miss it or regret it. I now have a "job" and I love that I devout my greatest energy and creativity to my LIFE and not my job. Nothing wrong with re-evaluating things.

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  19. Congratulations of getting your new lap top in! <3 I know you've been waiting for it! I hope you will be able to achieve your goals of separating working from your free time too! The walks you've been taking more of sound refreshing and curling up with a good book can be the best time spent! <3

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